All This Time
by SpringHiller09
Summary: Poison and Wine Sequel! Bella and Edward finally have their happily ever after when their daughter is born. But, what happens when reality finally pops their perfect little bubble?
1. In Your Eyes

**Chapter One: In Your Eyes**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

"I can't believe how perfect she is." I cried as I sat on the edge of the hospital bed, looking down at our beautiful baby girl wrapped in pink.

"She really is." Bella agreed as our daughters face pinched. "Thank you for giving me one of the most beautiful little girls."

"I can't believe she's here." I shook my head, reaching down and gently placing my hand on the top of her hatted head. There was a soft knock on the door and the baby squeaked in protest to the visitors who were walking into the room.

"Oh, Bella." Renee gushed when she said her granddaughter in Bella's arms. "She's gorgeous."

"What's her name?" Ava asked excitedly. She was completely impatient at this point since we'd kept the gender a secret from everyone but ourselves. I looked down at Bella and smiled.

"Everyone, we'd like you to meet..." She trailed off as she looked down at the baby. "Paige Alexandra Masen."

"What a pretty name." My Mom gushed as she scooted closer to her first grandchild. I smiled as she looked down lovingly at our daughter and grabbed her hand tightly.

"Mom, you wanna hold her?" I asked when I saw Renee smile at me to let my Mom hold her first.

"Oh, yes please." She gushed as Bella gently placed Paige into my Moms arms. In that moment, I didn't think she would ever let her go and we'd need security to pry her off. But, Mom was willing to share and after a while, handed Paige over to Renee to hold.

Our family stayed in the room with us, passing Paige back and forth, until a nurse came in telling everyone that Bella needed some sleep. Our parents finally put the baby in the plastic bassinet, and left us alone with Ava and Paige. Once everyone was gone, Ava looked up at us in excitement.

"I've always wanted a sister." She said softly as she looked down at the baby. I smiled at her as I placed my hands on her shoulders, giving her a squeeze. "She's really cute."

"She is." Bella agreed before yawning. "I have two beautiful daughters now."

"Was I this cute?" Ava laughed as she went and snuggled up next to Bella.

"You were." Bella agreed as she leaned her head back onto her pillow. She started having contractions yesterday morning and her water finally broke at lunch. We'd been here for almost a day and we were both exhausted. Even though I hated to see her go, Bella needed her sleep so I had to send Ava back with Charlie and Renee so everyone could get some rest.

I spent the entire time Bella was asleep, watching Paige as she slept. She was just so small and innocent and it was still hard to believe that she was mine. Bella and I had created her, and I was just mesmerized by her. Every squawk, jostle, and pinch of her face made me melt and I didn't know how I was ever going to go back to work.

At around dinner time, after Bella had gotten some sleep, there was another knock at the door. Our friends walked through and Alice nearly screamed when she saw the baby in Bella's arms. She was the first one to hold her, and like my mother, I suspected we were going to need security's help getting her back.

"What's her name?" Jasper asked after he'd finally gotten Alice to let her go.

"Paige." I told everyone, and like I predicted, Alice told us that was the perfect name. But, according to Bella, she also said Ava was the perfect name and nothing could top that.

"Where's Hunter?" Bella asked as Jasper handed the baby to Rosalie.

"With Rose's folks." Emmett answered as he looked down at Paige, making the dumbest faces at her. He may not have known much about babies, but he sure knew how to make them smile and laugh. "Shelby has been begging us for more Hunter time."

"She looks just like you, Edward." Rosalie smiled as she stuck her tongue out at Paige. "Look at those eyes already."

"She's got a lot of you in her too, Bells." Alice pointed out as she reached out and grabbed Paige's tiny hand. "I just can't believe she's finally here. I feel like we've been waiting forever."

"You feel like you've been waiting forever?" Bella laughed. After everyone had a chance to hold Paige, we had to kick them out so Bella could feed her. She decided she wanted to try breastfeeding this time around and I wasn't going to argue with her when I read about all of the benefits.

Three days later, it was time to bring our beautiful baby girl home. I buckled her into the seat as Bella slowly walked around the room, gathering her things. I told her I'd do it, but she insisted on doing it herself. Paige fell back asleep immediately after I'd buckled her in and I just smiled at her.

I didn't think I'd ever get enough of her.

"Ready?" I asked when everything was cleaned up. I grabbed the carrier and the diaper bag and headed for the door, but Bella stayed behind. "Bella?"

"I know that I've done this before but that was almost fourteen years ago." She told me. "I don't...what it..."

"Bella," I said softly, walking over to her and putting the carrier back on the bed. "Last time you did this, you were alone. I'm here this time and...you're a great Mom. You always have been."

"Right," She nodded. "We can do this. Oh my gosh, just look at her." She gushed as we looked down at Paige, who was yawning. "Let's go home."

"Please." I smiled as I grabbed the seat again and Bella sat in the wheelchair the nurse had brought in. Another nurse came in and wheeled Bella down the hall so that I could carry the baby. She wheeled us right to the car and helped Bella get into the backseat. I latched Paige into the base of the car seat and jumped up front.

I was definitely one of those new dads who drove way too slow on the way home from the hospital, but I didn't care. I wanted to be absolutely sure my daughter got home safe and I wasn't going a mile over the speed limit. When we got home, Bella rolled her eyes when she saw all of the cars parked out front.

"They did it again." She laughed as I helped her out of the car. "This happened when I brought Ava home from the hospital."

"They're pretty great." I laughed as I grabbed Paige's carrier. We walked up the front path to the door and Bella grabbed her keys to unlock the door. When we opened the door, an group of people yelled surprised, scaring the Paige awake.

"You guys," Bella said as tears filled her eyes. "This happened when I brought Ava home, too."

"You're so damn emotional." Mike laughed, handing Bella a tissue. Mike and his wife had moved to a town about an hour away when she got a job offer. They didn't see much of him anymore, but he was there when it counted. And I was really happy when he was there to meet Paige.

"I can't help it." Bella laughed as Rosalie gave her a hug. We took some time to show Paige off to the people who didn't come to the hospital before taking her upstairs so she could eat and sleep. I let Bella feed her and put her down in our room, and waited downstairs with everyone.

After an afternoon full of congratulations and people coming in and out of the house, the party was finally finished. My parents said their goodbyes, and I knew how much they wanted to stay and spend time with their granddaughter, but their schedules just wouldn't allow it.

"You sure I can't keep her?" Mom asked as she held Paige one final time. "I'll take really good care of her."

"I don't think Bella would allow that." I smiled as I kissed the top of Paige's head. "But, nice try."

"We'll be out here soon hopefully." Dad sighed. They had already come out for Thanksgiving and Christmas since Bella couldn't travel at that point in her pregnancy. I knew they didn't have much vacation time left, and we couldn't travel with the baby for a while.

"We'll FaceTime." I promised, knowing that even though it wasn't as good as in person, it was a good second choice. Mom tearfully gave Paige to my Dad so he could say his goodbyes and went to give Ava a hug goodbye. I knew Ava considered my parents more grandparents than Jake's folks, but that was only because she saw them more. And I knew my parents loved Ava as if she were mine.

Charlie offered them a ride to the airport so I wouldn't have to leave Bella alone, and I went upstairs to see what my girls were up to. I smiled when I walked into our bedroom and heard Ava reading a book to Paige as Bella sat on the bed with the baby in her arms.

"Goodnight voices everywhere." Ava whispered and leaned down and kissed Page on the cheek. She was already such an amazing big sister, and it was so clear how excited she was for this. I just hoped Paige's screams in the middle of the night didn't sour Ava's mood.

"I'm happy to see you're starting bedtime stories so early." I laughed, taking Paige from Bella's arms. "That's a great book."

"I know." Ava smiled, scooting closer to Bella. "I remember Mom always read it to me when I was sick or hurt. She read it a lot when I fell off the jungle gym."

"Please don't remind me of that." Bella said. "That was the scariest time of my life." She said, looking up at me. Even though that was the scariest moment to ever happen to me, I couldn't help but be kind of thankful it happened. It was because Ava fell off the jungle gym that Bella and I really had time to get to know each other.

* * *

"No," Bella groaned when Paige's screams filled the room for the third time that night. It had been a stressful few days, and the two of us were already completely exhausted. Bella was especially tired since she had to get up to feed her every time. "She weighs like three ounces, how is she hungry again?"

"I'll get her." I offered, pulling the blankets off and standing up. The wooden floor was shockingly cold against the bottom of my bare feet and I practically ran over to the basinet. I gently picked up up, and she calmed down slightly as I walked her over to Bella.

"Oh, Paige." She sighed as I handed her over. I stood by the window while Bella fed her because in a few minutes, it would be time to burp and change her. Once Bella was finished, I took her so she could fall back asleep and grabbed a burping cloth from the top of the dresser.

I walked over to the window and watched as snow slowly fell from the sky. I gently, but firmly, patted Paige's back and after a few good pats she finally burped. I removed the cloth and put it in the laundry basket and continued to walk Paige around the room until it was time to change her diaper.

By the time I had her swaddled and put back in her bassinet, Bella was already fast asleep. It was good though since she was used to doing everything for the baby in the middle of the night. I was glad that I could be there to relieve some of the pressure.

Paige had woken us up two more times before our alarms went off to get Ava up and ready for school. Bella didn't have any energy to make her eggs and toast like normal, but she didn't complain. Since Bella was upstairs feeding Paige, I even let Ava have the sugary cereal that was saved for the weekends.

"Did the baby wake you up?" I asked as I poured myself a second cup of coffee.

"Yeah, but it's no big deal." She shrugged. "I fell right back asleep once she stopped."

"You're being such a good sport." I smiled, patting her back.

"She's my sister." Ava shrugged, taking another big bite. "I knew she was going to scream a lot when she was born."

"I wished someone would have told me." Bella laughed as she came downstairs with Paige in her arms. I went over and kissed both of them on the cheek before Bella put her down in her bouncer on the kitchen island. We'd gotten more bouncers than we'd asked for, but the extra proved to be handy. We didn't have to keep carrying it from room to room.

"Mom, you knew she was going to cry." Ava laughed.

"You barely ever cried, Ava." She told her as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "I mean, you obviously did because you were a baby, but Paige cries a lot more than you."

"I guess I was just the poster child for perfect babies." She laughed and we just rolled our eyes.

"You ready for school?" Bella asked after she'd taken a minute to enjoy her hot coffee. Ava was starting a new semester of seventh grade after their winter break. "Your bag packed?"

"Yep, Edward made sure I had everything last night before I went to bed." She told Bella. Bella turned to me an mouthed a thank you as Paige started cooing from her seat. I went over and smiled down at her and I knew I really would never get enough of her.

"Alright, we gotta go." I said, clapping my hands together once I saw what time it was. Ava took her last few bites of her cereal, said goodbye to her sister and mom, and I grabbed the car keys. I dropped her off in front of school and made sure she made it inside before heading to the store.

I grabbed everything we were out of, which was pretty much all food, and headed home. I sighed in relief when I saw Renee's car parked out front. I knew how frazzled Bella was already with the new baby, and I knew Renee was the perfect person to help her.

I carried the bags inside and put the groceries away while Renee and Bella sat in the living room. Once I was finished with the groceries, I got some cleaning down around the house that we'd been neglecting. I just wanted Bella to have as easy of a time as she could, especially since I would have to go back to work at the end of the month.

Bella had finally finished school once Ava was a little more independent when we'd moved in together. She'd done some freelance writing, but she decided she wanted to stay home with Ava. By the time she felt she was ready to go into an office to work, we found out that she was pregnant. I knew Bella and if she had to choose between her job and her family, she'd choose her family every time.

"Thanks, babe." Edward smiled as I sat down on the couch beside her. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and smiled as I watched Renee with Paige.

"Do you think we have to worry about her?" I asked, referring to Renee who probably hadn't put Paige down since she'd gotten here.

"Not sure." Bella sighed. "I lived with her when Ava was born. There wasn't anywhere for her to go."

"I would never steal her." Renee told us, sounding very offended that we would even think that. "I would only borrow her for an afternoon."

"You wanna borrow her for a night?" Bella laughed as my phone buzzed in my pocket. I untangled myself from Bella and reached to grab it. I saw that Emmett was trying to FaceTime me and I looked at Bella in confusion. This never happened, especially since he only lived ten minutes away.

"Hello?" I asked when I answered the call and his face popped up on my phone.

"He's walking!" Emmett shouted excitedly. "Hunter's walking! Look!" He said, turning the phone to where Hunter was. Bella and I watched in amazement as he slowly stumbled towards Rosalie who was holding one of his stuffed animals.

"Look at him go!" Bella gushed as she grabbed my arms. "Rose!"

"I know!" She smiled as she picked him up and kissed his cheek. "He'd been cursing for a while and then just a few minutes ago...he let go of the table and walked over to where his toy box is."

"Did you get a video?" I asked.

"Only about twenty." Emmett laughed. "I just didn't know what to do so I called you."

"Awe, thanks." Bella sighed. "He saying any words yet?"

"No, but we're working on it." Rosalie laughed as Hunter saw us in the phone and started waving. We waved back as Paige started crying over in Renee's arm. I checked my watch and it was time for her mid-morning snack. "How's Paige doing?"

"Bella says she's crying a lot more than Ava did." I told them. "But she's really good. Still the cutest baby ever."

"Cutest baby _girl_ ever." Rosalie pointed out. "We've got the cutest baby boy."

"Oh stop, Rosalie." Bella laughed as she picked Paige up and went upstairs to feed her. I spent a few more minutes on the phone with them before Hunter started getting fussy and they had to hang up. I put the phone on the coffee table and slumped back on the couch.

"How are you doing, Dad?" Renee asked.

"I have no idea how Bella did this by herself with Ava." I sighed, closing my eyes as my head rested on the back of the couch. "I gotta give her way more credit now."

"It'll get easier." She assured me. "You're just getting into a routine."

"Yeah," I yawned as Paige's screams filled the house. I squeezed my eyes shut before standing up and going upstairs to see if their was anything I could help with. Bella told me she was just being difficult, and unless I grew some boobs, I couldn't help. So, I sat with her while she fed Paige and took her to be burped.

"I'm gonna get the laundry." Bella said once I had Paige safely in my arms. "You good?"

"Always." I smiled, leaning down and kissing her forehead before she walked out of the room. "Oh, Miss Paige. Why do you have to make everything so difficult?" I laughed as I patter her on the back, coaxing her to burp.


	2. Forgive the Urgency

**Chapter Two: Forgive the Urgency**

* * *

 **Bella's POV**

I cringed when I heard the front door slam shut at three thirty in the afternoon. The noise scared Paige and now I had two angry daughters to deal with. I knew it was a bad idea to agree to let Jake pick Ava up from school on Thursdays since he hardly ever followed through with his promises anymore.

Jake had been in therapy ever since he was ordered by the court to do so. Therapy had been good for him, and I had seen a good change in him. But, after he met his new trashy girlfriend, he started slipping back into his old ways. Except, now he wasn't even really paying attention to Ava. He told me a few weeks ago, right after Paige was born, that he wanted to make things right with Ava.

And I stupidly agreed to let him take her one weekday after school.

I calmed Paige down before going downstairs to where Ava was slumped down on the couch. I hated seeing her this way. I hate that Jake could literally tear her world apart with one single action. I wanted to kill him, but Edward said jail wouldn't be worth it. I gently laid Paige down in her seat and went over to sit next to her.

"He didn't even show up, Mom." She cried, leaning in and placing her head on my shoulder. "I waited outside of the school for thirty minutes and he never came."

"I'm so sorry, baby." I whispered, stroking her hair and trying to fight back my own tears. Between the exhaustion and my hatred for Jake, I was a hot mess ready to explode at any time. "Maybe something happened at work."

"No, he's just a jerk." She sobbed and the only thing standing in my way from going to Jake's place was the fact that there wasn't anyone to watch Paige. I sat with Ava until she was finished crying and told me she just wanted to get her homework done before dinner time. I hated seeing her this way and I knew I should never have agreed to let him do this.

Finally, at four, Edward came walking through the door and I had never been so excited for him to be home. He had to go back to work only a month after Paige was born, even though we had just gotten into a good routine. But, he was still up with me for every feeding and stayed awake to burp and change her.

"What's up?" He asked, throwing his bag on the couch and walking over to the seat Paige was sitting in. He gently picked her up and snuggled her close to his chest before moving towards me and giving me a kiss. "You looked really angry."

"Jake blew Ava off." I huffed as I stood up and began pacing the room. "I mean, he literally left our thirteen year old daughter sitting on the front steps of the school."

"He did not." Edward sighed, shaking his head in disgust. "I got her if you wanna go over there and kill him."

"You sure?" I asked.

"Of course, I could always use some extra Paige time." He smiled down at his daughter. I leaned up and gently pressed my lips against his before grabbing my coat and keys. I made my way over to his crappy apartment building and stormed into the lobby.

I pounded on the door until it opened, and I was furious. He was fully dressed with his phone pressed to his ear, and I knew he didn't have any excuse. He'd forgotten about our daughter.

"Bella, I can't right now." He argued and then started talking to whoever he was on the phone with. I grabbed my phone from my bag an found a picture of Ava and showed it to him. He pressed his eyebrows in confusion and continued to talk on the phone.

"Remember her?" I asked, and he tried to shut the door in my face. "Your daughter? The one you had plans with this afternoon." Color drained from his face as he realized what he'd done. "She's fucking crushed, Jake. I can't believe you!"

"Yeah, Dr. Myers I'm going to have to call you back." He finally said to the person on the phone and hung up the phone. "Shit, I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize to me." I barked. "I'm not the one you left crying on the front steps of the school."

"I got pulled into an important meeting." He shrugged.

"Over the phone?" I hissed.

"It was with a potential new vet." He explained. "He lives in Florida and this was the only time I could get him on the phone."

Despite his time in jail, Jake was able to get a pretty good job at the a local aquarium. He'd worked his way up to more of a partner than a marine biologist at this point, and it was actually pretty impressive. But that didn't mean it was okay for him to blow Ava off every time something with work came up.

"I'll make it up to her." He defended. "I'll take her to dinner tonight."

"It's not about that, Jacob." I told him. "All you had to do was tell her that you got caught up with work and she probably would have understood. Except, this isn't the first time this has happened and she's getting real impatient with you, Jake."

"I'll come over." He insisted.

"No way," I shook my head. "You are not coming into my house with my new baby after you've been god knows where." I told him. "You know...I think you should just stay away from Ava for a while."

"Not this again, Bella." He snorted. "She's my kid."

"And all you've been doing is breaking her heart, Jake." I reminds him. "She doesn't want to see you right now, and you're only going to do more harm than good."

"Bella,"

"Let her cool off." I told him. "Give her some time and when she's ready, she'll come to you."

"You're so full of shit." He laughed.

"Maybe." I agreed. "But at least I don't forget about our kid when I make a promise to her." I snapped and turned to walk away.

"Bella!" He called, but I didn't want to deal with him anymore and I just kept walking. When I was driving home, I gripped the steering wheel so tight my knuckles were turning white. Without even thinking, I made the turn to go to my parents place rather than my house. I knew Edward had everything under control with the baby and Ava.

When I got to my parents, I used my key to let myself inside. They had never asked for their key back and I never thought I would have to. It was calming to smell my mother's garlic chicken in the oven, and I hung my coat up on the pegs by the door. I walked into the kitchen where my Mom was mashing the potatoes and slumped down into a chair at the kitchen table.

"Rough day?" She asked, scooping some potato onto a spoon and handing it to me.

"You could say that." I sighed, taking a bite off the soon. "It needs more butter." I told her, setting the spoon down on the table. "Jake was supposed to pick Ava up after school today and he never showed up."

"Thirteen years later and he still hasn't figured it out?" Mom laughed as she stirred more butter into the bowel. "How's Ava?"

"Crushed." I told her. "She thinks she isn't worth her Dad's time, and I'm honestly starting to think that too." I sighed. "What do I do, Mom?"

"I think Ava is old enough to start making her own decisions when it comes to Jake." She shrugged. "I think it's time you let her figure out if she wants to spend more time with her."

"She's only thirteen." I pointed out. "She's emotional and...I don't know. I just wish for once he would be selfless with her."

"Did he at least tell her why he couldn't make it?"

"No," I shook my head. "He left her sitting on the steps of the school before she finally walked home." I told her. "I went over there and let him have it."

"Did he tell you the reason he blew her off?"

"Work, as usual." I told her as she gave me another spoonful to taste. "This is a lot better."

"At least it wan't the bimbo." Mom laughed.

"Mother," I gasped, but I couldn't help myself and I started laughing with her. "I hope he's being more careful than he was with me. Either he's going to break her heart and she'll kill him with one of her heels or she'll end up pregnant...and I know he doesn't want that."

"That poor baby." Mom mused as she pulled the chicken out of the over. "Your Dad should be home soon, wanna stay?"

"I wish I could, but Paige is going to have to eat soon." I sighed. "Can I take a raincheck?"

"Of course." She smiled as I stood up and gave her a hug. She made sure to give Ava extra hugs for her and I promised her I would. By the time I got home, Edward had started dinner and I could hear Esme's voice in the other room. I walked in and sat next to Edward, who was holding Paige and trying to FaceTime his Mom as well.

"Hi, Esme!" I called, taking Paige from Edward's arm so he could hold his iPad more easily. "Hey you." I cooed down at Paige who gave me a big yawn in return.

"I was just telling Edward that I can't believe how big she's gotten in just a month." Esme gushed. "When can you guys come out?"

"Mom," Edward sighed. "We've been over this. We can't go on any road trips and we defiantly can't go on any planes until Page is older."

"I know." She closed her eyes. "I just wished we lived closer."

"We do too." I whispered as Paige started cooing. "You guys just need to get less demanding jobs." I told her. Carlisle had left the hospital shortly after Edward and I had gotten married to start his own private practice. He told everyone that he just couldn't do the hospital scene anymore, but wasn't ready to completely retire. Esme was also doing really well at her firm and continually told us that she couldn't leave them stranded.

So, here we were. Thousands of miles away with their only grandchild and unable to see them.

"Esme," I heard Carlisle say off screen. "We gotta go."

"Where you going, Dad?" Edward asked as Paige started to get fussy.

"Errands." Carlisle was too quick to say. "Hi, Paige." He smiled as he came into view. "Sorry, guys." He said and the screen went black.

"That was weird." Edward sighed as Paige started to cry. I went upstairs to feed her while Edward finished cooking dinner. By the time we sat down to eat, Ava was in a much better mood, but I knew she was still crushed over what happened this afternoon.

* * *

"Paige, please." I begged as I rocked my screaming baby girl in my arms. It was getting to the point where she was more unhappy than happy and I was at a loss. I didn't even know how to keep my daughter happy for more than a half an hour at a time. Esme told me Edward was the same, but he grew out of it eventually.

"What's wrong with her?" Ava groaned as she walked into my bedroom where I was trying to calm Paige down. "She hasn't stopped crying all afternoon."

"I know, I'm sorry sweetie." I yelled over the screams. "Why don't you call Pap?" I suggested. "Have him come get you and you can do your homework in peace at their house."

"You sure?" She was so sweet with how much she wanted to help me with the baby. "I don't mind staying."

"I want you to get your work done." I nodded as Paige's cries died down slightly. My Dad showed up a little while later to pick Ava and I shoved him out the door so he wouldn't get distracted by Paige. I rocked her, gave her multiple pacifiers, and even set her down to see if that would make her happy. Nothing was working and Edward was stuck at a mandatory conference for the afternoon.

After she'd been crying for an hour nonstop, I grabbed my phone and called one of the only people I knew would be able to keep me sane. Alice told me she would be right over and not to panic because she was bringing reinforcement with her. I paced back and forth with Paige, anxiously waiting for them to get here.

"She won't stop." I cried as the tears finally slid down my cheeks. I knew crying would only make it worse and the more upset I was, the more upset she would get. But I didn't know what to do anymore and crying seemed to be my best option. "I can't get her to calm down."

"Here," Alice offered, holding her arms out so I could hand Paige to her. She continued to scream as Alice rocked her, but she gave me a chance to sit down on the couch with Rosalie. I tightly shut my eyes wishing and praying that someone would be able to get her to go to sleep. But, even with Alice's magic touch, she continued to wail and I just got more upset.

"My turn." Rosalie said as she stood up and grabbed Paige from Alice's arms. Alice took her place next to me on the couch and grabbed my hand, tightly squeezing it. I hated that Edward had to be at this conference all day because I thoroughly looked forward to the weekends so I could get his help all day.

Eventually, Paige's screams died down to a soft cry and finally she was quiet. For a second I panicked, thinking something was wrong with her until I realized she'd fallen asleep in Rosalie's arms.

"How did you..." I trailed off as Rosalie put her down in the bassinet we kept downstairs.

"I think she just exhausted herself." Rosalie whispered as she came and sat down on the other side. "Have you considered taking her to the doctor?"

"Babies cry." I shrugged. "Does she need to see a doctor?"

"She might be colic." Alice suggested. "My Mom told me that I cried nonstop for weeks after I was born, and I eventually just stopped."

"What if I'm just a terrible mom this time?" I asked, my eyes welling with tears again. "What if I just don't know what to do with my baby?"

"Bella, if you were a terrible Mom you wouldn't have asked for help." Rosalie whispered. "You're a great Mom and you're doing a great job with Paige."

"I just feel like a failure." I admitted.

"You're not." Alice assured me, giving my hand another squeeze. "Ava was just extremely chill as a baby." She laughed. "A new baby means new everything."

The three of us just sat on the couch, without moving, until Edward came home. The garage door thankfully didn't wake Paige up and when he saw us, he told me he'd order pizza for us. Once Paige woke up demanding our attention again, I fed her and Edward took her for the rest. Alice and Rosalie stayed over for a while, but they both had responsibilities and had to leave once they finished eating.

"How was she today?" He asked as he pressed his forehead to mine after she'd fallen asleep again. Of course she was a perfect angel for him.

"She cried all day, Edward." I sighed as he wrapped his arms around me. "She didn't stop and I had to call my friends to calm her down. I'm her mother and I couldn't get her to stop."

"Hey, she's a crier." He said, rubbing my back. "You're not doing anything wrong."

"That's what everyone keeps saying." I told him as the doorbell rang. I looked at the clock and knew it wasn't going to be Emmett or Jasper since their wives had just left. I let go of Edward to answer the door and had to stop from slamming the door in Jake's face when I saw him standing on the porch.

"What?" I snapped. I was not in the mood to deal with him.

"Is Ava here?" He asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. He looked sadder than normal, but I was just too exhausted to even pretend to care.

"No, she's with my parents." I told him. "What are you even doing here? I told you not to come..."

"Bree ended it with me." He barked. "There isn't anymore filth in my life anymore." He rolled his eyes. Ava had probably gotten that from me and then told him that when she was pissed off at him. "I miss her, Bells. Please have her call me."

"My Dad should be bringing her home soon." I sighed, finding a soft spot for the guy. "You can wait for her on the porch if you want." I told him and shut the door in his face. I just didn't want to deal with him, especially not after the day I'd had.

Edward carried Paige upstairs and put her in the bassinet in our bedroom, and I stayed downstairs to get the pizza put away and the kitchen cleaned up. If there was one thing I didn't have time for, it was messes. It was very impressive how many things one little baby could throw up on in a day, and I refused to gal behind one chores.

"Go away, Dad!" Ava screamed as she stormed through the house. I set the towel I was using down on the counter and went into the living room to see what was happening. Jake had stopped the door from shutting and was standing in the foyer.

"Ava, please." He pleaded.

"No!" She barked. "I'm done getting hurt, Dad. I deserve better than you and I'm not going to keep waiting for you on the front steps."

"I'm sorry, I know I haven't been the greatest..." He was cut off.

"Dad, I have no idea what happened when I was seven and you have to 'go into a permanent time out' but, I don't like what you've become since." She cried as Edward came downstairs. "And I don't want to see you again."

"Ava!" Jake called as she pushed past Edward and ran upstairs. I only prayed Paige wouldn't wake up when she slammed her bedroom door shut.

"Jake," I started before he cut me off.

"Congratulations." He sneared. "You won."


	3. Repress It

**Chapter Three: Repress It**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

Six months had passed since Paige was born and things were slowly starting to calm down. Like Alice had predicted, Paige's doctor told us she was a colic baby, but it would eventually pass. It was heartbreaking to hear her cry and know there wasn't really anything we could do to stop her, but we just had to let it pass.

After two months, it eventually did pass and everyone was much happier around the house. She was also starting to sleep for longer spurts at night, which meant everyone was a little less exhausted in the morning. School had ended and I only had one more week of going to work before I could be home and help Bella for the entire summer. It was hard to believe that Ava had turned fourteen in April and that she was starting the eighth grade in the fall.

But, although some time had passed and she'd had time to cool off, Ava still didn't want anything to do with Jake. He kept calling and showing up, but she ignored her every time. At first, Bella had tried talking to her about it but she eventually gave up. Ava was stubborn just like her Mom and she would let him back in her life when she was ready. Jake deserved it though. I always thought he got more credit than he deserved when it came to Ava, even when he barely did anything to help take care of her.

"I can't wait to have you all to myself this summer." Bella smiled as she came downstairs with Paige. Ava was still upstairs sleeping, and it was slowly hitting Bella and I that we had a teenager in the house. I reached out and took Paige from Bella's arms and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"You and me both." I smiled as looked down at Paige's beautiful blue eyes. She got those eyes from my Dad, but everything else about her was Bella. "What about you? Are you excited to have some extra time with Daddy?" She just smiled and grabbed my nose.

"I think that's a yes." Bella laughed as I handed her back and ate my breakfast. Once I was finished, I wrote Ava a note reminding her that we were going on an adventure once I was home and gave Bella and Paige a kiss.

The days without kids to teach seemed to always drag on twice as long as regular days, and I was just glad this was our last day. I knew most people didn't get the summers off, but I was sure glad I did because I just wanted to spend as much time with my family as I could.

When I got home, Paige was napping and Ava was all ready for our afternoon adventure. She'd been telling Bella and I that she wanted to get involved with sports, but she just didn't know which she would life best. So, I took her out to one of the high school fields that was empty and let her try out a bunch. We played some soccer, softball, and tennis and it was really fun to just run around and let her experiment.

"Definitely not softball." She laughed as we packed up our things. "I like soccer, but I don't think I could keep up."

'You'd get faster with practice." I shrugged, zipping the duffle bag and slinging it over my shoulder. I looked up towards the parking lot and pressed my lips together when I saw Jake standing there, his arms crossed. "Ava, why don't you go wait in the car."

"Okay." She nodded, walking right past Jake without saying a word.

"What?" I asked, setting the bag on the ground.

"You aren't her father, so stop acting like it." He snapped, gradually getting closer to me.

"Really?" I asked defensively. I was more of a father to her than he ever was. "Because who's the one that's actually there, Jake?"

"Just because you live with her doesn't mean anything."

"I don't just mean being there physically." I rolled my eyes. "I've been there through everything and you're only there when it's convenient for you."

"Stay away from my kid." He threatened.

"I'm her legal guardian, Jacob." I reminded him. "Just back off, okay?" I told him and pushed passed to get to the car. Ava didn't say anything as we made our way home, and I just hated that Jake had the power to make her so miserable, even after having a fun afternoon. When we got home, she walked right upstairs without even saying hello to her sister or Bella.

"What's up?" Bella asked as she pressed her lips to mine.

"Please tell me your making pork chops?" I asked when I saw the grill was turned on, just wanting to avoid this conversation. She was going to get upset and there was no need for her to get upset.

"Well, you're grilling them." She laughed. "But, yes we're having pork chops and green beans." She told me. "But, you didn't exactly answer my question."

"Jake showed up." I shrugged, reaching over and swiping a tomato that she was putting in the salad. "And he got all defensive, telling me she was his daughter and blah blah blah."

"He's never going to get it, is he?" She asked, pouring italian dressing on the salad. "He's never going to get that it takes a lot more than sperm to make someone a Dad."

"He's not going to get it anytime soon." I sighed. "Where's Paige?" I asked.

"Playing in the living room." She told me. "She was getting fussy in her seat, so I just gated her in." I got up and went over to the living room, my mood immediately improving when I saw her chewing on one of her toys. I stepped over the gate and went over to sit with her.

This little girl always knew how to make me feel better.

After having some time to herself, Ava came downstairs in a good mood and we were able to have a pleasant family meal together. After we were finished, I offered to do the dishes even though it was Ava's night so she could talk to her Mom. I knew she loved me and trusted me with everything, but the bond they had was much different and after every time Jake did something, she always needed to talk with Bella.

* * *

"Happy birthday to you!" Everyone sang as the candles burned on top of my cake. I insisted that I didn't need a party since I'd already have thirty-one, but Bella insisted even harder than I did need one. But, if there was an excuse to eat one of her delicious cakes, I wasn't going to argue. I closed my eyes, made my wish, and blew out the candles.

"Happy birthday, babe." Bella smiled as she sat down next to me. I turned to meet her gaze and leaned in to gently kiss her. "I love you."

"I love you," I whispered, giving her another kiss as Alice gave me the first piece of cake. I looked around at all the people who had come to the party Bella had planned and realized how damn lucky I really was. When I graduated college, I thought I had everything planned out. Even before I'd met Bella and was still with Tanya, I never imagined this would be my life.

Once everyone had enjoyed their cake, everyone had started saying goodbye except for our family and close friends. I tried to help clean everything up, but it was useless with Renee shooing me away. I took Paige from Charlie and brought her to sit with me on the couch. I sat and played peek-a-boo for a while before Bella and Renee came in for me to open presents.

"I'll take her." Jasper offered, reaching his hands out for Paige as Bella sat down next to me with a present in her hands. I kissed Paige's cheek and handed her to Jasper and took the box from Bella.

"Awe, thank you." I smiled when I unwrapped the beautiful silver watch. I gently removed it from the box and tried it on, and it looked awesome.

"It was time for a new one." She laughed. The watch I had was starting to fall apart since it had been a graduation present from my parents when I graduated Boston U. "Look on the inside."

"Okay," I smiled, removing the watch and flipping it upside down. Our anniversary and Paige's birthday were neatly inscribed on the metal. "The three most important dates of my life."

"I thought it was appropriate." She smiled as I leaned in and gently kissed her. I told everyone not to go overboard with presents, and Bella respected that. She'd gotten me a few more small things that I desperately needed, but she kept it simple.

"Happy birthday, Edward." Ava smiled as she handed me a bigger box wrapped in paper. I carefully unwrapped it and bit my lip when I saw what she'd given me.

"Ava, this is beautiful." I told her. She had made me a scrapbook full of pictures from when she was little, up until now. She had taken a lot of time to put this together, and it was probably my favorite gift of all time. "Thank you so much, sweetie."

"I wanted you to have something special." She shrugged. "And Mom said she had too many pictures printed and didn't know what to do with all of them." I stood up and tightly hugged her. I just wanted to know how much I loved her, and I think she knew it. After all the presents were opened, Bella went upstairs to put Paige to bed and Rosalie got up to leave with Hunter.

"You stay." She smiled at Emmett when he stood up and grabbed the diaper bag. "It's your best friends birthday, live a little."

"You sure?" He asked hesitantly as she took the bag from.

"Definitely." She smiled, leaning in and gently kissing him. "Jazz, you good to drive him home?"

"I don't know," He laughed. "It's just so far out of the way."

"Great, thanks." Rosalie called as she opened the front door. Charlie and Renee left shortly after, leaving just the five of us. Ava left the room to go upstairs and read, giving us the freedom to talk about whatever we wanted. It wasn't like we had filthy mouths or anything, but it was sometimes to not watch what we had to say.

"Finally," Bella sighed as she sat down on the couch next to me. "Hey, have you talked to your Dad recently?" She asked. Dad had been avoiding all the FaceTime conversations we had with my Mom, and he only ever talked to us if we called him on the phone.

"Yeah, he called me this morning." I told her. I wished they had been able to come out for my birthday, but they were saving their vacations for Thanksgiving so they could have plenty of time. "But he refused to get on the screen with Paige and I this afternoon when Mom FaceTimed."

"I wonder why he's been acting so weird." Bella wondered as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

"Maybe he's going bald and he doesn't want anyone to know." Emmett suggested.

"I'm sure you're right, Em." I laughed, rolling my eyes. It was good to know that even though we were getting older, Emmett would never really grow up. After another hour, it was time for everyone to get going. Once they were all gone, Bella made sure Ava was getting ready for bed and checked on Paige. She typically didn't need fed during the night anymore and it allowed Bella and I to get good sleep at night.

"Did you have a good birthday?" Bella called from the bathroom as I pulled down the covers on our bed.

"I always have a good birthday when your Dad grills." I laughed, pulling my shirt over my head. As I was pulling my shorts down to change into PJs, the bathroom door opened and I gulped when I saw what Bella was wearing. "Fuck," I whispered. She was wearing a short, black baby doll nightgown that hugged her curves.

"What?" She asked, trying to sound innocent. Bella and I hadn't had sex in months, ever since she'd gotten 'too big' during her pregnancy she told me she didn't feel sexy enough. She was obviously over that.

"Happy birthday to me." I gulped as she walked over to me and pushed me down on our bed. I crawled back and she came and laid on top of me. She straddled my hips and started gently grinding over my already hard member. I was only in my boxers at this point, so there wasn't anything to cover up.

I wrapped my hand around her neck and brought her down and forcefully pressed my lips against hers. She moaned in my mouth, and started breathing heavily. I grabbed her hips and flipped us over so that I was on top, and she wrapped his legs around my hips in return.

"Shit," She moaned as I pushed up against her. I moved my lips down her chin and to her neck, knowing just what it would do to her. She whimpered as I pepper her neck with kisses and moved my hand to squeeze her breast through the fabric.

"You have no idea how much I want you right now." I told her darkly. I pulled the straps down off her shoulders, leaving her completely bare up top. I licked my lips in anticipation and then gently bit down on one of her nipples while I rolled the other through my fingers. She was squirming beneath me and if she kept it up, this wouldn't last very long at all. She used her feet to push my boxers down, leaving me exposed as I pulled her lingerie down all the way.

"Please," She begged as I continued to tease her. "Please, Edward."

"What, Bella?" I asked as I kissed her stomach, right above her belly button.

"Don't..." She gasped. "Don't tease."

"I guess I can do that." I whispered as I pushed inside her. "Fuck." I groaned as I stilled inside of her, giving both of us a second to adjust. I started moving and she clawed at my bare back with her fingernails.

"Fuck, yes!" She cried as she hitched one leg over my hip, opening herself up more. I brought my finger down and started playing with her very sensitive nub. "Yes, harder. Please." She panted.

"Bella," I hissed as I pounded into her. I could feel her tighten around me as she screamed in pleasure. I was right behind her and sagged into the mattress. "Damn, baby." I laughed as she grabbed some tissues to clean herself up. She came and snuggled up against my side, breathing heavily.

"I missed that." She whispered. "Happy birthday, Edward."

The next morning, we were awoken by a loud ringing noise that was not our usual alarm. I groaned and turned to look at the clock. Freaking six o'clock. Paige wouldn't be up for another hour and the two of us counted on those extra sixty minutes. I finally realized where the noise was coming from, and grabbed my phone from the bedside table.

"Hello?" I asked, my voice heavy with sleep.

"Edward." My Mom whispered and that woke me up a little bit. "You need to come home."

"I am home, Mom." I reminded her as I sat up in bed. "I'm laying in bed with my wife, waiting for my six month old to start crying so I can get her from her nursery."

"You need to come to Chicago." She said and it sounded like she was crying.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked. "You're scaring me." This was not an invitation for a vacation back home.

"You're father is sick, Edward." She told me and my heart stopped. "You need to come home."

"Mom..." I started but the line went dead. Bella had pulled one of my tshirts on and sat back down next to me.

"Edward?" She asked as I got out of bed and pulled a clean pair of boxers on and dug in the drawers for some clean clothes. "What's going on?"

"I need a duffle bag." I told her. "Where do we keep those?"

"The attic." She answered. "Edward!" She hollered. "Tell me what's happening."

"My Dad..." I trailed off. "He's sick and my Mom needs me to go to Chicago immediately."

"Whoa, hold on." She said, standing up and walking over to where I was standing. "What is he sick with?"

"She didn't say anything or give any details." I shook my head. "All I know is he's sick and it's urgent because my Mom knows that our schedule is packed tight and we can't go visit them."

"What can I do?" She asked as she went into our bathroom and got my shampoo and other things.

"Just..." I stopped. "Why do things like this keep happening on my birthday? I mean your Dad was actually shot on my birthday and now this?"

"Maybe your cursed." She shrugged, trying to make light of the situation. "It's just weird timing, babe."

"I wish you could come with me." I whispered as I pulled her into a tight hug. "I gotta go find a flight."

"Edward?" She asked softly when I turned to leave. "I love you." She whispered as she walked over and pressed her lips on mine. I bit my lip to try and keep from crying and headed downstairs to the small office to book a flight. Miraculously, I was able to get a flight for this afternoon, even though I had two layovers. It didn't matter. I just needed to get to Chicago.

I called Charlie and told him what was going on. He was kind enough to offer me a ride so we wouldn't have to get a sitter for Paige, because I just wasn't ready to tell my friends what was going on. I didn't even really know what was happening and I wouldn't know until I got to Chicago. Bella helped me pack for a week, because thats all the time I could be away from my family for. I knew my parents needed me, but so did Paige and I wasn't going to leave her for longer than a week.

Charlie picked me up two and a half hours before my flight to allow some time for traffic and the lengthy security line. I kissed Bella goodbye and finally let the tears go. I didn't know exactly what was happening, but I knew it was bad and I didn't know if I could actually handle what was going on.

"Call me when you get there." Bella sighed as I pressed my forehead to hers. "And give your Mom and Dad a hug for me."

"I will," I nodded, kissing her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too." She cried as I opened the passenger side door.


	4. Shadows on Your Face

**Chapter Four: Shadows on Your Face**

* * *

 **Bella's POV**

"I love you too." I cried as Edward got into my Dad's car. This weeks would be the longest time we'd be away from each other, and the first time he'd be away from Paige. I wished I could drop everything and be with him because I know how much he needed it, but it would be impossible to get Paige and Ava on a plane to Chicago.

Plus, I was sure this was not the time or place for the grandkids to be around.

I went back inside and started doing anything that would keep me busy. I finished the laundry and folded it, cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms, and even cleaned up Ava's room. But, all of that only took an hour and a half and I didn't know what else to do to occupy myself. I didn't even feel like I could call Alice or Rosalie because I knew I'd end up breaking and Edward had to tell them when he got back.

So, once Paige was up from her nap, I sat on the floor and played with her. I couldn't help myself from smiling as I saw her shove one of her toys in her mouth. She was just so sweet and innocent and good. She had no idea what was happening and I almost envied her for that.

Once Ava came home from Jason's house, I left her to entertain her sister while I got dinner ready. I was not in the mood to cook anything, so I kept it simple. Just as I was putting the noodles in the boiling water, there was a loud knock on the door. I went to the foyer and looked out the window, and saw Alice practically jumping up and down on the porch.

"Alice?" I asked. "What's up?"

"I'm pregnant." She screamed and my eyes bugged out of my head. I knew how much she wanted a child, especially after Rosalie had Hunter, but I had no idea if they were even trying to get pregnant. I started screaming with her and hugged her tightly. It had been such an emotional day, I wasn't sure if the tears were for joy or sadness, but I didn't care.

One of my best friends in the entire world was pregnant.

"How far along are you?" I asked as we sat down at the kitchen table.

"The doctor said about three months." She sniffed. "I...I haven't told Jasper yet."

"Why not?" I asked as Ava came into the kitchen and sat next to me. I got up and made sure the baby gate was up and then stirred the noodles in the pot.

"We haven't talked about kids yet." She shrugged. "An I'm not exactly how excited he's going to be." So this wasn't a planned pregnancy.

"Alice, he loves you." I reminded her as I put the hamburger meet in a pan to start cooking. "He's going to be thrilled. You've seen how he is when he's around Paige or Hunter."

"Last night he told me he loved those babies, but..." She trailed off. "He wasn't sure if he wanted to do the whole father thing."

"You didn't talk about this before you got married?" I asked. It was one of the first things Edward and I discussed when we got engaged, even though I knew he wanted kids as much as I did.

"Briefly." She explained. "I think after seeing everyone with their kids he changed his mind. Bella, what am I going to do?"

"You gotta tell him, Alice." I whispered, sitting back down. "Trust me..." I stopped, looking over at Ava. "Even the people you never think want kids...want their own. And Jasper isn't like most people." I reminded her, referring back to Jake. He loved his kid but he wasn't a good Dad at all. It was obvious he didn't exactly want her, but it thankfully wasn't obvious to her yet.

"He won't leave me, will he?" she asked and I was surprised that she would even think that he'd leave her over a baby.

"He loves you, Alice." Ava spoke up like it was so simple. "It so obvious."

"You think?" Alice laughed.

"Totally." Ava nodded. "I mean, why else would he always be staring at you."

"Good point, Ava." I smiled, looking up at Alice and nodding. Jasper wanted this, he just wasn't one hundred percent sure. And, he loved her so much. I knew that he was going to love that baby just because the two of them had made him.

"Bella, where's Edward?" Alice asked as I put Paige in her high chair and Ava set the table for us. Alice told me she just needed a little big longer to process everything, and I told her to stay for dinner and get her mind off of it.

"He," I trailed off. I knew I couldn't say anything about Carlisle, but I knew she'd be suspicious if Edward had just disappeared to Chicago for the week. "He went to go see his parents for the week."

"He left you alone with the baby?" She asked, sounding disappointed in him or something.

"I told him to go." I shrugged. "He really missed them on his birthday and I told him I'd be fine for a few days. Trust me, he fought me a bunch on it."

"You're a much better wife than I am." She laughed as she grabbed her bag from the chest in the foyer.

"Alice, go home and tell your husband that he's going to be a daddy." I shook my head, practically forcing her out the door. I hated that I couldn't be fully excited for her as they started a new adventure, but I didn't know how to be excited while my father-in-law was so sick Edward needed to go out and see him.

After cleaning up the dinner dishes, I went upstairs with Paige to get her ready for bed. I filled up her little tub with warm water and got her undressed while Ava assisted me in getting her toys in the tub. I took my time with her, in no rush to get her to bed. I knew I shouldn't have been messing with her schedule, but I just needed to be close to her tonight. When she finally started getting fussy, I pulled her out of the tub and went into her nursery to get her in a diaper and PJs.

Once she was dressed, I sat down in the rocker with her and held her close as I rocked us back and forth. I sang softly to her until her breathing was steady, but I just continued to sit with her. Once I felt my eyes getting heavy, I stood up and gently placed her in the crib. I kissed her forehead and turned on the baby monitor before turning her light off and leaving the nursery.

I checked my phone to make sure Edward hadn't contacted me, but there still wasn't anything. All there was to do now was wait, and I wasn't going to bug him or Esme. I knew he'd call me when he was ready, and I knew that he'd gotten to his parents house safely. I went downstairs and tidied up the living room and plopped down on the couch, turing on the TV but not paying attention at all.

"Mom?" Ava asked softly as she stood on the stairs.

"Yeah, kiddo?" I asked since she had said goodnight to be a while ago. I knew she wasn't asleep yet since it was still early, but she was like me and liked to read for a few hours before turning her light off.

"Why did Edward really go to Chicago?" She whispered, sitting down next to me. She really was too smart for her own good, and it was kind of strange how intuitive she was about things.

"It's nothing you need to worry about." I shook my head. I didn't want her to worry about Carlisle just yet.

"I'm a big girl, Mom." She sighed. "I can handle it."

"Really, Ava, I'll tell you when you need to know." I explained. "And I know you're way too smart for your age, but this is just something I know a little more about."

"We were supposed to go to the soccer field tomorrow." She told me, looking down at her hands.

She felt abandoned.

"Oh, Ava." I whispered, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. "You'll go to the soccer field when he gets back." I promised. "Everything just happened so fast."

"I know," She nodded. There wasn't anything she could do to make the feeling of abandonment go away. Jake had actually broken her for real this time and I could feel my blood broiling.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get some sleep." I kissed her cheek. "And maybe Pap will take you to play soccer. Or, you could ask Emmett, I know he's itching to teach Hunter how to play sports and that's still a ways away."

"Okay," She nodded, giving me a tight hug and going upstairs. Once I heard her door shut, I got my phone out to call Emmett to see if he could come over to watch the girls for a bit. Thankfully, he agreed and he was at our house in no time. I promised him everything was fine with Edward and myself and that I'd be back shortly.

I made my way to the dingy apartment building and pulled into the lot. I just hoped he'd let me inside without asking who it was. The two of us were not on good terms, as usual, but it was getting worse as Ava got older. Just like always, he didn't bother asking who it was and buzzed me inside. When I got to the door, I contemplated just going home and saving my breath, but I was already here and I was going to let him have it.

"What?" He sighed, sounding super annoyed.

"You told me the day she was born that you'd fight for her after I told you, you wouldn't be apart of her life." I said. "And...for a while you fought hard for her even though you had no chances of winning."

"Bella," He rolled his eyes.

"No, you need to hear this." I cut him off. "And when we went to court when she was eight, you told the judge if she took Ava way from you, you'd never recover and that she was your entire world."

"Why are you here?" He sighed.

"Because, Edward had to go to Chicago for an emergency this afternoon and..." I trailed off. "And she feels abandoned by him because he promised to take her to the soccer filed tomorrow and practice. She knows he's coming back and that they'll do that together when he comes back, but because of you she doesn't think it's going to happen." I explained.

"That..."

"You recovered just fine, Jake." I told him, not caring what he had to say. "But in doing so, you've broken your daughter. And you only have yourself to blame for that."

"What do you want me to say, Bella?" He asked, crossing his arms. "You're the one who took me to court to get full custody. You ensured that I wouldn't get to see her for at least a year, and that I'd only get supervised visits."

"You did that to yourself." I reminded him. " _You_ punched me. _You_ beat Edward up. _You_ got a girlfriend who became more important than Ava." I told him. "I just thought you'd like to know how your daughter is doing after everything that you've done."

"I messed up, Bella." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I wasn't ready to be a dad...I didn't know how to be a dad."

"I wasn't ready to be a mom." I shook my head. "I wasn't ready to be responsible for another human being, but I figured it out. And, by the way, dad or not...you should have enough decentcy to not go around beating up complete strangers."

"I've worked through that,"

"I know, and I'm actually kind of proud of you for going to therapy and working your anger issues." I told him. "But, it doesn't change what happened, Jake. Nothing will." I turned to walk away and ignored his calls. I didn't have anymore strength in me to keep fighting him.

When I got home, I sat in the car for a few minutes, composing myself. I didn't need Emmett asking twenty questions when I got in. Once I'd had time to cool off, I grabbed the plastic bags from the backseat so I would be able to tell him I needed to go out for emergency baby food. I set the bags on the counter, and went to go find him. He was sitting on the couch, his head slumped against the back with the game highlights on the TV.

"Emmett," I whispered, shaking him so he'd wake up. "I'm back, you can go home."

"Oh, hey." He said tiredly, wiping his eyes and sitting up. "You okay?"

'Yeah, I just needed to get some mergence baby food." I explained, sitting down next to him.

"Where's Edward?" He asked.

"I surprised him with a trip to see his folks." I told him. "For his birthday."

"Wow, Rose would never have let me go visit my folks while Hunter was still so young." He laughed, standing up and grabbing his phone off the table. I looked at the time on the DVD player, and couldn't help but laugh. It was only 9:45, and he was already passed out.

It's funny what having kids will do to you.

"You sure you're okay?" He asked as he stood on the porch.

"Yeah," I nodded because I knew he wasn't asking about being home with the girls by myself while Edward was away. "It's just been a tough few days."

"Come here." He laughed, pulling me into one of his signature bear hugs. I loved that I had this kind of a relationship with Rosalie and Alice's husbands. I never imagined that I'd be able to call one of them to come over to babysit while I just bolted to deal with Jake. And I never imagined being so close to them that they just constantly gave me great hugs.

"I'll probably see you tomorrow." I told him. "Rose wants to look into getting a new bed."

"I'm glad someone told me." He laughed as he pulled his keys out of his pockets and headed towards his car. I watched as he drove off, and shut the door, excited for this day to be over and just go to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up to a text from Alice saying that Jasper had taken the news quite well and that she had been overthinking everything. I also woke up to three missed calls from Edward and I knew I shouldn't have gone to bed as early as I did. I took a few more minutes to wake up before calling him back, and I just prayed he was able to answer since it was already 9:00 there.

"Bella?" He answered on the first ring, sounding tired and broken. "I should have known you were asleep when I called I just..."

"Shhhh," I whispered. "It's fine. I should have stayed up and waited for you to call." I told him. "What's up, Edward?"

"It's bad, Bella." He sniffled. I only wanted to be there with him to hold him and protect him from what was happening, and I hated that I couldn't be there. "He's so sick."

"What is it?" I asked.

"He has..." He trailed off and I could hear him taking a deep breath. "Bells, he has pancreatic cancer."

"No," I argued. "How...bad is it?"

"Stage four," He gulped. No matter what kind of cancer it is, stage four is never a good thing and I couldn't help myself when I started to cry.

"Are they going to operate?" I asked, trying to keep it together.

"They can't." He told me. "It's already spread to his liver and part of the lungs." He told me. "It's just spread too much."

"So, what are his options?" I asked.

"They can try chemo." He whispered. "The doctors said that he," He trailed off to take another big breath. "They said that with how far the cancer has progressed, he only has a one percent chance at surviving this. They gave him two years at the most, but that was being generous."

"How long have they known?" I asked, finally understanding why Carlisle hadn't been wanting to FaceTime and when they didn't make an effort to come for Edward's birthday. They always at least tried and the succeed to come in June.

"They've known for a few months." He explained. "Right after Paige was born, Mom said that he looked yellow and so they went into the doctor." He told me. I heard Paige screaming and tightly shut my eyes, wishing that the world would just stand still for a few minutes.

"Paige is awake." I told him as tears streamed down my cheek. I couldn't help myself. Knowing Edward was hurting was enough to set me off, but I loved Carlisle like my own Dad. I never seemed to matter that we only saw them during the holidays, but I'd grown close to them. His parents were some of the only few who didn't judge me for getting pregnant so young.

"I'll be home in a few days." He told me. "Probably Friday if I can get a flight."

"Okay," I nodded.

"I love you." He cried, and the the phone went dead. I tried to compose myself, but it was pointless and I ended up just getting Paige while I was still an obvious mess. She could obviously tell something was wrong, but once I gave her her bottle, she calmed down and drank earnestly.

"Mom?" Ava asked as she sat down at the kitchen table with me. I looked at the clock and saw that it was still pretty early, and wondered what she was doing up. "Paige woke me up and I couldn't fall back asleep."

"Sorry, sweetie." I shrugged, pushing her hair out of her face.

"It's okay." She shrugged. "Have you been crying?"

"Ava, there's something you should know." I whispered.


	5. Sleepless Roads

**Chapter Five: Sleepless Roads**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

"Two years?" I asked the doctor as we stood by my Dad's hospital bed. He was fast asleep due to the amount of medications they had him on, and he'd never looked so small before.

"And, unfortunately, that's being quite generous." He told us sadly. "I'm sorry, but by the time we caught the cancer, it was too late. It had spread too much."

"Have you done anything?" I asked, trying not to sound too harsh.

"We've been doing everything we can." He told us. "When we went in to see the damage up close, it had already spread to his liver and part of his lungs. All we can do now is chemotherapy to buy him a little bit more time."

"Thanks, Dr. Leary." I whispered, turning back to my Dad. It was so strange, seeing him so helpless. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked once the door was shut and it was just Mom and I.

"We didn't want to worry you," She whispered. "You'd just had Paige and I knew how crazy things were."

"I still deserved to know." I told her, turning to look at her. "I would have been here..."

"Edward, there wasn't anything you could have done." She told me, and I knew she was right, but I still would have been there to talk to him during chemo and help him around the house. "He's sick and being here isn't going to change that."

"This is so unreal." I cried, wiping the tear that had finally fallen. I knew if I started, I would never be able to stop. "I mean, he's doctor. How did he not know to checked sooner?"

"He explained to me that this is one of the tougher cancers to catch." Mom explained, sitting down and grabbing Dad's hand. "Most of the time, you don't start showing symptoms until the cancer has spread."

"I should call Bella." I sighed, looking down at my watch and realizing she'd be awake to feed Paige by now. I gave my Mom's shoulder a squeeze before grabbing my phone off the table and leaving the room. But, before I could dial her number, my phone started ringing and I sighed in relief when I saw her name pop up.

"Bella?" I asked when I answered the phone. I tried getting ahold of her last night after I'd spent the day with my Dad, but she was already in bed by the time I called. "I should have known you were asleep when I called I just..."

"Shhhh," She whispered. "It's fine. I should have stayed up and waited for you to call. What's up, Edward?"

"It's bad, Bella." I sniffed, wiping another tear that was streaming down my cheek. I turned and looked through the small window in the door, and got choked up. My Mom was just sitting with him, holding his hand. I just wished I could have brought Bella with me. "He's so sick."

"What is it?" She asked as I turned back around and leaned up against the wall.

"He has..." I trailed off and took a deep breath. "Bells, he has pancreatic cancer." It was the first time I'd said those words since getting here yesterday.

"No," She cried. I knew how much this would hurt her since my Dad was almost as close to her as Charlie was. "How...bad is it?"

"Stage four," I gulped, letting the tears fall freely at this point. I could hear her quietly cry on the other side, and I just wanted to hold her.

"Are they going to operate?"

"They can't." I told her. "It's already spread to his liver and part of the lungs." I explained. "It's just spread too much."

"So, what are his options?" She asked as I started playing with my wedding band like I always did when I was nervous.

"They can try chemo." I whispered. "The doctors said that he," I trailed off, trying to find the words. "They said that with how far the cancer has progressed, he only has a one percent chance at surviving this. They gave him two years at the most, but that was being generous."

"How long have they known?" She asked and it was hard to tell her since I hadn't quite come to terms with the fact that all the errands Dad was running were doctors appointments and that this was the reason he never wanted to FaceTime anymore.

"They've known for a few months." I explained. "Right after Paige was born, Mom said that he looked yellow and so they went into the doctor." He told me, and I could hear Paige's faint cry's over the phone.

"Paige is awake." She whispered.

"I'll be home in a few days." I sighed, just wanting to go home and hug my wife and girls. "Probably Friday if I can get a flight."

"Okay,"

"I love you." I cried, pressing the end button.

"Edward?" Mom's soft voice ask as she popped her head out of the door. I turned to face her, and she had the smallest smile on her face. "He's awake and he's asking for you." I nodded and followed her into the room. My Dad's eyes were open, and I could tell he was looking around, but he still looked so small.

"Dad?" I asked, swallowing hard.

"Hey, kid." He greeted like he did back when I was in high school. "Bella and the kids here?"

"No, just me." I told him. "Dad, why didn't you tell me?"

"You just had a baby," He argued just like Mom had. "I didn't want to worry you unless I had to."

"I could have been here." I told him, just like I'd told Mom. "I could have done something..."

"There wasn't anything you, or anyone, could have done." He whispered. "Edward, I was too sick to begin with. The likelihood of me surviving this at the stage they found it..."

"Don't." I snapped. "You're the man, you're supposed to be strong and you're supposed to be there. You can't just..." I trailed off. "You should have told me the second you found out."

"Well, I'm sorry that I didn't." He nodded, knowing that there wasn't anything he could say to make me feel better about the situation. "But, I'm glad you're here now."

I drove my Mom and I back to their house and for the first time, it didn't feel like a home. My room was still set up just like I had left it, even my graduation program still lay on my desk. As I was unpacking the little I brought with me, my phone began buzzing.

"Jasper?" I asked as I answered the phone.

"She's pregnant." He said happily. "Alice is pregnant, Edward."

"That's...great." I sighed, trying my best to sound excited. At least there was still some good in the world. "Do you know how far along?"

"She told me she's about three months." He explained. "I'm gonna be a dad."

"Last one married, last one to start his family." I laughed.

"Hey, I would have been the second one married if Emmett hadn't decided to fucking elope."

"Very true." I sighed, wanting to hang up the phone to have some peace and quiet. But, my best friend was having the best day of his life while I was having the worst day of mine. The world was cruel sometimes. "Look, I'm really happy for you but I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, what are you doing in Chicago anyway?"

"Things are..." I stopped, not ready to tell him yet. "Mom's just really lonely lately with me gone and Dad working a lot at the practice."

"Bella let you go?" He asked. "Alice would probably murder me if I left her for the week for vacation."

"Trust me," I whispered. "This isn't vacation."

"Okay, well, I just wanted to tell you the good news." He said. "Give your Mom a kiss for me."

"I will, Jazz." I nodded, hanging up the phone.

It was one of the worst weeks of my life. Mom had told me she rushed him to the hospital that night because he was in unbearable pain because he couldn't breathe. That's when they found out the cancer had spread to his lungs. My Dad was slowly dying and there wasn't anything anyone could do but wait. Wait for him to get so sick that he needed to be put on machines or wait for him to pass in his sleep.

There wasn't one good outcome, and that made me miserable.

When Friday came, I told him that I could push my flight to Saturday, but he reminded me of my wife and daughters. They needed me just as much as him and Mom did, and for once I felt like I was being pulled in ten different directions. When I landed, Charlie was there to pick me up and for once, I was grateful for the silence that being with Charlie allowed. When he pulled into the driveway, Jasper and Emmett's cars were both parked in the driveway and I didn't understand why Bella had told them to come over.

"Edward," She whispered as she met me at the front door.

"Why is everyone here?" I asked, trying not to have any accusation in my voice. "I'm not in the mood..."

"The Cubs-Cardinals game is on today and you guys made plans a while and I didn't want to tell them not to come." She shrugged. "I didn't want them asking questions because I just don't know any answers to tell them."

"Right. The game." I shrugged as she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck.

"Say the word and they're gone." She smiled.

"No, I need a distraction." I assured her as she opened the front door again. I set my duffel bag in the foyer and walked into the living room where Ava was on the floor playing with Paige and Jasper played with Hunter. Everyone was here, and yet, all I wanted to do was cry.

"Hey, man." Emmett called with a mouth full of pizza. "The games about to start."

"Sorry," I said softly. "Traffic." I knew they knew something was up, but I just didn't want to tell them yet. Telling them made it so much more real since they were both close with my Dad. Hell, he was the closet thing Emmett had to a Dad after everything that happened. He even taught him how to drive.

"Is everything okay?" Jasper asked during a commercial break. "You both look like you've been hit by a truck and this whole week has just been weird."

"It's fine." I lied.

"Edward," Jasper whispered. "I know you better than I know Alice." Alice nodded in agreement. "What's going on?" He asked and I looked at Bella who gave me a nod, telling me she'd support whatever I decided to tell them.

"Ava, can you take your sister upstairs and play?" I asked and being the great girl she was, immediately got up and picked Paige up.

"Do you want me to take Hunter?" She offered to Rosalie.

"I can carry him up for you." She smiled, telling us she'd be right back. When the game back on, no one bothered un-muting it and Alice eventually turned it off once Rosalie was back.

"Okay, is someone dying or something?" Emmett asked, because he didn't know. No one knew how serious the situation was. "Oh...someone is dying?"

"It's my Dad." I said softly as Bella reached over and grabbed my hand. "My Dad is really sick, and the doctors told us that he wouldn't make it more than two years if he was lucky."

"What's he sick with?" Alice eventually asked.

"Pancreatic cancer." I told them. "He's known since right after Paige was born, and he's been sick for years. It's already stage four and has spread to his liver and lungs."

"No," Emmett argued, shaking his head. I knew he'd take this harder than Jasper considering Dad was the only one who was truly there for him. As great as his grandma was, Dad did everything for him that she couldn't. Including taking on the responsibility of godfather to Hunter.

"Em," Rose whispered, gripping his hand.

"He can't die." He said, standing up. "I mean he's Carlisle, he's Da..." He stopped, taking a deep breath. "He's Dad."

"There isn't anything the doctors can do." I explained. "They can buy him a little extra time with chemo but as far as remission...it's not going to happen."

"What can we do?" Jasper spoke up.

"Nothing," I shook my head. "There isn't anything anyone can do. He's too sick."

"You're giving up?" Emmett asked. "They perform miracles all the time."

"Yes, but my Dad isn't going to be one of those cases, Emmett." I tried telling him.

"You can't give up on him." He fought.

"Emmett, please." Bella begged. "This is hard enough."

"But..."

"Emmett!" I cried. "He's too sick." and then something clicked because he just sat down next to Rosalie again and buried his face in his hands.

"Is that why you went home?" Alice asked as she rubbed Jasper's back. I nodded and stood up to follow Emmett who'd gone out to the back porch. I grabbed two beers from the fridge and walked outside to stand beside him, having him the drink.

"Thanks." He nodded as he stared out to the backyard. "He's gonna die?"

"He is." I whispered and he shook his head.

"I know that he's your biological father and I'm nothing to him but," He trailed off. "He's the closet thing I've ever had to a Dad and the only one to really fight for me."

"Yeah, I know." I nodded, gripping his shoulder. "And, Em?" I asked. "You're everything to him, just like I am. He loves you and Jasper just as much as he loves me. Probably more because when you guys became a problem, he could just send ya back home."

"True," He smiled, taking another sip of his beer.

* * *

I tried to get back to a normal life, but nothing was working. I tried to be the devoted husband who acted like nothing was wrong when the kids were around, but I just couldn't do it. Ava knew something was up, but didn't question us about it. And Paige...she was just so innocent and I envied her.

It also didn't help that all I could think about was the house that was for sale close to my parents house. I'd passed it everyday on the way to the hospital, and it kind of reminded me of our house here in Seattle. When I looked it up online, it had been on the market for so long the owners were just looking to get rid of it. They were asking for way lower than the house was worth and it was definitely in a good neighborhood with a good school district.

But, I knew we couldn't move to Chicago. Our lives were here, and so was Ava's. Everything she knew was Seattle and this small community she'd grown to love. Not only that, but Jake was here and although she wasn't speaking to him, I knew she didn't want to leave him. Bella also had a life here, and our friends were here. As much as I wanted to move, it would never be logical.

Except, it seemed like the only good thing to do.

"What are you doing?" Ava asked as she snuck up behind me while I sat on the couch. I quickly shut the laptop, hoping she didn't see what website I was one. "Are we moving?"

"No, sweetie." I smiled. "I just got curious about the house on the next street." I lied.

"Edward?" She asks softly, sitting down next to me. "I'm really sorry about your Dad."

"How did..."

"I heard you and Mom talking." She shrugged. "You know, I'm not eight anymore. I understand now that you couldn't tell me what happened to Harry, but I'm fourteen. I'm not a kid anymore and I can handle things like this."

"I think you're always going to be eight." I smiled, wrapping my arm tightly around her shoulder. "But, thanks kiddo."

"Is he going to die?" She asked, lifting her head off my shoulder and looking at me, her brown eyes filled with tears.

"Yes." I nodded. She was right. As much as Bella and I wanted her to stay little, she was growing up. She was always too smart for us, but now that she was older, she was bound to figure things out eventually. "He's very sick."

"Can't they do surgery or something?" She asked, and I understood why Bella tried to hide these things from her.

"No, baby, they can't." I told her. "He's too sick to have surgery." I explained and she started to cry. I tightly wrapped my arms around her, just wanting her pain to go away. But, as she cried in my arms, my emotions got the best of me and I started to well up with tears as well.

"Hey," Bella said gently from the archway. I took a deep breath and looked up at her, but she wasn't going to be fooled. She asked Ava to excuse us, and on her way out, gave her a big hug as well. Bella came and sat down next to me while I buried my face in my hands.

"It's okay to cry, Edward." She whispered, rubbing my back.

"I'm supposed to be strong..."

"Cut the crap." She laughed. "Crying doesn't make you weak or any less of a man." I nodded. "You told Ava, didn't you?"

"She heard us talking, and she would have figured out how sick he was sooner or later." I shrugged. "Bella?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I think we should move to Chicago." I said and she froze.


	6. From the Summer to the Spring

**Chapter Six: From the Summer to the Spring**

* * *

 **Bella's POV**

"You...what?" I asked, looking at my husband who looked like he was about to break. I understand how much he wanted to be with his Dad during his last few months, but we had kids. He had a job. We had a life here in Seattle. We couldn't just pick up and move to Chicago for a year and then come back.

"I think we should move to Chicago." He shrugged, standing up. "My Dad is sick, and I don't want my Mom to be alone during this. And I don't want to be away from him, and I definitely don't want to keep going back and forth all year."

"You have a job." I reminded him. "Ava has friends here, and so do we. And, Jake is here."

"Ava wouldn't miss Jake and you know it." He spat, and I had to take a step back.

"He's still her father, and I have to respect that."

"Fuck respecting him." He said, and for a second, I didn't even recognize the person standing in front of me. He never used language like that, especially with me. "I just mean, he's never respected you or Ava."

"I think we're done here." I nodded and started walking to the stairs, but he grabbed my hand.

"We're having this discussion." He told me and I pulled my hand back, crossing my arms over my chest. "I need to do this, Bella."

"I can't just uproot our family." I sighed. "What about work?"

"I grew up in a good neighborhood, there are plenty of good schools." He explained. "And I've been offered jobs at those schools a few times, but I always turned them down." He told me. "Ava would be going to the same middle school I went to."

"What about her friends? Our friends?" I asked. "What about my parents?"

"I think you're being kind of unfair, Bella." He sighed. "I mean, when you're Dad was shot I was there every single day to help you and when he got out of the hospital, I was there to help him. Now my Dad is the one who needs us and you're just saying no?"

"That was different." I told him. "You didn't have to move thirty hours away to help take care of my Dad." I told him.

"I need to be with my parents." He told me.

"So, you'll go without us?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips.

"Of course not." He rolled his eyes. "But...Bella, please. Ava makes friends so easily and I'm not saying we have to move their permanently. Just until my Dad...passes."

"Where are we going to live?" I asked. "What are we going to do about this house? There are a million things to think about, Edward. We can't just move on impulse."

"We can rent a house in Chicago and rent this house out." He shrugged. "This isn't some crazy scheme I've thought up in my head all of a sudden. I need this, Bella." He whispered as Paige started crying. I excused myself and went upstairs to her nursery, and smiled when I saw her peeking through her crib.

"Well, good afternoon." I cooed as I reached down and picked her up out of her crib.

"I'd be okay, Mom." Ava said as she came into the room as I laid Paige down on her changing table. "I'd make friends if we moved to be closer to Carlisle and Esme."

"Honey, it's so much more than that." I explained.

"But, I'd be okay." She said again. "If you're worried about me, don't be."

"Ava, you're Dad is here." I shrugged. Jake would kill me if I moved her thirty hours away after I spent years begging him to come to Seattle.

"You have full custody." She reminded me, and I turned to look at her. She just shrugged. "I've heard you talking about it before."

"You have pretty good hearing, Ava Jane." I sighed. Edward and I needed to start having these conversations when Ava was fast asleep. "But, you're right. I do have full custody."

"So if he has a problem, that's his fault for being a crap father."

"Ava," I whispered, pulling Paige's shorts up and picked her up again.

"Mom, this could be good for us." She told me. "I think it could be cool to move to a new city and live in a different house and make new friends."

"You really think so?" I asked, carrying Paige downstairs.

"I really do." She said. "Plus, I'd want to move close to where you were if you were sick like Carlisle."

"I had no idea you had aged ten years when you turned fourteen." I smiled, grabbing her shoulder and bringing her into a hug. "Can you keep your sister busy?"

Ava took Paige from my arms and set her down on the pink blanket before I turned to find Edward. When he wasn't in our bedroom or his office, I deiced to check outside. When I got to the glass door, he was slumped in one of the chairs with a beer in one hand and his head in the other. He looked so broken and I realized that I was the one to do that.

"Hey," I whispered as I opened the sliding door. "Can I sit?"

"Sure," He nodded without looking at me. He just kept looking forward at our small backyard, and I tightly shut my eyes, wishing I'd listened better when he was trying to talk to me.

"Do you have any plan or is this just spontaneous?" I asked. If he was going to do this, I just hoped he'd thought about it.

"I have a plan." He nodded, finally turning his head to look at me. "There's a house near my parents house that has the space we need. It's in the school district I went to, and there's a room perfect for an office or playroom." He explained "The house has been on the market for a while, so we could either buy it for a good price or talk to the owners about renting. If they don't go for renting, there are plenty of houses for rent in the next school district, which is also pretty good."

"Edward, this is just a lot."

"I'd go anywhere you go." He reminded me, making me feel extremely guilty. "I'd go to freaking England if I had to."

"I know, and I want to go, but it just..."

"He's dying, Bella!" He shouted. "It's not like he's going to get better anytime soon which would make this move a waste!"

"I know how sick he is, Edward." I whispered. "Can you show me the house?" I asked, not wanting to fight anymore.

"I have it bookmarked on my computer." He sighed, standing up and walking inside.

* * *

"Chicago?" Dad yelled. "Absolutely not."

"Dad, you don't have a say in this." I sighed. Edward had showed me all of the options he considered and the school Ava would be going to. After a lot of arguments and consideration, we decided to temporarily move to Chicago to be with his Dad.

"That's almost on the other side of the country!" Dad was not taking the news well at all.

"Dad, Carlisle is dying." I whispered. "I can't ask Edward to choose between us, and he needs to be with his Dad right now."

"But my grandkids..."

"Dad!" I exclaimed. "We're moving at the end of the month. Please don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"What do the Masen's have to say about this?" Mom asked, trying to change the subject so my Dad wouldn't have a heart attack.

"They keep saying we don't have to come out..."

"See?"

"But, I know they're excited for us to come." I told them. "I know how much they miss Edward and their grandkids when they're home, and it'll be good for Paige to get to spend some time with Carlisle before..."

"What about his job, Bells?" Dad asked calmly as he sat down at the table. "What about Jake?"

"You're worried about Jake?" I asked since Dad had wanted Jake to be as far away from us as possible since I got pregnant.

"I'm worried about the fit he's going to throw when you tell him you're taking Ava away." He said, crossing his arms. "I'm a little afraid of what he might try to do to you."

"Edward will be there when we talk." I shrugged. "And, Jake has no say in this matter. I still have full custody, so all these years he's been seeing Ava is because of my good graces."

"And Ava's okay with moving away from her Dad?" Mom asked.

"Mom, she's the one who practically talked me into going." I smiled. "I think...right now Ava is just trying to live a life where she doesn't constantly get hurt and where she isn't constantly waiting for someone." I told them. "And being away from Jake is going to give her that chance."

"I just don't want anyone getting hurt." Dad sighed, and I knew he meant physically hurt over everything.

"Please, just trust me." I pleaded. "And, the elementary school in the next district over has been offering him a job for a few years now." I explained. "The principle and Esme are good friends and I think Esme has been a big part of that."

"Is the school Ava going to good?" Mom asked.

"It's the school Edward went to." I shrugged. "It must be good." I explained. "Look, I don't expect you guys to be okay with this, but I'm just asking for a little support here. I...it's going to be hard enough to move away from here."

"Of course we'll support you." Mom whispered, reaching over and grabbing my hand. "We're just really going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too, but you get it...right?" I asked nervously.

"I know Edward would do the same for us if things were reversed." Mom smiled. "We have the rest of our lives to spend time with you, Carlisle isn't that lucky. Go, be with the Masen's, but please just don't forget about us."

"Never," I shook my head, looking over at my Dad who was looking down at his hands. "Dad?"

"I'll be in the den." He huffed, standing up and walking away. I looked over at my Mom, who gave me the ' _just give him some time_ ' face and winked. After I finished my coffee, I realized it was time to head back home since I'd left Edward alone with the girls long enough. Dad ignored me as I stood in the living room with Mom, but I knew this would be harder on him than Mom.

When I pulled into the driveway, Emmett's jeep and Jasper's truck were on the street and I knew Edward was telling them about the move. I wished we could have told all of them at the same time, but Edward said he needed to tell his friends first. When I walked inside, they were sitting around the kitchen table, just like I'd done with my parents, in silence. When I locked eyes with Edward, he gave me sad smile and I knew he'd broken the news to them.

I knew it was gong to be hard for more than just leaving my folks. My best friends were here, and so were Edward's. The six of us had managed to build a one in a million life here in Seattle, and we were ruining that. At least until Carlisle passed and Esme was back on her feet. I knew that the two of them had already followed Edward once, they weren't going to follow him again.

"It's a nice house," Jasper whispered when I sat down next to Edward. "Has Ava seen it?"

"Yep," I smiled. "She loves it already."

"Sometimes, I don't think she's a real teenager." Emmett chuckled. "She's way too level headed, especially for a girl."

"She's had to grow up a lot faster than others." Edward sighed, taking a sip of his beer.

"When are you guys moving?" Emmett asked.

"The end of July." I told him, turning to Edward. "Where are the girls?"

"Ava is with Jason and Paige went down for her nap not too long ago."

"Okay," I nodded, giving his hand a squeeze. "I'm going to go put our laundry away." I said, standing up and walking upstairs. As I was putting laundry away, I suddenly became overwhelmed with emotions, and sat down on my bed, tears streaming down my cheeks. This house had so many memories and so much love I didn't want to think of anyone else living in it while we were gone.

I didn't want to think of another couple sleeping in this bedroom and other kids playing in the backyard. I didn't want to think of the new friends who would gather in the kitchen and the babies who might take their first steps in the living room. I loved this house because Edward and I had made it into a home, and I didn't want anyone else to have that here.

"Bella?" Edward's soft voice asked as he walked into the room. "Babe, why are you crying?"

"I just really love this house." I told him honestly. "And this neighborhood, and I'm not ready to let it go." I cried. "And I get it, and I know you need to be with your Dad and I'm totally supportive of that but..."

"It's weird for me too." He whispered, pushing my hair out of my face. "I love this house, but it's time for a new adventure."

"You always say that when we move." I laughed, laying my head on his shoulder. "Are we going to come back here?"

"I hope so," He whispered, kissing the top of my head. "This house has too many memories to completely abandon it."

The next few weeks consisted of packing and labeling and taping boxes shut. It was a long process and everyone hated it. But, we tried to make the best out of it and tried to make it as fun as we could. It also helped that Alice was apparently nesting so all she wanted to do was help people and make sure they were happy, so she did a lot of the organizing for us.

With only a week left before moving, the only things that weren't packed were our bedrooms and we would do that the day before. Edward and I were driving out to Chicago with our things, and my parents were flying out with the girls once we got settled in. The thought of not being with my daughters for three days was unsettling, but Edward and I agreed it was the easiest thing to do.

"So, we wanna talk to you guys." Alice told us after we'd finished dinner on one of our last nights.

"Yeah?" I asked, standing up to clear the table.

"Jasper and I are coming with you to Chicago." She said and I almost dropped the pile of plates in my hands. I set them back on the table and sat down again. Ava took this as her queue to leave and left the grownups at the table. "We're going to be moving at the end of August."

"You're...coming to Chicago with us?" Edward asked.

"We've been talking about moving back home for a while." Jasper explained. "Since before Alice even found out she was pregnant."

"Why were you planning on moving?" I asked.

"We want our kid to know my parents," Jasper told us.

"What about your folks, Alice?" Edward questioned.

"I've never been very close with them." She shrugged. "And my parents are not the grandparent type, and I know the Whitlock's are." She told us.

"And I've really been missing home." Jasper told us, and I knew Edward was shocked. "For a long time, home was just a reminder of what Maria and I had but now...I miss it and I...we want to raise our kids their together."

"Emmett's going to be so pissed." Edward laughed. "So, once everything calms down...you're going to be staying in Chicago?"

"Yep," Alice nodded. "We found the cutest house in the school district next to the one Ava will be at. It's not much, but it looks like home."

"Plus, it's way nicer than the apartment." Jasper said. They had moved into Jasper's place once they were married since it was bigger, but I knew how much Alice wanted a house.

"What about work?" I asked.

"That's the beauty of knowing a guy with his own private practice." Jasper said, grabbing Edward's attention again. "Your Dad told me when he started the practice I could have a job there any time."

"Your'e going to work for my Dad?" Edward chuckled.

"Just until I can find something else...if I wanna find something else.

"What about you, Alice?" I asked.

"I was actually thinking of staying home with the baby once he came." She told us, placing her hand on her stomach. "I just don't like the idea of someone else raising him and I want to be there for the big moments."

"We get that." I smiled. "So...this is growing up, huh?"

"It would appear so." Edward laughed, gripping my knee.


	7. Wooden Floors, Walls, and Window Sills

**Chapter Seven: Wooden Floors, Walls, and Window Sills**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

"Finally," I sighed after we'd put together Paige's crib, the last piece of furniture that needed to be put back together. Renee and Charlie would be here tomorrow night with the girls, and it had been a long day of lugging boxes inside. The house was still a complete mess, but we weren't going to get anything done tonight and just knowing our kids would have a place to sleep when they got here was good enough for us.

The house we had picked wasn't nearly as nice as our house back in Seattle, but it would do the job. We were renting, but the owners said we could paint the walls and make it our own as long as we didn't go too crazy. One of the reasons we picked this particular house was because it was pretty great already, and we were only planning on painting our bedrooms to make them a little homier.

"I hate moving," Bella laughed as I grabbed her hand and pulled her downstairs to the mess we were calling our living room. We fell down onto the couch that was place haphazardly against the wrong wall, but we were just focused on getting everything out of the truck, we decided we'd rearrange later.

"Bella?" I asked softly, throwing my arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah?" She asked, looking up at me with her beautiful, brown eyes.

"Thanks for doing this for me." I whispered, closing my eyes so she couldn't tell I was crying. But, when she gently placed her hand on my cheek, I knew she already knew. She always knew.

"You've done so much for me." She said. "It was time for me to return the favor."

"Can we call our girls?" I asked, digging my phone out of my pocket.

"They're already asleep." She reminded me, and I looked at the watched she'd given me and realized it was already ten thirty. Paige was long gone and if Ava hadn't smooth talked her grandparents, she would have already been in bed for half an hour. "We'll call in the morning."

The next day, Bella and I ran around like chickens with our heads cut off. We wanted most of our things put away before the girls got there to make everything feel more like home. I knew Ava said she was okay with the move and she was the one who pushed Bella, but this was still hard. Seattle had been her home her entire life, and to be pulled away like that wasn't very easy.

It wasn't easy for me and I hadn't lived there my whole life.

So, Bella and I did what we could to get things organized. She put things like dishes and blankets away while I worked on arranging the living room and home office. We were exhausted by the time Renee and Charlie pulled into the driveway with the girls. Bella bolted out the door quicker than I could blink, and I couldn't help but laugh when I saw her squeezing Paige. Of course I missed my girls, but it was kind of nice to have some peace and quiet to be able to get things done.

"Come on in," I smiled after shaking Charlie's hand and giving Renee a hug. "It's still kind of a mess." I pointed out as we maneuvered out way through the crowded hallway. The living room was pretty much put together, with the exception of decorations Bella would be putting up with time. We might have been renting the house, but we wanted to make it as nice as we could.

"This is a really nice house." Renee smiled as they sat down on the couch. Bella went upstairs to give Paige her bath and get her ready for bed since it was already seven thirty. Ava had disappeared to explore, leaving just the three of us. I knew they weren't happy about the move, I mean I dragged their three girls basically across the country. But, Renee was being as good about it as she could, but Charlie still hadn't warmed up to the idea.

"Yeah, it was a good find." I sighed, suddenly finding it very difficult to talk to my own in-laws. I just hoped Bella was able to get Paige down easily. "It'll be perfect for us for the time being."

"How long again, Edward?" Charlie grunted, folding his arms across his chest.

"It all depends." I whispered. "On my parents." I reminded them. I really hoped they realized that if my Dad wasn't as sick as he was, we wouldn't have left Seattle. At least, not this suddenly. I honestly didn't want to leave Seattle since Bella and I had created such a good life there.

But, I had to be with my Dad during his last year.

"We should get going." Renee broke the tension. "It's been a long day. I almost forgot how exhausting sins month olds are."

"Bella should be down soon," I pointed out as they stood.

"You tell her goodbye for us." Renee smiled, walking over and giving me a hug. "We'll be over tomorrow afternoon to help you guys out while you unpack."

"Okay," I nodded as they grabbed their things and headed out to their car. I watched as they pulled out of the driveway and drove down the street. I shut the door and headed upstairs to the new nursery, and smiled when I saw Paige in her purple, footie pajamas as Bella rocked her back and forth.

"My parents leave?" She whispered as she moved to stand up. I beat her to it and grabbed a sleeping Paige out of her arms and gently laid her down in her crib.

"They were pooped." I laughed, wrapping my arms around her waist, looking down at my beautiful baby girl asleep. "This one took it out of them."

"Imagine what she'll be like when she starts walking." Bella laughed, leaning up and kissing my cheek. We left the nursery and went to find Ava since we hadn't seen her since she was brought home. She was sitting on her bed in her new room, looking kind of lost.

"Ava?" I asked, gently knocking on the door. "You okay?"

"It's just weird." She shrugged. "We can paint, right?"

"Yeah, baby." Bella laughed, shaking her head. "We'll go paint shopping once things settle down."

"Good, because this room needs some pink." She said, turning towards us and smiling. I loved that no matter how old she got, she still loved pink and always wanted to have a princess room. I smiled, remembering the first time I went to their small garage apartment and how excited she was to show me her princess room that Charlie had designed for her birthday.

Getting ready for bed was strange that night. The first few days we were here, we slept on an air mattress on the dining room floor since I room was so packed with stuff. But, tonight we were finally getting to sleep in our room in our bed and I couldn't have been excited for a real mattress. When we climbed into bed, though, things felt strange.

"This feels wrong." Bella whispered as we laid together. "I feel like we're in a strangers house."

"Me too." I agreed.

"This was the right move, right?" She asked, shifting onto her side, propping her head up onto her elbow. "We didn't ruin Ava, did we?"

"I don't think so," I shook my head. "It'll take some time, but eventually this will feel like home, Bella. Remember, it took you two months to adjust to the apartment when you and Ava moved in with me."

"I hope it doesn't take that long." She whispered, reaching up and placing her hand on my chest.

"Me either." I laughed, grabbing her hand and bringing it up to my lips.

The next morning, we continued to unpack the smaller details of our house and it was really starting to feel like home. We hung paintings and put picture frames on the mantel. Ava was a big help keeping Paige busy so that Bella's parents could help us put our house back together. By the time everyone was ready to stop, we only had a little bit left to do and I knew Bella wanted to do it herself so she could focus.

"Thanks for taking them." I said as we stood on the outside of Charlie's car. I was taking Bella to see my Dad and I didn't want Ava seeing him yet. I knew she'd see him eventually, but I wanted Bella to be ready when we took her because I knew she'd be upset.

"Of course." Renee smiled. "Give Carlisle our love."

"I will, Mom." Bella nodded, giving her Mom a hug. We watched as they turned down the street and jumped into my car. When we pulled in front of my childhood home, Bella's mouth touched the floor. "This is where you grew up?"

"Yep." I nodded. I never liked to brag about the amount of money my parents had. Bella knew they had money, but she definitely wasn't expecting them to have this much money.

"And it was only the three of you?" She asked as I grabbed her hand and pulled her up the walkway.

"Yeah, but Mom and Dad had a lot of meetings and dinner parties here." I shrugged. "Plus, Jasper and Emmett practically lived here so it was really five people living here."

"Damn," She sighed as I grabbed my keys from my pocket and unlocked the front door.

"Hello!" I called through the house and I heard my Mom's shoes clacking against the wood floor.

"You're here!" She gushed, pulling me into a tight hug. "It's been a rough few weeks." She whispered so only I could hear. "Hi, Bella." She smiled, giving her a big hug as well. "Dad's in his study."

Bella stayed back with my Mom while I walked down the hall to my Dad's home office. I softly knocked and opened the door. Somehow, he looked even sicker than he did a month ago and I couldn't really imagine him getting much worse. His hair was a little thinner, his cheeks a little more hollow, and his skin was just a tad paler. I took deep breath, trying to figure out how to just have a normal conversation with him.

"Hey, Dad." I whispered and he looked up from his computer and smile.

"Hi, son." He greeted.

"What are you doing?" I asked, sitting in one of the leather chairs in front of his desk. Out of all the change Mom had made to the house throughout the years, this room always stayed the same. Dad said this was his version of a 'man cave' and even Mom wouldn't be able to convince him to redecorate. She called him stubborn, but he liked what he liked and he couldn't change that.

"I'm setting up meetings with possible buyers." He sighed, looking back at his screen.

"Possible buyers?"

"For the practice." He told me, still not looking up.

"You're selling the practice?"

"Edward," He whispered, finally looking up and removing his reading glasses. "I want to spend the time I have with my family." She shrugged. "I want to know who the practice is going to, and I want to know they care about it as much as I do."

"So...are you done working?" I asked.

"I'm finishing up with my patients and referring them to the other doctors at the practice." He explained. "And, I've been looking to hire another physician since the practice is slowly gaining more clients."

"This is weird." I gulped. "You've been working as a doctor my entire life and now you're just...done."

"It's weird for me too." He nodded. "Son, I would really like it if you helped me pick the person to buy the practice."

"I don't have any idea when it comes to medicine though."

"But you have a good idea when it comes to people." He smiled. "You're a very good judge of character, and I sometimes lack in that area."

"Yeah, I can help if you really want me to." I agreed. "And, Dad?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"Thanks for giving Jasper the job."

"I'd give you and Emmett a job if you were worth something to the practice."

"Hey!" I laughed.

* * *

The next few days became somewhat of a routine for us. We would get up and continue to work on the house, making it even more homier and then visit my parents in the afternoon. Seeing my Dad light up when we carried Paige into the room choked me up every time. I was really trying not to think about the fact that she'd never know him, but it was hard with how loud she laughed when he was holding her.

The neighborhood we had chosen was proving to be a really great one as well. There were a few kids Ava's age, and she got along really well with the two girls she met when their parents came to welcome us to the street. There were also a few babies around Paige's age Bella was happy about because she'd be able to have playdates when she was a little older. And, all of the adults we'd met were very welcoming and helpful since some of them had even made us a few meals since our kitchen wasn't totally put back together.

The details put into a house were the most difficult and frustrating.

It was a very tearful goodbye the following week when Charlie and Renee decided it was time to head home. They told us if they didn't go now they never would, and their home was in Seattle. At least, for the time being their home was in Seattle. They promised to FaceTime and call often and that they'd be out for Thanksgiving. I honestly didn't think Renee was going to hand Paige back to me after she'd hugged and squeezed her.

Bella was a mess the rest of the day after they'd pulled out of the driveway. She just couldn't pull herself together and I couldn't really blame her. It had been hard saying goodbye to my parents when they dropped me off at school, but since I was a teenager, ready to be on my own, it wasn't as hard. Bella hadn't been this far away from her parents her entire life, and this was going to take some getting used to.

But, even though she was sad to see her parents go, I knew she was glad we moved out here. Once she saw how sick Dad was, she came to peace about the move. I guess it just didn't really hit her until she actually saw him and talked to him in person. I knew it would be an adjusting period for everyone, but things were slowly coming together.

"Ugh, no." Ava laughed as I handed her paint swatches. "Too pink."

"You're saying something is too pink?" I asked, putting the swatch back.

"I'm an adult now." She told me, and I cocked an eyebrow at her. "I just mean I'm not a kid anymore and Pepto Bismol pink is not something I want to be staring at everyday."

"O-kay." I shook my head, turning back to the hundreds of swatches. Bella had finished putting up everything on the walls and putting everything back in the drawers, so we were officially ready to make our home our own and Ava insisted on going straight to the paint store.

"I like this." She said, handing me a cream colored swatch.

"It's not pink?" I asked.

"I just got a brilliant idea." She shrugged, turning back to the wall and pulling out a dark grey swatch. "And this."

"Are you one hundred percent sure?" I asked. "Because I'm not spending three days painting your room for you to change your mind."

"Rosalie suggested going with pink accessories." She explained. "And neutral walls, and after looking at these pinks, I don't think I want pink walls anymore."

"Okay, but there is no going back." I warned. "Deal?"

"Deal." She laughed, reaching out and grabbing my hand. This little girl was so perfectly strange and I wondered what Paige would be like at her age.

Ava and I spent a little more time at the paint store, picking out colors for the nursery and master bedroom, before heading home. When we walked inside, our house finally smelled like home and I knew everything was done. It only took an entire week to get to this point, but it was worth it. We could have just thrown stuff everywhere and left things in boxes, but we wanted this place to be as close to perfect as possible.

"How'd it go?" Bella asked as Ava jumped up onto one of the barstools at the kitchen island.

"We got the perfect colors for my room." Ava told her, taking a bite of cookie dough. "Gray and cream."

"Gray and cream?" Bella asked, turning to look at me. "Did you tell her this is her only shot?"

"Yes I did." I nodded. "Apparently Rose told her to go with pink accessories, and the pinks they had to choose from were awful."

"As long as you're sure." Bella said sternly, looking at Ava.

"I am." Ava rolled her eyes, stepping down from the stool.

"Oh, your father called while you were at the store." Bella told her, and I could see her body stiffen slightly. "He really misses you, kid."

"Okay," She nodded and turned to go upstairs.

The conversation Bella had with Jake did not go well. At all. He screamed at her for a solid five minutes before I stepped in and made him stop. Bella knew it was going to happen, so she just sat their and let him yell, but once he started calling her horrible names, I wasn't going to let him continue to talk to her like that. I was a little afraid he was going to get violent, but therapy had actually done something good. While he did clench his fist, he restrained himself from doing anything.

Bella promised he could come out and see her when he wanted to and that she'd bring Ava to visit him when things were less hectic. But, Jake being Jake, threatened to take her to court, not really getting that she had full custody. She could do whatever she wanted with Ava and he had no say. Ava was still hurt by Jake's actions and wasn't ready to forgive him yet. No matter how much Bella tried telling her that you only get one dad, Ava argued saying that she had two Dad's and Jake was not the one she loved more.

"Am I a bad parent?" She asked as the timer went off. She pulled the cookies out of the oven and set them on top of the oven to cool.

"Why would you be?" I asked, sitting down on the stool Ava had just vacated. "Because Jake's an idiot who hurt his daughter and now she doesn't want anything to do with him?"

"When you say it like that..."

"You're a fantastic Mom, Bella." I cut her off. "Jake has to pay the consequences of his actions.

"You're right." She agreed. "So?"

"So what?" I asked as she walked over and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Welcome home," She smiled as I leaned in and brushed my lips gently against hers.


	8. A Small Crime

**Chapter Eight: A Small Crime**

* * *

 **Bella's POV**

"I can't believe you're here!" I screeched as I hugged Alice tightly. Her and Jasper were finally moving to Chicago and it was so nice to finally have some familiar faces around. As nice and welcoming as our neighbors were, nothing compared to having some of our best friends in the same city again.

"I am so glad to see you." Alice cried and tears began pooling in her eyes. Alice was already the most emotional out of the three of us, and I wasn't surprised that pregnancy just amplified that. "I missed you guys so much."

"How was the drive?" Edward asked, helping Jasper with their luggage. They weren't getting the key to their house for another two days, and we weren't going to let them waste their money on a hotel. The guest bedroom wasn't anything special, but it had a comfortable bed and that's what I knew they were going to want.

"Long," Jasper sighed, moving his neck around. "Even if we spread it out between three days."

"I told you to do four." Edward slapped him in the back.

"Alice!" Ava yelled as she ran outside and nearly tackled Alice. Since I was an only child, I was so thankful my best friends were close with my kids. I loved knowing they were always safe when they were with them and I loved that my best friends loved my kids as their own. And, even though Alice and Rosalie both had siblings, I knew I was a lot closer to their kids than they were.

We were all pretty blessed.

"Ugh, you have to stop getting bigger." Alice laughed as Ava moved to hug Jasper. It was also really nice that Emmett and Jasper loved Ava just as much as Alice and Rosalie. Sometimes, thing just seemed so simple.

"It hasn't even been a month since you've seen her." Edward laughed as we followed them inside the house. "I don't even think she's grown."

"Shut up," Alice sighed as she bent down to pick Paige out of her seat.

"So?" I asked as we all sat down. Ava opened the book she'd been reading, wanting to feel included without actually having to listen to us talk about things she didn't care about at all.

"So what?" Jasper asked, waving at Paige who was very content being in Alice's arms.

"Did you find out what your'e having?" I asked since she was nearing that point in her pregnancy.

"Next week the doctor said we should be able to tell." Alice explained. "But, you didn't tell us. What's stopping us from not telling you?"

"Point taken." Edward laughed. "But, how can we buy you things?"

"The same way we bought you guys things." Jasper shrugged. "But, please don't buy us dressed 'just in case' I was practically holding my breath while you were in labor, praying it was a girl because we spent too much money on dresses for it to be a boy."

"That's why you had so many dresses to give us when she was born." I laughed, shaking my head at Alice. I knew she was going to be a great Mom who loved her kids unconditionally, but I knew how much she wanted a girl to spoil. At some points, I was pretty sure she was going to take Ava with her because she was so in love with her and buying stuff for her.

"How's your Dad doing, Edward?" Jasper asked, changing the mode of the room completely.

"He's getting by." He said, his voice strained. I reached over and gave his knee a gentle squeeze, making sure he knew I was here. "The chemo is working a little, but the doctors are saying it's just buying him time."

"How's the chemo for him?" Alice asked.

"It's making him sick." He sighed. "He's slowly losing his hair, and Mom told me he throws up everyday. And, because he feels so nauseous, he doesn't want to eat anything."

"Damn," Jasper whispered. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Actually," I spoke up. "He has an appointment at the hospital tomorrow, and Esme wants the two of us to go with him, so could you guys potentially watch the girls?"

"Absolutely." Alice agreed immediately.

"But, I do want to see him." Jasper told us. "Whenever he's feeling up for it."

"We were going to head over there soon, I can call them and ask if he's okay with you two coming." Edward said, standing up and grabbing his phone off the side table and walking into the kitchen to call Esme.

"How was Rosalie?" I asked, desperately wanting the subject.

"Emmett was more of a mess than she was." Jasper laughed. "But, she was still pretty upset. I had to pry them apart or we probably wouldn't have left." He laughed. "Emmett wants to move out here, but Rose is against it since her parents are there and with Mike gone, they've been pretty upset lately. At least Mrs. Hale is having a hard time letting him go."

"Yeah, I knew that." I nodded. "I wish they could move out here though."

"But, you an Edward are only out here temporarily." Alice shrugged as Paige started getting fussy in her arms. "So, it would be pointless for them to come out here if they just miss their friends." I agreed with them as I stood up to grab Paige so that Edward could feed her once he was off the phone. Once he was feeding her, I showed Alice and Jasper the room they'd be staying and went to get myself ready to go to the Masen house.

Alice and Jasper agreed to follow us as I locked our door behind us. When we got to the Masen's big house, I smiled at Jasper who was looking pretty nostalgic. I knew that after Maria passed away, Chicago was full of ghosts for him and he hadn't been home very much since. And, when they did manage to get to Chicago, Alice said they stayed in the general area of his house.

I knew that Jasper loved Alice, but I couldn't imagine losing the person I once hoped to marry that tragically.

"Jasper!" Esme gushed as she walked into the room to greet us. I could tell it had been a long night since she was dressed so casually, and wearing flat sandals opposed to her stiletto heels. "Alice, it's so good to see you." She smiled, tightly wrapping her arms around Carlisle.

"Where's Dad?" Edward asked, putting Paige's diaper bag at the bottom of the steps.

"Our bedroom." She whispered. "He didn't sleep much last night."

"He okay?" I asked, handing Paige to Alice who was begging to hold her.

"He was throwing up all night." She explained. "The chemotherapy makes him so sick."

"And there isn't any way they can do surgery?" Jasper asked.

"The doctors said they could go in and see what they could do, but the scans show the cancer pretty well." She told us. "Surgery most likely wouldn't do anything."

"Can I go see him?" Edward asked, looking antsy. I knew how nervous he was with how sick Carlisle was. Every moment counted to him even more, and I knew he looked forward to our visits.

"Yeah, he'd like that." She smiled. "He was asking about Paige earlier." Edward grabbed Paige from Alice's grip and Esme led the four of us into the living room. I had to hold back tears when I heard Paige and Carlisle laughing together. It killed me knowing his time with her was limited and that she'd never really know him.

I could only imagine how Edward was feeling about that.

After a half hour, Edward helped Carlisle down the stairs and told me he'd put Paige down in the Pac N Play we kept at their house. Carlisle's face lit up when he saw Jasper and Alice, but Esme was right. It had been a rough night, he looked completely exhausted. His eyes were slightly sunken in, and he looked even paler than normal.

"How are you feeling, Carlisle?" Alice asked as Edward helped him on the couch.

"I've been better, sweetie." He winked at her as Ava went and sat down next to him. I was so grateful for everything Carlisle and Esme had done for Ava since she barely knew Jake's parents. Just like Edward, Carlisle and Esme treated my daughter like she was their own, and Ava loved them as much as she loved my parents. It really was amazing how you could create a family, and the people in your family didn't even have to be blood.

"Thank you again, Carlisle, for letting me work at the practice until I find another job." Jasper smiled after Esme had put the coffee pot down on the table.

"Jasper, you stay there as long as you need." Carlisle told him. "You don't have to look for a new job."

"I know, but it can be easier to find clients if you're working at a practice for psychologists." He told them. "But, this is a big help for us getting on our feet."

"Have you seen your house yet?" Esme asked excitedly.

"No, not yet." Alice sighed. "The drive was long, and we won't get the key for a few days. Donna said the house is in perfect condition though, and we made a good choice."

"I could never move into a house that I never got the chance to see myself." Carlisle chuckled. "I applaud all of you and your real estate bravery."

"Well, we wouldn't have bought it if Jasper's parents didn't look at it in person for us." Alice reminded him.

"Sounds like my grand baby is awake." Carlisle smiled, and when I looked at my watch, I didn't even realize an hour and a half had passed. As I stood up, Carlisle insisted on getting her himself, and I wasn't going to deny him extra Paige time. As weak as he was getting, he always seemed strong enough to hold her.

* * *

"What's taking so long?" Edward asked as he bounced his knee up and down. The constant move was really starting to irritate me, but I knew how anxious he was and wouldn't be able to stop. Esme had asked us to come to Carlisle's doctor appointment that afternoon so the doctor could show us what we were working with.

Edward had been too shocked when he first came out here, and didn't know much except that it had spread to his other organs.

"Be patient." I whispered, reaching out and grabbing his hand. Esme had gone with Carlisle for the initial exam, and once that was finished, they would come get us.

"Mr. Masen?" A nurse in green scrubs asked at the door leading to where all the offices were. "You two can come back now."

"Thanks," He nodded, sprinting up and walking over to where she was standing. She led us down a long, clinical hallway to the last door before the hall split. When we walked inside, the room looked like any standard exam room. Except, this room was way more depressing than any exam room I'd ever been in, but I was starting to think it was because of what we were here for.

"The doctor will be back shortly." She smiled as she shut the door. Carlisle was sitting on the table, and Esme was by his side, tightly gripping his hand. I almost got teary eyed again when I thought of her losing him, but I pushed my feelings away because today wasn't for me. It was for Edward and I needed him to know I was going to be there for him.

The wait for the doctor was quiet and tense. No one knew what to say, so we just decided to say nothing. I was glad when the doctor knocked, only because we wouldn't have to sit in silence anymore.

"Shall we look at your new scans?" The doctor asked kindly as he sat down on his stool. Carlisle just nodded and for the first time, the small glimmer of hope in his eyes were gone. "Alrighty," The doctor sighed, turning on the computer, a black and white picture coming onto the screen.

"So?" Esme asked. "Has it spread more?"

"Unfortunately, it has." The doctor said solemnly. "It hasn't spread to any new organs, but it has spread to more of the liver and a little bit more of the lungs." He explained. "Do you see this?" He asked, pointing to a dark, gray mass on the screen.

"Yeah?" Edward answered, stepping closer to get a better look.

"This wasn't here a few weeks ago."

"So, now what?" I asked, tugging Edward back to my side.

"We continue the chemotherapy." He nodded. "I really with there was more I could say or do."

"Then do it!" Edward snapped.

"Believe me, if I could operate...if I thought surgery would help him, I would do it in a heartbeat." He sighed. "I'm sorry, Carlisle."

"Thanks Dr. Hutson." Carlisle nodded, and I could tell he didn't want Edward getting into an argument with his doctor. Carlisle was used to being the bearer of the bad news, he knew that there really wasn't anything Dr. Hutson could do.

"This is such bull." Edward muttered under his breath as he turned the doorknob and slammed the door shut behind him. I cringed, and I noticed Esme had tears streaming down her cheek as Carlisle pursed his lips together. I said goodbye to them and walked out to the parking lot, hoping Edward hadn't left without me.

He drove home without picking the girls up from Alice and Jasper's place, which I was kind of thankful. They didn't need to see him like this. When he pulled into the driveway, he didn't bother pulling into the garage or waiting for me to follow him. He slammed the door before I'd walked inside, and I had to take a deep breath before opening the door and following him inside. I could hear him rattling around upstairs, and I prayed he wasn't making a mess.

We'd just cleaned the house.

When I walked upstairs, he was changing the sheets on our bed even though he watched me change the two days ago. He was stripping the entire bed, our mattress protector as well as the sheets. He was stomping around like a mad person and I thought he was going to break something.

"Edward, please." I begged. "Come on, you don't need to do that."

"Please, move." He grunted as he tried to move to the hall closet to get the new sheets, which weren't clean yet because I hadn't had time to wash sheets and towels. "Where are our other sheets?"

"I haven't washed them yet." I whispered, and he slammed that door and stomped back into the bedroom. He started to put the bed back together again, but he was so flustered, he wasn't able to get the fitted sheet to stay on the bed.

"Fuck!" He screamed, pulling the sheet over the corner again. "Fucking, piece of shit sheets."

"Stop it." I demanded, because I already had one teenager to deal with. I didn't need another one. "What is with you?"

"I'm going to sue that no good doctor." He told me, finally getting the sheet to stay on two corners. "He isn't fucking do his job right."

"Edward, yes he is." I whispered. I didn't want to be the enemy, but he shouldn't be blaming the doctor for this.

"He isn't doing anything, Bella! He's making my Dad sicker instead of better."

"No, the chemo is making hims sick." I pointed out. "Not Dr. Hutson."

"I just don't understand why he's sitting on his ass all day instead of doing surgery!" He yelled. "He's not trying!"

"Edward!" I exclaimed, completely out of patience. "I looked up the surgery that they would need to do. With how far the cancer has spread and to the organs the cancer has spread to, the surgery is too risky."

"I'm going to find him another doctor." He told me, ignoring what I'd just said. "What does this crock even know?"

"More than you." I folded my arms over my chest. "He's the second best oncologist in the city."

"Then I'll get my Dad the best oncologist in the city."

"I already looked, he's booked solid and isn't taking on any new patients." I whispered.

"Fine, I'll get the best in the state."

"The best in the state is the doctor who's not taking on new patients."

"Then I'll get the best fucking oncologist in the entire country!" He yelled, and he was becoming irrational.

"Baby," I whispered, walking over to him and grabbing his face with my hands. "Please stop making this harder than it has to be."

"They aren't taking care of him, Bella." He cried, tears pulling in his eyes.

"Yes, they are." I assured him. "Esme told me they went to ten different doctors and four surgeons, and they all told your Dad the same thing." I explained. "There isn't anything anyone can do for him."

"He's my best friend, Bella." He cried, finally breaking down and sitting on the bed. "He told me that he could make Tanya's death look like an accident after she left me." He said. "He said he was a doctor, so he could do that." He told me. "He told me that if I loved you, then he loved you too no matter what kind of a past you had."

"Edward," I bit my lip.

"I..." He trailed off. "I don't know how to live in a world where my Dad doesn't."


	9. In My Mind and Memory

**Chapter Nine: In My Mind and Memory**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

Our life in Chicago became somewhat of a routine. We'd try to visit my Dad once a day, even if it was just to say hello, and we'd go with him to his countless appointments. I sat with him and did the crossword with him while he got his chemo treatment and Bella spent a lot of time looking up recipes that he could eat without getting sick.

I couldn't have asked for a better wife. I didn't think I'd be able to get through this without her or my girls. Those two girls were the light that everyone needed.

I also started work at my new school. It was weird being the new guy again, and it was so much different teaching third graders as opposed to first graders, but it was a great school. The staff was welcoming, and the kids were all really smart and well behaved. The principle was also very understanding with my home situation and told me that we would work things out as they happened. They knew when they hired me that I would be taking time off to be with my Dad as her got sicker, and they told me not to worry.

With Bella's birthday was coming up and I was determined to throw her the best party I could. She always deserved it since she was constantly doing things for everyone else, but I especially wanted her to have a good birthday this year. She'd flipped her entire life upside down for me and my parents, and I'd never be able to repay her. So, I called Emmett and Rosalie and bought them their plane tickets and got Jazz and Alice to let them stay at their house. I knew how much she'd been missing Rosalie lately and Seattle.

"I feel like I'm officially getting old." She laughed as we pulled the covers down and climbed into bed. "I mean, I'm almost in my mid-thirties."

"You have three more years until you're in your mid-thirties." I reminded her, pulling her close to me. Our marriage had been kind of strained the last few months, more strained than it had been before. But, we loved each other and that's what got us through all the stupid fights we'd been having. I hated arguing with her, but we never let anything go unresolved, and we were constantly reminding each other 'for better or worse'

This was one of the worst times, and we vowed to stay by each other's side.

"Thanks for being born," I whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"I love you," She turned, and gently pressed her lips to mine before reaching to turn the bedside lamp off.

The week leading up to Bella's birthday seemed to be a game changer. She was in a generally better mood and Paige had finally started to crawl. Watching our daughter crawl around the living room from person to person somehow made everything better, even if nothing had really changed.

I couldn't believe that my baby girl was already eight months old. I didn't want to believe it. I also couldn't believe Ava was in the eighth grade already and I didn't even want to start thinking about the fact that she'd be a freshman in high school next year. I may have missed the first seven years o her life, but I had watched her grow up and the older she got, the weirder it got.

"Haaapppyyyy birthday!" Ava sang as she walked into our bedroom on the morning of Bella's birthday. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to wake up more before I pushed up onto my elbows. Ava had made the two of us the frozen pancakes Bella makes her when the mornings are rushed. "I would have made real pancakes..."

"Ava, this is perfect." Bella yawned, sitting up in bed. Ava set the tray of food over Bella's legs and sat down on the edge of the bed with her. "I grabbed Paige from her crib, she's playing in her room."

"Thanks for being such a big help." I winked at her, accepting the bite Bella offered me. "Can you go get her and bring her in here?"

"Sure," She smiled as Bella took a bite of the fruit Ava had cut up for us. Ava brought Paige back into our bedroom and sat her in between Bella and I. She eagerly crawled up to where Bella and I were sitting, and tried taking a bite of pancake from our plate.

"Not yet, cutie." Bella laughed, taking the bit from her hand. "Banana?" She asked, holding out a piece for Paige to take it. She smiled and grabbed it from Bella's hand and shoved it into her mouth. She was already a mess and she hadn't even had breakfast yet. "Ava, please go get ready for school."

"I still have to go?" She pouted.

"As wonderful as this surprise was, yes you still need to go to school." Bella laughed. "But, we're going to celebrate when you and Edward get home."

"Fine," She mockingly rolled her eyes. Bella and I finished our breakfast and I got out of bed to get ready for my day. I offered to stay home with her, but she insisted I go so I could keep my days off for my Dad. I showered quickly, and by the time I was finished, she'd already taken Paige downstairs and cleaned up our breakfast mess.

The school day passed by slowly. All I wanted to do was go home and see my wife and be with her on her birthday. It also didn't help that my students had a reading test and a science test, so there were two silent periods. I didn't mind the extra time to get things graded, but on a day like this, teaching definitely made the time go by much quicker. I sighed in relief when the final bell rang, knowing I only have forty more minutes until I got to go home.

Bella was gone when I got home, just like Alice and I had planned. Alice insisted on having a girls day with Bella so I would have time to set up for the party. It wasn't going to be anything major, but she thought it was just going to be the four of us and a cake. I blew up some balloons, and started on making dinner. By the time the garage door went up, I was finishing up the salad.

"Awe, you blew up balloons for me." She smiled as she walked into the kitchen. She leaned in and gave me a kiss, before handing Paige over to me. I gave my baby girl a kiss on the forehead and smiled at Bella as she grabbed a bottle for her.

"How was your day?" I asked, handing Paige back to Bella so I could put the pasta in the boiling water.

"Long," She laughed. "Even when she's pregnant, Alice has more energy than a seven year old." She told me. "But, we found a really good deal on a crib and then Alice wanted to buy literally everything."

"Are they still wanting to keep the sex of the baby a secret?" I asked.

"They're insisting that there aren't enough surprises in life anymore and they want this to be." She shrugged. "I don't know why, though, surprises are never good."

"Hey, meeting me was kind of a surprise." I pointed out.

"No, falling in love with you was a surprise." She blushed. "So, I guess there are some good surprises. Is Ava upstairs?"

"She fell asleep reading." I told her. "I guess waking up even earlier for school killed her."

"Teenagers." Bella giggled as the doorbell rang. I looked at the clock and smiled. They were right on time. "Who's that?" I shrugged as she got up and went to the door. "Oh my God!" Bella shrieked. I looked over at Paige, who was laughing to herself, and smiled at her. I went over and grabbed her from her high chair and walked over to the front door.

"Hey, guys." I smiled, giving Rosalie a tight hug as Bella hugged Hunter. Rosalie and Emmett being in town was definitely a present for everyone, and I hadn't realized how much I missed Emmett until now. It was the longest the three of us had been apart since I moved to Seattle.

"Did you do this?" She asked, turning to me as Emmett grabbed Paige from my arms.

"Happy birthday, Bella." I smiled as she threw her arms around my neck.

"Best birthday present ever." She whispered, pulling away and pressing her lips to mine. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I smiled, giving her another kiss before pulling away. We walked into the living room and Ava finally came down from her room, her eyes bugging out of her head. I hadn't told anyone but Alice and Jasper that they were coming, and I knew how much Ava missed Rosalie.

After Alice and Jasper, as well as my parents arrived, I brought out the appetizers and we spent time just catching up. We talked to them a lot over the phone, but nothing beat having them here in person. I looked over at Ava who was holding Alice's stomach and just prayed she found friends as good as mine.

"Well, look at that." Rosalie laughed, nodding towards the ground where Paige was sharing her toys with Hunter. "Do we have a future couple?"

"Oh please." Alice shook her head. "Paige is going to be with our boy."

"Alice," Jasper nudged her side.

"Oops." She giggled.

"You're having a boy!?" Rosalie and Bella asked together, standing up and walking over to Alice. Alice nodded happily and stood up, hugging her best friends tightly.

"I knew she couldn't keep a secret that big." Emmett laughed, clapping Jasper on the back. After the excitement had wound down, everyone walked to the dining room dinner as I went and pulled the pasta out of the oven. I brought the dish to the table and began serving everyone.

Since Bella was still pumping breast milk for Paige and Alice was pregnant, she asked me to not let anyone have alcohol. Emmett started to pout, but then stopped once Rosalie gave him the stink eye and he stopped immediately. Never in a million years did I picture Emmett being completely whipped, but I was glad that it had actually happened.

"To, Bella!" Alice smiled, raising her glass. "The best friend a girl could ask for."

"Here here!" Emmett cheered as everyone clinked their glasses together.

"How's your mom, Rose?" Dad asked as we ate dinner. They had spent the last twenty minutes catching us up on everything we'd missed, including Jessica Stanley getting caught with another guy. I had to laugh to myself about that since all she did was flirt with me when her kid was in my class...even after it was very obvious Bella and I were dating.

"Good, she's looking to expand the store actually." She explained. "She wants to either buy a bigger store, or open a second store up."

"That's great!" Bella smiled, cutting up some pasta for Paige to eat. I shook my head as my daughter spread the sauce all over her high chair tray, and got the post everywhere but her mouth. I looked over at my Dad who was watching Paige like I was, and smiled to myself. For the first time in months, he had that light in his eyes and looked to really be enjoying himself.

The rest of dinner was spent with Alice talking baby names and Emmett talking about how stupid the Cubs were for their recent loss. Ava helped me clear the table and put the candles on Bella's cake.

"Happy birthday to you!" I sang as I carried the cake out to the table. Bella grinned from ear to ear as I placed the cake on the table and we sang the rest of the song. When we were done, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and blew her candles out. After everyone ate their cake, Emmett and I took the babies upstairs to get cleaned up while everyone went into the living room.

"Present time!" Alice gushed once we were back downstairs. I saw Jasper roll his eyes ever so slightly as he got up and went out to the car. He brought back a mountain of presents, and Bella's eyes bugged out of her head at the amount of boxes he was carrying.

"Alice," Bella warned. "What did you do?"

"It isn't all for you." She smiled, handing my parents two boxes each, but the rest were placed in front of Bella. Mom and Dad her a quizzical look, but she just smiled at them to open the boxes.

"Alice," Dad smiled as he unwrapped what looked like a picture frame. He turned it around and it was a picture with Paige on his lap, and he was just laughing away as she clapped her little hands together. I knew Alice was constantly taking pictures, but this had to be the best candid I'd seen. "Thank you," He whispered, his eyes brimming with tears.

"Let's let Bella open her presents." Mom insisted, promising she'd open her grifts later when they got home. Bella opened the several boxes Alice had placed in front of her, and it was all stuff that had been damaged during the move. Most of our stuff had made it, but a few vases and one of Bella's good bowls did not.

"Thank you so much, guys." Bella smiled, standing up and giving them both a hug.

"You're wel...holy crap." Her eyes got wide as she gripped her stomach. She looked up at Jasper, her eyes bugging out of her head, but she was smiling from ear to ear. "I think he just kicked."

"Stop!" Jasper cried, placing his hands on her stomach. "Wow," He whispered when he'd felt the baby kick. I looked over at Bella and smiled, remembering when I felt Paige kicking for the first time.

"This is turning out to be a pretty great birthday." Bella laughed as Alice placed her hand on her baby bump. "It's the weirdest feeling, right?"

"It's like there really is someone growing inside of me." Alice giggled because she was right. Feeling the baby kick did make the pregnancy that more real. "But, this isn't my party and I've stolen too much attention."

"Good, that means it's off of me." Bella laughed, sitting back down as Ava handed Bella her gift wrapped in purple paper. Bella gently tore the paper and brought her hand to her mouth when she saw what it was. "Ava," She whispered, desperately trying to hold back her tears.

"I thought it was time for some family portraits." Ava shrugged as Bella turned the frame around. Ava came to me, asking for a good gift for Bella. After racking my brain, I noticed the empty wall space on the stairs. It was time we got some up to date family pictures, since the last time we had someone professional around, it was for our wedding.

"Oh, that's beautiful." Esme gushed as she took the frame out of Bella's hand. The photographer had gotten a lot of really great shots, but this one was by far my favorite. Ava was holding Paige out, above her head and both girls were laughing.

"How'd I get so dang lucky?" Bella asked, giving Ava a tight hug.

"I know." Ava laughed. "I'm good, aren't I?"

"You're pushing it." I warned, but it was true. Bella and I had been extremely blessed with such terrific girls.

Once all the presents had been open and all the coffee had been drunk, everyone started filing out, but I headed to the back porch. It was a beautiful September night in Chicago, and the cool breeze felt good. I lit the candles I set on the table and plugged in the white lights hanging from the porch roof. I pulled the single rose from the basket we kept for outdoor blankets, and waited for her to get my text message.

"Edward, what are you..." She trailed off when she looked up from her phone and saw me standing in the middle of the porch with a single rose in my hand. "What is this?"

"Happy birthday, baby." I whispered as she walked towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"It's beautiful." She whispered, pulling away slightly and looking around. "When did you do this?"

"While you and Alice were shopping." I told her. "Why do you think I kept the backdoor shut all night?"

"This is the best present I've ever gotten." She cried.

"It's about to get better." I smiled, pulling a small remote out of my jeans pockets and pressing play. Soft music started playing from the small stereo system we had hooked up outside, and tears started streaming down her cheeks.

"Our song." She smiled.

 _When your legs don't work like they used to before_

"May I have this dance, Mrs. Masen?" I asked, extending my hand out for her to take. She nodded her head and grabbed my hand, and I pulled her close to me. I wrapped one arm around my waist and kept her hand in mine, and we slowly began swaying to the music.

"You remember why we picked this song?" She asked as I spun her around.

"Yeah, because the first line talks about your legs not working." I laughed. "And you're so dang clumsy all the time."

"Thanks for loving me anyway." She whispered.

 _Take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars._

"I love everything about you, even your clumsiness."

 _I'm thinking out loud, maybe we found love right where we are._

And then I smiled at the thought of why we really picked this song. Neither of us had to ever pretend to be something we weren't, because we fell in love just as Bella and Edward. We loved each other, even through the rough patches and that's what I knew was going to get us through our time in Chicago.


	10. We're Young Enough to Say

**Chapter Ten: We're Young Enough to Say**

* * *

 **Bella's POV**

"Yes!" I moaned as Edward pounded into me. "Fuck!" I cursed, arching my back as I came. He was right behind me, and collapsed into a pile of mush on top of me. "I love birthday's," I panted as he pulled out of my and pulled me close to his hot, sweaty body.

"Yeah." He chucked, pushing the hair stuck to my forehead away. "We should have them more often." With two kids, our sex life wasn't that interesting...but it sure was good when we actually had the chance. He reached down and pulled the covers over us, and I leaned over to turn the bedside lamp off.

This was one of the best birthday's I'd ever had.

Waking up in the morning was one of the best experiences I'd had since moving to Chicago. Suddenly, I wasn't full of dread of what kind of phone call we'd get from Esme or afraid Edward would be in a mood. Things suddenly felt...better. It was like last night we had made a promise to each other that everything was okay again and that we'd start working harder at understanding each other.

"I think Paige is awake." Edward mumbled, rolling over onto his back. I listened closer and heard our baby girl cooing away in her nursery. "I'll get her." He mumbled, standing up and pulling a pair of clean boxers on. I jumped out of bed and pulled on clean panties and a sports bra, along with one of Edward's old tshirts. I went downstairs and grabbed Paige's cereal along with a banana to cut up for her.

"Morning, Mommy." Edward laughed as he carried Paige into the kitchen. He brought her over to me, and I gave her a kiss on the hand before he set her in her highchair. "Paige is still snoring away."

"She does not snore." I laughed, gently hitting him with the spatula I was using to make the scrambled eggs.

"Whatever you say." He rolled his eyes, taking a piece of banana off of Paige's tray. Just as I was scooping the eggs onto a plate, my phone rang and Edward took our plates over to the kitchen table.

"Hello?" I asked, putting pieces of bread into the toaster.

"Are you busy?" Alice asked, sounding out of breath.

"No, why?" I asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, but get dressed and be ready in five minutes." She ordered and hung up the phone. I turned to Edward who was giving me a confused look, and I just shrugged.

"I think I'm being kidnapped by Alice." I laughed, pulling the toast out of the toaster and giving a slice to Edward. "Are you good here?"

"I think I can manage." He smiled as Paige begged to be let out of her high chair. She hated that thing, and I couldn't blame her. I didn't like feeling trapped either. "I'll get her out in a second, you go put some pants on."

"Yes, sir." I laughed, running upstairs and finding one of my own tshirts and pulling on a pair of old jeans. I threw my hair in a ponytail and quickly put my contacts in. Just as I was putting my wedding bands on, there was a loud honk coming from the driveway. I looked out the window and saw Alice's bright, yellow car sitting on the street and shook my head. I had no idea why she wanted a car that bright.

"Love you!" I called to Edward as I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. Rosalie was sitting in the front seat, so I jumped in the back. For a second, it felt like the three of us were in high school again because this was something that frequently happened. We never gave each other any reason or context when we'd picked each other up to go do something.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" I asked as Alice drove down the street.

"CVS." Rosalie whispered.

"What?" I asked, but no one answered me after that. Alice drove to the nearest CVS and parked in the stork parking space, and I knew she felt good that she could finally use those spots since she looked like she was about to burst. We made our way inside and Rosalie led us to the aisle with the condoms and pregnancy tests.

"Which one?" She asked, looking at the variety of pregnancy tests in front of us.

"I used Clear Blue." Alice told her, picking up a box and holding on to it.

"Rose?" I asked, and she turned to me, looking way more scared than she should. "You really think?"

"I'm three weeks late." She sniffed, and I hadn't realized how red her eyes were. "I shouldn't even waist my money on these tests, but I don't want to go to the doctor unless I'm sure."

"I always used First Response." I told her. We picked out two more tests because she needed to absolutely sure about this. This was the same way I was acting when they took me to buy pregnancy tests when I got pregnant with Ava, and I wasn't sure she was so upset about it.

"Can we do this at your house?" Rosalie asked as we bought a big thing of orange juice for her to drink.

"Sure," I nodded.

"Edward can't know." She pointed out.

"He won't." I assured her. "I think he's planning on taking Paige to Carlisle's house before I get back. And Ava wouldn't say anything if she found out."

"Okay," She whispered as we made our way to check out. When we got back to my place, Edward was already gone and I could hear the shower on in the bathroom upstairs. Alice and I drank orange juice with her and waited for her to have to pee. When she said she was ready, we went into my bedroom and shut the door. Alice and I sat on the bed while she went into the bathroom to take the tests.

"Can someone set a timer?" She asked as she came out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed with us. Alice grabbed her phone, set a timer, and grabbed Rose's hand.

'Rose, why are you so upset about this?" I asked. "You're acting like I did when I wasn't sure if I was pregnant with Ava."

"Because I mentioned something to Emmett about being late..." She trailed off, and tears started streaming down her cheek. "And he said he didn't want anymore kids. And we got into a huge fight and that's when Alice called you."

"I'm sure he was just overwhelmed." Alice whispered.

"Hunter was an accident." She reminded us. "I don't even know if he ever wanted kids, but he wasn't going to leave me because I'd gotten pregnant."

"Yeah, and he loves Hunter way more than most fathers do." I told her. "He just needs time to cool off, this is big news."

"I just want our baby to be loved." She sighed, placing her hand on her stomach.

"They will be." Alice smiled. "Emmett doesn't have a good filter, but I know he'll love this baby. And plus, we already love him."

"Absolutely." I laughed, giving her a nudge as Alice's phone went off. The three of us took a deep breath, standing up and walking into the bathroom. All four pregnancy tests were positive, and Rosalie started to cry. However, neither Alice or I were sure if it was because of sadness or happiness, but we tightly hugged her regardless. Rosalie told me she wasn't ready to face Emmett yet, so we threw three of the tests in the garbage and went downstairs. Ava was sitting on the couch, reading her book quietly, and smiled at us as we walked downstairs.

"Hi, guys!" She cheered, closing her book and setting it aside. She followed us into the kitchen and sat down at the island with us, folding her hands on the counter top. "So, what kind of adult topics are we discussing today?"

"Sex, love, adultery." Alice mocked, but I had to shoot her a disapproving look. Even as adult Ava seemed, she was still only fourteen and most certainly not ready to talk about adultery with my friends. "I'm only kidding."

"What are you reading, Ava?" Rosalie changed the subject as I poured coffee grounds into the maker.

" _The Giver_." She answered, snagging a pear from the bowl.

"That was one of my favorites." Alice smiled as the coffee pot dinged. I grabbed three mugs from the cabinet, as well as a glass for Ava's orange juice, and placed them in front of where they were sitting.

"It's okay." Ava shrugged. " _The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe_ is still by far my favorite book I've read for school so far."

"Just like your mother." Rosalie laughed, taking a sip of her coffee.

"What other homework do you have this weekend, sweetie?" I asked as I heard the garage door go up.

"I have the rest of my reading, some math, and a take home history quiz." She answered. Just like me, Ava was in the honors program at her school, and she was doing well since this school was just a little bit harder than her school in Seattle.

"Why don't you go get a start on that?" I asked.

"I can just leave if you guys wanna talk." She laughed, jumping off the stool and grabbing her glass. "You don't have to plot to get rid of me."

"Just go do something else." I laughed, waiving her away. As Ava was leaving the kitchen, Edward walked in with Paige in his arms. She reached for me immediately and I grabbed her, cuddling her close to me. I obviously loved having Edward around with Paige, but sometimes I missed having them all to myself. It was kind of nice to not have to share Ava when she was a baby.

"Everything okay?" He asked as he grabbed a mug for himself, but once he took a sip of the coffee, he spit i back into the cup. "What the hell is this?"

"Decaf." I laughed. "Alice can't have regular coffee, remembered?"

"Oh yeah, the worst part of the pregnancy." Edward laughed and I elbowed him in the stomach.

"How's your Dad?" Rose asked.

"He was good today." He smiled, sitting on the stool Ava had just vacated. "Paige always brightens his day."

"She brightens everyone's day." I cooed as I kissed her little cheek.

"Oh, have you and Jasper talked names yet?" Rosalie asked and I knew she was desperately trying to avoid the conversation about her being pregnant.

"A little." She shrugged. "I want to name his Brandon, but Jasper doesn't particularly love that name." She told us. "But, he said if I really like it then he'd be okay with it being his middle name."

"It should definitely be apart of his name since it is your maiden name." Rosalie encouraged her.

"I agree, which is why I like it for a first name." Alice shrugged. "We've still got some time though." She smiled, placing her hand on her stomach.

* * *

With Rosalie and Emmett staying for the entire week, we really got to catch up on what was going on at home. Phone calls and FaceTime were never enough when we talked to them, and it was so great having all six of us back tougher. I could also tell how much Carlisle liked having them in Chicago, and it was amazing that his spirits were so high with them around. Plus, as much as he loved Paige, I knew he secretly wanted a grandson, so having Hunter around was nice for him as well.

Rosalie had told Emmett that she was officially pregnant, and like Alice and I predicted, he was overjoyed. It took him a few minutes while he let the news sink in, but after he'd had time to think, he was spinning her around and throwing out baby names already. Just like he did when she announced her first pregnancy. I loved seeing them this happy and going this strong since we thought their marriage was a little too rushed. I had never been happier to be wrong about something.

"You almost ready?" Edward asked as he walked into our bathroom the day before Emmett and Rosalie were heading back to Seattle. The six of us were going out to eat while Esme came over to keep an on the the girls.

"Yeah," I smiled.

"Can I asked something?" He asked, sitting down on the toilet.

"Sure?"

"Are you pregnant?" He asked, showing me one of Rosalie's positive pregnancy tests, wrapped up in tissue paper.

"No," I shook my head. "Alice wanted to make sure she was actually pregnant." I lied because I knew Emmett wanted to tell him and Jasper himself.

"Oh," He hung his head low, throwing the test back in the trash.

"Do you want me to be?" I asked. Paige was only eight months old, and we hadn't talked about having another kid at all. I knew he wanted more than one, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for a new baby quite yet. Paige wasn't even potty trained yet, and I didn't think I could be changing two kids diapers yet.

"I mean, I do want more kids." He nodded his head, looking back up at me. "But, I don't think we're ready yet."

"Me either." I laughed. "Do you know how many diapers we'd be changing if we had a baby before Paige was potty trained?"

"Oh god." He smiled, standing up as I clasped my necklace shut. He came up behind me and gently placed his hands on my hips, kissing the back of my neck. "You look beautiful."

"You don't look so bad yourself." I whispered, leaning back into him. He kissed my neck again, eliciting a small moan from me. I looked at the clock we had in the bathroom, and I knew we'd be late if we did anything, but at that moment, I didn't care. We were in a kidless house for once, so I turned around in his arms and crashed my lips into his.

"We're gonna be late." He reminded me as I kissed his jawline, unbuttoning his blue shirt.

"Don't care." I whispered, pushing his shirt off his shoulders. He gripped my hips tighter, picked me up and set me on the counter. He pressed his lips against mine as I shaded my jean jacket and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck again.

"Fuck, no kids in the house is awesome." Edward said in between kisses as he kissed his way down my neck. He pulled the top of my dress down, revealing the swell of my breasts and licked his lips. He kissed the top of my breasts as I tried undoing his belt, but failed. I jumped off the counter, and raised my arms over my head, telling him to remove my dress.

But, just as he'd thrown my dress on the floor, my phone began ringing.

"We're not even late yet." I wined when I saw Alice's name on my screen. "Hello?" I asked as Edward came up behind me, kissing my neck...completely working me up.

"Bella?" Alice cried. "I think I'm having contractions and Jasper is stuck in traffic."

"You're having contractions?" I asked, shoving Edward off of me. "It's too early."

"Please just come." She breathed.

"Where are Rosalie and Emmett?" I asked as Edward walked into the bathroom to grab his shirt. I put her on speaker and grabbed my dress of the floor and pulled it back on.

"They were out all day and told us they'd just meet us at the restaurant." She whispered as Edward came out of the bathroom with my jacket in his hands.

"Okay, we'll be there soon, Alice." I assured her. "Just stay calm."

"Nice time," Edward laughed, trying to ease some of the tension as I grabbed my purse.

"It could be braxton hicks...but it could be real labor." I sighed as we made our way downstairs. Edward sent Jasper a text, telling him to meet us at the hospital as he grabbed his keys. We made our way over to their house and when I went inside to get Alice, she was sitting on the couch, sobbing.

"It's gonna be okay." I whispered, grabbing her arm and helping her off of the couch. I got her in the backseat, but her sobs didn't die down. I knew she was afraid of having this baby too early since she was born two months early, and had almost died in the NICU because she just wasn't developing.

When we got there, she was admitted and brought up to labor and delivery. When I called Jasper to see where he was, he told me there was a three car accident and wasn't sure how much longer he'd be sitting in traffic for. I held Alice's hand while Edward got ahold of Carlisle, begging him to come in and do anything he could for Alice.

Unfortunately, since Carlisle no longer worked for the hospital, he wasn't able to do anything.

"I'm so scared." Alice cried as we waited for her doctor to show up. "I don't want to lose this baby. Jasper will never forgive me."

"Hey," I whispered, squeezing her hand. "This could be false labor."

"It feels real." She sobbed, covering her face with her hands.

"Yeah, my false labor felt very real with Paige." I assured her. "Let's not assume the worse."

"Hi, Alice." Her doctor greeted as she came into the room. "We're going to check you out. Where's Jasper?"

"Stuck in traffic." She answered, taking a deep breath.

"Okay, well everyone needs to..."

"They can stay." She was quick to say. "Please, don't go anywhere."

"We won't." Edward assured her, grabbing her other hand. The doctor grabbed her stool and did a routine exam on her, and started to smile.

"How long have you been having these contractions, Alice?" She asked, removing her gloves and washing her hands.

"A few hours.

"Well, I have some good news." She smiled. "With active labor, your cervix would have dilated by now, even if it was very slight."

"So, she isn't in labor?" I asked, squeezing her hand.

"No, these are Branxton Hicks contractions." The doctor smiled as the door swung open. Jasper walked in, looking completely flustered and worried. "I was just telling Alice that she is not in labor today."

"Thank god." He cried as Edward and I stepped back, giving them their space.

"But, I do recommend that you start taking it easy." Dr. Gear said, making me laugh. Alice never took it easy. "And I'm going to keep you here overnight, just to be sure."

"Thanks, Dr. Gear." Alice smiled, putting her head to Jaspers. Just as Dr. Gear was exiting the room, I saw Rosalie and Emmett walking towards the room. They looked worried, but they could tell everything was okay by the way Alice and Jasper were acting.

"We brought food." Emmett laughed, holding up the Wendy's bags.

"Good, I'm starving." Alice laughed, taking one of the bigger bags from Emmett. "Oooo you got the spicy chicken!"

"Alice, we brought everything because we had no idea what you like these days." Rosalie laughed, distributing the rest of the bags to us. "So, I know this wasn't exactly what we had planned for tonight, but Emmett and I have some news."

"Your'e moving here?" Edward asked excitedly, but was immediately turned down.

"Rosalie's pregnant." Emmett smiled, and both Jasper and Edward dropped what was in their hands.

"Again?" Jasper asked, moving to Emmett to give him a hug.

"I'm about two months." Rosalie smiled.

"Did you two know?" Edward asked, looking between Alice and I. I nodded my head and they both just rolled their eyes. "Of course you knew."

"We know everything, babe." I smiled, wrapping my arm around his waist.


	11. A Few More Hours

**Chapter Eleven: A Few More Hours**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

Saying goodbye to Emmett and Rosalie was proving to be a lot harder than I had originally thought. I knew they had their life in Seattle and weren't going to uproot that like we had, but it still sucked seeing them go, knowing we wouldn't be seeing them until at least Thanksgiving. I was just thankful they were able to come for even a short time.

But, once they were gone, it was time to get back to reality. I went back to doing all kinds of research and making calls to try and find someone...anyone who would do Dad's surgery. No one knew I was going it, but it really wasn't doing any harm and I was determined to have my Dad around for as long as possible. Plus, I knew everyone was under the illusion that nothing could be done and I refused to have that mind set.

But, as the days went by, Dad just got sicker. The cancer continued to slowly spread and the chemotherapy just made him feel nauseous. I hated seeing him like this. He'd never looked so small to me before, and it was unsettling. Plus, we had managed to narrow down the new practice owner to three people. That was also just so strange to me. Dad had worked his entire life to own his practice and now he was practically giving it away to some stranger.

Finally, after months of contacting different surgeons, I finally found one who was willing to meet with my Dad. He told me he couldn't make any promises, but he would do a consult with him. He was the best oncologist in Pennsylvania, and when I looked up his work, he had graduated top of his class from Yale. I made the arrangements for him to come to Chicago and just went about my life as normal as possible.

Ava had decided that when she got to high school next year, she wanted to play soccer. She told us that she wanted to adjust to this school before doing any sports, especially since the girls on the team had already bonded over their years on the middle school team. And, because I was the one who'd encouraged her to do sports, I went with the field with her at least once a week to help her practice.

"Dad, can I talk to you about something?" I asked as we sat together on the back deck at his house. Fall was definitely close and the Chicago air was crisp, and it was really nice being able to sit out here with him. I knew this was his favorite spot in the house.

"Sure." He sighed, looking out to our huge backyard.

"I've been doing some research,"

"Edward," He warned.

"And I found a doctor who is willing to come and give you a consult and see if he can try to operate."

"Why can't you just leave this be?" He asked, turning to look at me.

"Why can't I just sit and watch you die?" I asked, taken back. "Because you're my Dad and I don't want to lose you yet."

"Eventually you will lose me, Edward." He shook his head. "People don't live forever."

"It doesn't mean that you should have to die so young!"

"Son," He whispered. "I've lived a good life. I've come to peace with this, why can't you?"

"Because it's really hard watching your hero withering away to nothing." I admitted. "Just meet with the guy, what could it hurt?"

"Edward,"

"Please." I begged. "Please do this for me. It could work, Dad. You don't know. He could be the miracle everyone has been praying for."

"Okay," He reluctantly agreed. "I'll meet with him and see what he has to say."

"Thank..."

"But you are not coming with me to this appointment." He ordered. "This will be just your mother and I."

"Dad,"

"That's the deal I'm making, Edward." He shrugged. "Take it or call the doctor and cancel the appointment."

"Okay, deal." I sighed, looking back out to the yard.

When I got home, I told Bella the good news. However, just like my Dad, she didn't take it particularly well. She told me that I needed to start respecting my Dad's wishes and I just told her that she'd do the same if it was Charlie who was sick. She couldn't deny it and she just told me she didn't want to keep getting into arguments about this. So, the subject changed to what Ava had done in school earlier that day. Apparently, she got into a verbal fight with one of the girls who was taunting her about Jake.

"How do they even know?" I asked as I knelt down next to the tub while Bella gave Paige a bath.

"She probably was telling someone and the girl overheard." She shrugged. "God, I do not miss middle school one bit."

"I kinda liked it..."

"Of course you did." She giggled. "You were probably one of those kids who actually looked good and had everything he wanted."

"Not everything." I argued. "I didn't get the newest version of the Game Boy since my old one worked perfectly fine."

"Poor baby." She nudged me. Once our daughter was clean, I pulled her out of the tub and wrapped her in a pink, fluffy towel. I carried her into the nursery and got her in a diaper and a pair of PJ's before sitting down in the rocking chair.

"Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high." I softly sang, rocking her back and forth. "There's a land that heard of, once in a lullaby." I heard her softly yawn as I continued to sing and rock her back and forth. Once her breathing was heavy, I kissed the top of her head and gently picked her up, placing her in her crib.

I looked down at her and couldn't help but smile. Even after all these months, she still took my breath away and I was still completely captivated by her. I watched her sleep for a few minutes before tiptoeing to the door and carefully shutting it. I walked down the hall towards the stairs and when I passed Ava's room she had a book open on her lap but she wasn't reading it.

"You okay?" I asked as I walked into her room. She broke out of her trance and nodded, trying to pretend nothing was wrong, just like her Mom. "Hey, I know you pretty well, kid. What's going on?"

"I guess..." She trailed off. "I'm just kind of starting to miss home."

"I miss Seattle too." I told her.

"But, this is your home?" She questioned.

"This is where I grew up, but I have always consisted Seattle my home." I smiled. "That's where I really started my life."

"It was really nice having Rose and Emmett here, but having them here made me want Pap and Grandma here." She turned away from me. "And Dad."

"You know, we aren't keeping him from you." I reminded her. "You can call him..."

"I miss the Dad who came to visit me all the way from Florida and who told me I was his entire world." She snapped. "I don't miss the Dad who forgets about me and cares more about that pitiful girlfriend."

"Okay," I said, raising my hands up in defeat. "I'm just reminding you, you don't have to cut yourself off from him."

"Thanks," She nodded, picking up _The Giver_ again. Just as I was standing up to leave, she spoke up again. "What would you do?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, sitting down again.

"If this was you and your Dad." She whispered. "What would you do if your parents had never been together and your Dad was kind of a jerk?"

"I'd be angry, just like you." I told her. "But, I think there would come a point where I realized that..." I stopped, wondering if Bella would want me to say this. "That when I was born, he could have had nothing to do with me and went on his way without ever knowing me."

"You think my Dad was going to do that?" She asked sadly.

"I think thats always a possibility with any parent." I assured her. "I think your Dad is an asshole who has made some major mistakes when it came to being your Dad."

"But?"

"But I also think he loves you a whole lot and misses you like crazy."

"So you think I should call him?"

"I think you should do whatever you want." I winked. "But, don't let what you think your Mom and I want stay in your way." I winked, leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead and got up to leave.

"I love you, Edward." She whispered, picking up her book again.

"I love you too, kiddo." I said and shut her door.

* * *

A week later, I went into work but didn't really pay attention at all. I spent the say teaching, but if you asked me at the end of the day what I taught, I wouldn't have been able to answer you. It was the day my parents were going in to see the surgeon from Pennsylvania and every time the phone rang, I prayed it was them calling with the good news. I could tell my students knew something was up, so I ended up giving them a lot of busy work since I clearly wasn't up for teaching.

When I got home, Bella told me there hadn't been a call yet. I took Paige into the living room and absentmindedly played with her on the floor, but I was even distracted with her. Finally, right after dinner time, the phone rang and I was so excited to answer it, I dropped the pot that I was drying on the floor, causing a huge bang.

"Hello?" I asked over Paige's screams since I'd scared her when I dropped the pot.

"He said he is going to try surgery." Dad cried and I felt my knees go weak and I fell to the floor. "He can't promise anything, but he said he was going to see what's going on."

"So, it might not work still?" I asked.

"Right." He sighed. "But, he's the only one who wants to get an actual look and not just look at the PET scans." He explained.

"When are you scheduling the surgery?" I asked as Bella came over to me with Paige in her arms. I reached out and grabbed her little hand and kissed it, apologizing for scaring her.

"Next weekend so that no one has to take off work."

"What time?"

"I'll go in for surgery at ten in the morning." He explained. "Please, don't get your hopes up."

"Dad, this is good. He must have seen something that other doctors didn't, which means he's probably a better doctor anyway.

"Yes, well I'll see you all for dinner tomorrow night." He said and hung up the phone. Bella looked at me and I just smiled at her. For the first time since June, I had hope that my Dad could make it through this cancer.

Bella and I both put Paige to bed that night and let Ava stay up late to watch a movie with us. Knowing someone was at least willing to give my Dad a chance just gave me this unbelievable energy and I just wanted to celebrate. But, in the back of my mind, I knew there was still a chance this doctor couldn't do anything. I didn't want to celebrate too early, but I just couldn't help but feeling helpful.

After checking on Paige and making sure Ava was asleep, I headed to our bedroom where I heard Bella showering. I smiled to myself, undressed myself, and headed into the bathroom. She was singing softly to herself like she always did when she was in a good mood, and I pulled the shower curtain back causing her to jump.

"Umm, hello." She smiled as I stepped in with her.

"The girls are asleep." I smirked, leaning down and pressing my lips to hers. She moaned in my mouth as she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and I pushed her up against the tiles. My hands roamed up her naked stomach and when they finally got to her breasts, she whimpered.

"Yes," She sighed as I gently rubbed my thumbs over her nipples. I started kissing my way down her jawline, to her neck, and finally I let my mouth gently bite down around one of her nipples, while my other hand gently kneaded the other. She was started to squirm, making me impossibly harder.

"You're so fucking hot." I told her as my hand traveled back down her stomach and finally reaching her clit. She gasped as my thumb started making slow, circles around it and it didn't take long for her to come. I picked her up by her shaky legs and pinned her to the shower wall.

"Please," She begged and I knew just what she wanted. I gave her a wicked smile as she reached down in between us and grabbed my impossibly hard cock. She positioned me at her wet entrance and I thrust in, making both of us moan in pleasure. It had been way too long since we we re together like this. Don't get me wrong, we had a pretty healthy sex life, but we hadn't been this passionate and raw with each other for a long time.

"I'm gonna come, Bella." I moaned into her mouth as my thrusts became more demanding. I reached down and flicked her clit and that was all she needed. She screamed as my lips met her and I came inside her. It took a few seconds for us to both come down from our highs and when I put her back down, she had a hard time finding her footing. I caught her before she fell backwards and held her up until we were both able to move.

I reached behind me and turned the shower off and picked her up in my arms. I carried her to our bed and gently sat her down before grabbing us two towels. We quickly dried off, got into our PJs, and climbed into bed.

"I'm sorry if I haven't been supportive." She whispered as I brought her close to my side.

"What?" I chuckled. "Moving here was plenty supportive."

"I know, but I keep telling you to basically give up." She said. "And I don't want you to ever give up on your father, but I just don't want you to go crazy trying to keep him alive."

"If this surgery doesn't work..." I trailed off. "I'll calm down. I'll try harder to accept what's going to happen."

"I love your Dad, I hope you know that."

"I do." I nodded.

"And, I love you."

"I love you more." I smiled, leaning down and kissing the top of her head.

The next week passed by full of tension between my parents and I. Mom didn't like the fact that Dad was hopeful again since they'd both come to terms with his illness. Dad was mad at Mom for not having more hope about what the new doctor was telling him. And they were both pissed at me for going behind their back and making the appointment without either of them knowing about it. But, I couldn't be mad at myself. Dad was my hero and there was no way in hell I was going to let him die without doing everything I could.

When Saturday finally arrived, Alice and Jasper came over to take care of the girls so we could with my Mom. Once they got to the house, we said our goodbyes and headed to the hospital. Since we'd gotten a late start since Paige refused to eat, Dad was ready to go down to surgery by the time we'd gotten there. He reminded me not to get my hopes up and I just told him to keep the faith, which is something he always told me when I was in high school.

Mom was fidgety the entire time we sat in the waiting room. She knew as much as I did that this could be the miracle we'd been waiting for. She was trying not to get her hopes up, but I knew she was praying for this work just as much as I was. I tried to calm her nerves, but after a while, my nerves were also running high. Bella did what she could, but eventually just gave up and held my hands.

After what seemed like forever, the doctor came out of the double doors, looking defeated. I knew before he had said anything that it didn't work. Surgery wasn't going to work and he was going to die in a year and a half. He apologized again and again as he lead us back to the room Dad was recovering in. He was sleeping and when I looked at him, I knew it was my fault. It was my fault that I had pushed and I was overcome with this sense of guilt.

"This is my fault." I cried as Mom sat beside him, holding his hand. "I shouldn't have pushed."

"You were just trying to help." Bella soothed, rubbing my back.

"But I got everyone's hope up for nothing."

"You're right." Mom snapped and I could see my Dad's eyes fluttering open.

"Esme," He croaked.

"You did get everyone's hopes up for nothing." She said. "Why couldn't you have just left it alone?"

"Why couldn't I have given up on him like you did?" My words cut like a knife.

"Edward." Bella whispered.

"I'm sorry I'm just not as okay with him dying as you are, Mom."

"You think I'm okay with this?" She asked, standing up and crossed her arms. "You think I'm okay with the fact that I'm going to lose the love of my life?"

"Well, you weren't doing anything!"

"We did everything, Edward." She told me. "Before we told you we did all kinds of research and went to all kinds of doctors." She explained. "Just because we eventually accepted what was going to happen doesn't mean we were giving up."

"Stop," Dad huffed under his breath.

"This is not my fault." I argued.

"If you would have just listened for once in your life, we wouldn't be reliving the worst day ever again." She seethed. "Because you couldn't listen, we got our hopes up again and now we're back to square one."

"This is not my fucking fault." I growled.

"Edward, let's go take a walk." Bella tugged on my arm, pulling me out of the room.


	12. Stuck in Reverse

**Chapter Twelve: Stuck in Reverse**

* * *

 **Bella's POV**

"Are you crazy?" I asked as I pulled Edward away from his fathers hospital room. "Yelling at your Mom like that?"

"I didn't mean to." He argued, and I rolled my eyes. He sounded like Ava when she did something she wasn't supposed to do when she was little. "I just exploded."

"This is hard enough on her already." I reminded him. "You don't need to go rubbing it in her face."

"I'm not trying to rub it in her face!" He exclaimed, leaning against the hospital wall. "I just want our daughter to know her Grandpa."

"I do too." I cried. "And it isn't wrong for you to want to help and for you to want everyone to absolutely everything they can for your Dad." I said, reaching up and cupping his cheek. "But, your Mom has a point. They'd accepted what was going to happen and you...you wouldn't let it go. You wouldn't accept it."

"It's hard to accept that I'm going to lose my Dad way sooner than I thought I would." He cried, a tear streaming down his cheek.

"I know." I whispered. "But sometimes, babe, you just have to."

"This sucks." He finally admitted. For the last four months, he had been avoiding this kind of conversation. He hadn't admitted how much he hated the situation or how hard it was. I felt like it was finally hitting him and he was finally getting it. "This fucking sucks!"

"Yeah." I agreed, wrapping my arms around his neck. "But, you can't be fighting with your Mom now. You two need each other more than ever."

"I crused at her." He laughed. "I've never talked like that to her before...not even in high school."

"You were mad." I sighed. "She was mad. Things were said, but sticks and stones."

"I may have well have thrown a brick at her." He scoffed. "She's gonna be so pissed."

"Yeah, she will be." I agreed. "But, go in there and apologize."

"You aren't coming?" He asked as I backed away from him.

"You need to be with them. By yourself."

"How am I gonna get home?"

"Figure it out, Edward." I laughed, giving him a kiss on the cheek and turning to walk away. I made my way to my car and then headed to home to relieve Alice of her babysitting duties. When I got home, however, she was passed out on the couch and Ava was playing with Paige on the floor.

"I think Paige wore Alice out." Ava laughed, picking the baby up and handing her to me. "She was good for a while and then we put on Little Einsteins and she fell asleep."

"Thank you for keeping an eye on her while Alice slept." I whispered, kissing Paige's cheek.

"I'm gonna go kick the ball around out back!" She called, pulling her jacket on and opened the back door. I put Paige back down on the floor and went over to shake Alice.

"Louis Vuitton!" She cried as she woke up. "Crap, I fell asleep."

"Yeah, good job." I laughed. "Ava took over for you once you fell asleep."

"I'm so sorry, I'm just so pooped lately."

"You're eight months pregnant." I reminded her. "I'd be surprised if you didn't fall asleep after chasing Paige around all afternoon."

"Where's Ava?" She asked. "Oh no, I've lost your daughter."

"She's out back playing soccer." I laughed, shoving her shoulder a little. She was at the point where she was just super irrational and kind of ditzy. It was funny though because both times she made fun of me when I got to this point.

"Right, you said that." She rolled her eyes. "How'd everything go today?"

"It...didn't." I sighed as my phone started to ring. I pulled it out of my pocket when I smiled when I saw Rosalie was calling to FaceTime. I opened my phone and held it out so she could see both of us. "Hey, Rose!"

"Alice! You're there!" She said excitedly. "How're you feeling?"

"She fell asleep babysitting my kids." I laughed.

"Oh, being eight months pregnant is great." Rosalie said sarcastically. "How'd everything go today, Bella? Emmett tried calling Edward but he isn't picking up."

"The doctor told us everything that the other doctors have been saying." I shrugged. "There isn't anything he can do because the cancer has spread so much."

"Oh, Bella." Alice sighed, rubbing my back.

"And then Edward and Esme got into a huge fight." I told them.

"Really?" Rose asked. "They have like the perfect relationship."

"Yep, but she was pissed off that he went digging where his nose didn't belong." I told them. "She said that they had done all the research and seen a bunch of doctors before they told Edward, and they had accepted what was going to happen."

"So, Edward gave them false hope." Alice finished.

"Basically." I nodded. "I mean, we shouldn't have gotten our hopes up because of what everyone else said, but I guess we just thought this doctor would be different."

"How's Carlisle?"

"He was waking up when the two of them got into the fight." I said. "And he didn't know that the surgery hadn't worked and they told him buy fighting about it."

"As distant as my parents are, I really hope we never have to deal with this." Alice said with a sad smile.

"No one should have to go through with this." I shook my head. "When I left, Edward was going in to apologize to his Mom."

"Good," Rosalie nodded and the smiled. "I know this is totally awful timing but I have awesome news."

"You're moving here?" Alice asked excitedly. I knew that until we were all back together, no one would stop asking that question.

"No, sorry." Rosalie said sadly. "But, Sam is finally pregnant."

"Stop it!" Alice laughed. "Mike's finally gonna have a kid?"

"You're one to talk." I shoved her. "You just got pregnant."

"Yeah, but Mike being a Dad just sounds so strange." Alice laughed. "How's he taking it?"

"Oh, he's over the moon excited." Rose answered. "He already has a theme for the nursery and is picking out baby names from one of those books."

"If it's a girl, he should totally go with Isabella." I joked. "It's timeless."

"You hate the name Isabella." Rose reminded me.

"Shut up." I shook my head. "Speaking of names, have you and Jasper picked one yet, Alice?"

'Yes, but I pinky promised I'd keep it a secret since I failed miserably at keeping the gender a secret."

"Just as long as you didn't let him pick it all by himself." Rosalie laughed as we heard a giant crash on her side. "Oh jeeze, Hunter's gotten into something. I gotta go. Bye guys!"

"Love you!" Alice and I called as she hung up. After we talked for a little bit longer, she headed out so she could take a real nap before Jasper got home from the practice. He'd been looking hard for another job, but what he had at Carlisle's was just too nice and stable to leave. Carlisle promised him the job for as long as he needed and I had a feeling he was going to stay there, even if it wasn't exactly where he wanted to work.

After playing with Paige for a while, I put the gate up so I could start dinner. I was too exhausted for anything fancy so I just through some chicken breasts on the grill and boiled some potatoes to mash. By the time I was tossing the salad and the chicken was done grilling, I heard the garage door and Edward was finally home. When he came through the door, he grabbed Paige from her gated area and carried her into the kitchen.

"Mom and I are good." He smiled at me as he sat down at the island. "It's just so...stressful."

"I get it." I nodded, walking over and giving him a kiss. "Ava's out back if you wanna go kick the ball around with her."

"I'm done." Ava laughed as she walked through the back door. "It got too cold. Can I help?"

"You wanna mash the potatoes?" I asked, handing her the masher. Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and grabbed the masher from me and went to town. I always told her to figure out a way that she can get her aggression out so she wouldn't lash out at people and she always told me that mashing the potatoes helped her.

"How's Carlisle?" Ava asked as Edward tried to get Paige to eat some cut up chicken.

"He's doing well." Edward said. "He's recovering, but if he's feeling up to it, you could probably come to the hospital tomorrow and see him."

'I'd like that." She nodded. "Can we bring Paige?"

"No, it's too dangerous for her being at the hospital." I explained. "But, when he's out we'll be sure to bring her over to their house."

"Awesome." She smiled as Paige shoved the chicken away from Edward. She was definitely a much more difficult baby than Ava was, especially with eating. She loved fruit and Cheerios, but she obviously could live on that forever. Edward kept trying, and eventually she ended up eating the chicken. I just prayed this was something she'd grow out of soon.

I looked over at her at Paige as Edward wiped her and couldn't believe that she'd be ten months in two weeks. It was crazy how fast the time had gone and how much easier it was having Edward around. My parents did what they could toe help with Ava, but she was my responsibility. I wanted them to know I could handle it and I never wanted them getting up in the middle of the night with me. Plus, as helpful as they were, Edward was just so good with Paige it was incredible to watch.

He was a Dad through and through.

"How's your Dad really doing?" I asked as we cuddled up on the couch after Ava had gone to get her shower and Paige was sleeping.

"He's a little disappointed, but I don't think he was expecting anything." He sighed. "I think he was kind of expecting for it to not work."

"And Esme?" I asked.

"She's more upset than Dad." He said, looking at the ground. "Was I wrong to push?"

"I think your heart was in the right place."

"But?"

"But, you Dad did make it clear that he was okay." I shrugged. "But, I probably would have done the same thing if it was my Dad who was sick."

"Okay, so I have a thought."

"Oh no."

"I was thinking...what if Dad had a liver transplant."

"Edward, I don't think they give new livers to people who have cancer." I told him. "It'd be a waste of a liver."

"But, if I gave him my liver then maybe it would buy hime time."

"Edward, just let him go."

"This is it." He said. "If it doesn't work, I'll let him. I'll let him...die in peace."

"You think he's going to go for it?"

"I wasn't going to say anything until I knew I could give him my liver." He shrugged, looking a the floor. "I might not be a match and if I'm not then I won't say anything."

"Edward." I cried, leaning over and putting my face in my hand. "You're making this so hard on everyone. And what if you do give him the liver...I need you around here. I can't have you recovering for six weeks. And what about work?"

"Bella, please."

"I'm sorry." I shook my head. "But, if you decide to get tested then you're on your own. I can't keep doing this, Edward." I told him as I stood up and walked upstairs.

* * *

"Am I missing something, Jasper?" I asked as I helped him paint the nursery since Alice couldn't be around the paint fumes and Edward was busy with his Dad. "I mean, I know how much he loves his Dad, but this is getting out of hand."

"I don't," He shook his head, rolling the roller through the paint. "I mean, they're close. They're definitely closer than I am to my Dad."

"He's just so set in his ways that there is way to cure Carlisle." I explained. "Is he being stubborn?"

"Yeah, but I also think he's just in a denial." He shrugged. "Edward's never dealt with this kind of thing before. He's never lose anyone he really cared about. The only person that he's loved that died was Maria, and that's very different from losing a parent."

"How did you deal with it?" I asked. Jasper never talked about Maria in front of me because I knew he was scared I'd tell Alice and she's get mad. The things I knew about Maria were because Edward had told me. "Losing Maria?"

"I didn't deal with it for a long time." He said sadly. "It took a long time to even stat grieving her death and then, it took a long time for me to heal." He told me. "I mean, that's why it took me so long to ask Alice out."

"You felt guilty, didn't you?" I asked and he just nodded. "Edward told me a lot about what happened when we first started dating."

"The only thing the helped ease the pain was having my friends around." He told me. "Without Emmett and Jasper, I probably wouldn't have made it and I definitely wouldn't be married to Alice right now."

"I'm trying to be supportive." I tried assuring him. "But...he's making it so difficult. He's relentless."

"That's just who he is." He shrugged, refilling the paint tray. "Edward wants to save everyone, which is why he made the choice to not follow in his parents footsteps. He was smart enough to know that no matter how hard he worked, he wouldn't be able to save everyone who was sick and he wouldn't be able to save everyone from prison."

"So he went into teaching."

"He says he went into teaching because of the community service hours we had to do to graduate, but I know him." He said. "He did it because he knew that if a kid was in trouble, there was always something he could do to help them."

"It's putting a strain on our marriage." I whispered.

"He knows." He shook his head. "Trust me, he knows the strain it's putting on you guys."

"Then why does he keep doing it?"

"Because, as much as he loves you...his Dad will always come first." Jasper said softly, not meeting my gaze. "He doesn't want to choose between you guys, but I know his parents are the most important people in his life."

"What would you do?" I asked. "If it was Alice in this position."

"I'd support her." He told me. "I'd try and talk some sense into her, but eventually, I'd have to realize that she's stubborn and kind and passionate."

"Guys, it looks great!" Alice gushed from the door. "Oh, no. Was this the right blue?"

"Yes!" Jasper and I laughed since this was the second time we were painting the nursery. At first, she said she wanted to go with a neutral color, but then decided she hated the color green.

"It's perfect." Jasper said, walking over to her and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Now, get out before you inhale too many paint fumes."

"I'm going!" She laughed and turned, waddling out of the room.

"Am I a terrible person for not supporting him with this whole donating his liver thing?" I asked, turning back to Jasper. "His parents were pretty clear that they didn't want anymore help..."

"I can't tell you how to feel or what to do, Bella." He spoke softly, his inner psychologist coming out. "I can tell you that he just wants to help and he can't help himself. I can tell you that somehow you guys will work it out."

"I wish there was an easy fix." I sighed, sitting down on the covered floor. "I wish the cancer Carlisle has wasn't so hard to detect and that they would have found it easier."

"Me too." Jasper whispered, sitting next to me. "We're putting shelves on either side of the window. And then we each have some things from our nursery to put on them."

"Nice subject change." I laughed, laying down. "You two are going to make great parents." I whispered as he lied down next to me. "You're going to make a great Dad."

"I hope so." He smiled. Jasper and I had bonded a lot of the years that we'd known each other. He was definitely easier to talk to Emmett since his attention span was longer than Emmett's, but he was just so kind and always knew what to say. He was always willing to help with Ava if Alice was watching her and he never got mad when Ava and I came first. I was so happy that my best friend had found someone as great as he was.

"Trust me." I smiled. "You're a natural."

"What's going on?" I heard Edward ask as I sat up.

"Oh, we're just talking about how we're going to run away together." Jasper laughed. "Hope you don't mind."

"Funny, cause Alice and I have been planning the same thing." Edward nudged Jasper, but then his expression turned sad.

"It won't work, will it?" I asked, walking closer to him.

"No, we don't have the same blood type." He said sadly. "Dad's going to die." He cried and I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist.


	13. Time Falls Away

**Chapter Thirteen: Time Falls** **Away**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

The month leading up to Thanksgiving was a hard month, but it was one of the best we'd had since moving to Chicago. I had finally let myself come to terms with how sick my Dad was and although it was hard, it was needed. Jasper told me that living in denial was just tearing everyone apart and he was right. It was causing unnecessary arguments between my parents and I, and more importantly, my marriage was suffering because of it.

So, to help focus my sadness and anger, I started running again. It was something I always did in high school to cope with things and just to meditate. It felt great to just put my earphones in and run away from things...or run towards something better. Wherever I was running, it was definitely a good thing to start doing again. It was hard at first, especially with school, but getting up and going on a run each morning made my days better.

With Thanksgiving in only a few days, Bella and I were all over the place trying to plan. Her parents, along with Emmett and Rosalie were coming for the week and we had a lot to do. Since Alice was so close to her due date, there was no way they could have dinner at their place so we planned for it to be at our house, which we'd never done before. We switched off holidays once we were serious, and we were always at my parents or hers. We'd never hosted before, and this was very new to both of us. But, both my Mother and Renee offered to help Bella with the dinner and I knew that helped elevate the pressure.

"Babe!" I called up the steps, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. "I'm going to get your parents at the airport!"

"Someone has to stay with the baby!" She squealed, running down the steps. "Alice called."

"Is it time?" I asked excitedly.

"It could be false labor, but they're on their way to the hospital." She said. "Can you take Paige with you?"

"Yeah, I'll take her." I sighed, grabbing her arm and pulling her back. I pressed a kiss on her lips before letting her go to her best friend. I took a deep breath and picked Paige up and headed to the car. I strapped her in and headed into the city towards the airport. When I got there, Charlie and Renee were waiting patiently at the curb.

"My baby!" Renee squealed when she saw Paige sitting in her carseat. "I didn't know you were bringing her."

"Alice might be in labor." I told her, helping Charlie with the bags. "So, Bella needed to go be with her."

"Awe, Alice." Renee cried, and I knew it was just like her daughter was having a baby. Bella's parents had always been there for Alice, way more than her own parents. It was almost the kind of relationship Emmett had with my Dad. Charlie hopped up front with me so Renee could play with the baby in the back.

When we pulled into the driveway, Bella's car was already back. Alice either wasn't in labor yet, or she'd kicked Bella out. We got inside and Ava nearly knocked the two of them over when she hugged them. It was the first time she'd seen them since we moved out here in June and I knew how desperate she was to see them. Bella nearly made me cry when she hugged them for the first time in months.

"How's Alice?" Charlie asked as he played with Paige on the floor.

"False labor." She sighed. "The doctor did say that it could be any day though."

"Watch, he'll be born on Thanksgiving." Renee laughed as Ava rested her head on her shoulder. "When are the McCarty's getting here?"

"Later tomorrow." I told them. "Rose had a big project she needed to get done before the holidays."

"How is she doing with this pregnancy?" Renee asked, finally taking Paige from Charlie.

"She says she's feeling a lot better than she did with Hunter." Bella said. "She isn't nearly as sick with this one. She's in her second trimester already."

"This is weird." Renee whispered. "I mean, it was weird when you had Ava, but now all three of you are married and having babies."

"I still feel like you guys are still playing house." Charlie said distantly and I was pretty sure he hadn't meant to say it out loud. "Just saying."

The rest of the night was just super relaxing. Having Bella's parents here was so much nicer than I could have ever dreamed, especially since Renee wanted to do everything for Paige. It was also nice to give Bella a sense of familiarity. As much as she was liking Chicago, I knew how much she missed Seattle and everyone there.

The next day, Jasper and I went to the airport to pick up Emmett and Rosalie while Bella stayed with Alice. Jasper said that Alice kept getting angry at him, accusing him of 'doing this' to her and that he wanted to give her some space. We parked the car and headed inside to help Emmett with their bags since we knew he wouldn't let Rose lift a finger. When they finally got to baggage, Emmet put Hunter down and let him run over to us. Jasper knelt down and picked him up, throwing him over his head.

"How was your flight?" I asked, giving Rosalie a hug.

"Long." She sighed. "He's getting harder and harder to travel with."

"How's Carlisle?" Emmett asked as we walked over to the luggage belt and waited.

"It was a good month." I smiled sadly.

"Edward finally started dealing with it." Jasper interjected as he gave Hunter back to Rosalie once the belt starting moving.

"Jasper, shut up." I hit him in the arm and he only shrugged. I knew he was right but I didn't need him broadcasting it. Once we had all the bags, I set up Hunter's carseat while they put their things in the trunk. By the time we got back on the road and got home, Hunter was passed out.

"I got him, babe." Emmett offered as she reached to unbuckle him after we'd pulled up to Jasper and Alice's house. He grabbed Hunter as Jasper and I got their bags, and we headed into the dark house. Bella was sitting in the recliner chair, reading a magazine with only one lamp to give her light. Alice was passed out on the couch and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Hey!" Bella gushed quietly as she got up and hugged Rose. "Have you felt any kicks yet?" She asked placing her hand on Rosalie's small baby bump.

"Not yet, but I just hit seventeen weeks." She shrugged. "What'd you do to her?"

"This baby is kicking the crap out of her." Bella laughed, giving Emmett a hug and then taking Hunter from him. I went upstairs and help set up the pack-n-play for Hunter since Alice could have the baby at any second, they wanted the crib to be perfect for him. When we got back downstairs, Alice was awake, but she wasn't sitting up.

"Why won't he come out?" She cried as Jasper rubbed her back.

"He will eventually." Jasper whispered.

"I hate you for doing this to me." She cried, grabbing a pillow and covering her face with it. Bella and I decided to leave them and get back to our girls since Charlie and Renee had been watching them all afternoon. When we got home, our house was spotless and I knew Renee spent the day cleaning up for us. I was extremely grateful because we were both exhausted. Everyone was already asleep, Ava included, and we decided that we had a big day tomorrow and just crawled into bed.

By the time I woke up the next morning, Bella was already downstairs in the kitchen. When I got out of the shower and got dressed, I could smell cinnamon rolls from our bedroom and I licked my lips unintentionally. No matter where we were on Thanksgiving, we always had cinnamon rolls for breakfast. When I walked into the kitchen Renee was doing something with the turkey and Bella was pulling the rolls out of the oven.

"Ava, wanna ice them?" She asked, setting the tray on the oven to cool.

"Yes!" She said excitedly.

"Where's Paige?" I asked after I'd given Bella a kiss.

"Living room with Dad." She smiled, leaning in and giving me another kiss. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving." I smiled, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room. Paige was sitting on Charlie's lap with Sesame Street on the TV. "Learning anything new, Charlie?"

"Oh yeah." He laughed. "This is riveting stuff."

"It's her favorite." I smiled, leaning down and kissing the top of Paige's head. "How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty well." He answered as he stared at the TV.

"You okay, Charlie?" I asked, reaching for the remote and turning it down. Paige fussed, but when I gave her one of her toys, she was distracted again.

"Just, holding this one and loving on her..." He trailed off. "It just makes me realize what's really important in life."

"She's pretty great." I smiled down at her, chomping down on the plastic ring.

"I'm really sorry your Dad won't be here to see her grow up." He said, meeting my gaze. Charlie and I had always had a good relationship, but it had never been an emotional one. This was one of the nicest, and most emotional thing he'd ever said to me.

"Me too." I sighed sadly. "But, she makes even his worse days better. And that's what matters now, right?"

"Breakfast!" Ava called, and Charlie didn't answer my question. I picked her up and carried her to the kitchen, putting her in her high chair. I pulled apart part of a cinnamon roll for her and gave her banana pieces and she chowed down. I couldn't help but laugh at her, knowing that in a few hours when I tried to give her some turkey she'd fight me on it.

At eleven, the doorbell rang and I knew that it was my parents here to help Bella get dinner ready. I kept offering to help, but every time I offered, they insisted they had everything under control. So, I spent the afternoon with my Dad and Charlie, watching the Lions game. Ava sat with us since there wasn't anything else to do, but I could tell how bored she was, so I grabbed her and took her outside to kick the ball around.

At four, Bella called for Ava so she could get ready for dinner and I headed inside to clean up a bit. I washed my face off and got dressed for dinner. By the time I was done, everyone else had arrived and I had to give Alice an extra big hug. She looked even more miserable than she did when we left her the night before. We set Paige and Hunter up on the floor and watched as they played so well together. They were already on their way to being best friends, and it was kind of amazing that Emmett's kid and my kid were already close friends.

"How are you feeling, Alice?" Renee asked as Jasper helped her onto the couch.

"I'm been having contractions all afternoon." She complained and we all just stopped and stared at her. "It's nothing, my water hasn't broken and the doctor said this could happen."

"She's been great about it though." Jasper said supportively, rubbing her back.

"Shut up, Jasper." She snapped, and I had to hold in a laugh. I'd never seen her this short with him before. "Shit, I have to pee again." She wined and Emmett and Jasper both got up to help her stand up. We all watched her waddle up the stairs before bursting out into laughter. I knew it was wrong to laugh at her since she was in so much agony, but she was just a funny person in general.

"I think we may have found the next Mrs. McCarty." Renee gushed as Paige handed Hunter one of her toys.

"No, my daughter is never getting married." I told them. "She's going to be..."

"Jasper?" Alice asked from the hallway. "Jasper!"

"What's up?" He asked, turning to see her.

"My water just broke." She said with a shaky voice. "I think...I think we gotta go to the hospital now."

"Oh...wow..." Jasper took a deep breath, but didn't move. I nudged him and he finally got up and helped her into her coat. "Alice."

"What?" She cried and I could tell how scared she was.

"We're having a baby." He smiled and she just nodded as he handed her her purse. He turned to us, gave us a teeth grin, and headed to the car with Alice.

"Best Thanksgiving ever." Ava laughed as the timer went off.

"I guess we'll be cutting this short." Rose smiled as she went with Bella into the kitchen. We didn't want to speed through the dinner and the time we had with everyone, but we were all to excited that Alice was in labor. Once we were done, Renee told us not to worry about cleaning up and we headed off to the hospital. I was so thankful for Charlie and Renee because they also told us they'd watch the babies and Ava while we were at the hospital.

When we got to the hospital, Alice was already at four centimeters and in a lot of pain.

"It hurts." She wined as Bella took her hand and Jasper disappeared. "When can I get that epidural?"

"Soon, Alice." Bella smiled and I met Emmett's gaze, nodding my head towards the door. I knew Jasper was in freak out mode and he wasn't going to be any good to Alice until he'd calmed down. We went to find him and finally found him looking into the nursery.

"You okay?" Emmett asked as Jasper turned around.

"Do I look okay?" Jasper seethe angrily. "Alice is having a baby."

"You mean, you didn't know?" Emmett asked, trying to lighten the mood. But, by the look Jasper shot back at him, he was completely irrational and not in the mood for jokes.

"She's having a baby. She's actually about to push a human out of her vagina." He panted, leaning up against the wall. "I'm about to be a father. I'm about to be responsible for another persons life."

"You're gonna be great." I tried assuring him. "You're a natural with Paige and Hunter."

"That's different!" He argued. "They aren't my kids. When they cry or get fussy, I can hand them back to you guys."

"Jasper, if I can do it...then you can definitely be a Dad." Emmett smiled. "I mean, I was probably the least one likely to get married and have a kid. Look at me now."

"You are a pretty good Dad." Jasper agreed. "It's scary."

"Yep." I agreed. "But, it's the most wonderful and rewarding thing you'll ever do in your life."

"And, you're doing better than I did at this point when Rosalie went into labor with Hunter." Emmett laughed. "I threw up on the way to the hospital."

"I threw up when we got here." He smiled. "I can do this."

"You can." I nodded.

"We're gonna be good parents."

"You're going to be great parents." Emmett assured him and he was finally calming down.

"I should get back in there." He sighed. "Or I might never be able to have kids again."

"Don't worry, they don't let you keep knives anywhere near the labor room." Emmett laughed, clapping him on the back. When we got back to Alice's room, the doctor was finishing up an exam so Emmett and I stayed in the hallway with our wives while he went back inside. When Alice finally got her epidural, she was in a much better mood and wasn't yelling at everyone anymore.

The four of us spent most of the time in the waiting room, letting them have their space. They kept telling us to go home, but they'd been there all night when both Rose and Bella had the babies, and we weren't leaving. The clock slowly ticked by and when Renee asked us at eleven how things were going, Alice had only dilated one more centimeter. Eventually, I went out to the car and grabbed some blankets for Rosalie and Bella to cover themselves since the hospital was freezing.

"Coffee." Jasper begged as he came out to the waiting room at two in the morning.

"I'll go." Emmett offered, standing up and walking towards the cafeteria. Bella and Rosalie took this time to go be with Alice and Jasper slumped in the chair next to me.

"How's your hand?" I asked.

"It hurts." He sighed, laying his head against the wall.

"Uh-uh." I shook him. "You gotta stay up."

"You guys should go. Sleep in your own bed for those of us who can't."

"You think we're gonna convince Bella and Rose to leave Alice?" I asked and he just smiled. Emmett came back with coffee for all of us and after gulping it down, Jasper left us again to go be with his wife. Eventually, we all fell asleep waiting for the baby to be born, and I was kind of wishing we'd gone home and come back.

But, eventually, at seven forty-five in the morning, Jasper came out with the biggest smile on his face.

"He's here." He sighed and Emmett and I went over to hug him. Jasper was finally a Dad.


	14. Feels Good to be Alive

**Chapter Fourteen: Feels Good to be Alive**

* * *

 **Bella's POV**

"Jasper?" I heard Alice ask from the hallway. "Jasper!" She called again and I could hear the anxiety in her voice.

"What's up?" Jasper asked, turing towards us.

"My water just broke." She said, her voice shaking. "I think...I think we gotta go to the hospital now."

"Oh..." Jasper was panicking. "Wow." He said, standing up and grabbing her coat to help her get into it. "Alice?"

"What?" She cried and I was kind of unsure why she was so upset all of a sudden. She'd been waiting for the moment for a lot longer than nine months.

"We're having a baby." He reminded her. After he gave us a smile, they turned to leave and the rest of us started to laugh.

"Best Thanksgiving...ever." Ava laughed.

Because it was the first time we'd seen everyone since moving to Chicago, we didn't want to rush through dinner. But, I knew everyone was just too excited to take their time and we knew we had a few days to be together. So, once we were finished with dinner, Esme and my Mom offered to do the dishes so we could get to Alice. I was beyond grateful for them, especially when they said they'd stay with Ava and Paige.

We all piled into Edward's car and we headed to the hospital. We got her room number and made our way up to Labor and Delivery and practically barged into her room. When we got there, Jasper told us that she was a four centimeters before disappearing. Rosalie and I went to sit by her side and I grabbed her hand.

"It hurts." She wined.

"Soon, Alice." I promised as Edward and Emmett disappeared somewhere. "How's Jasper doing?"

"He's going into panic mode." She managed to smile. "He threw up once we got here."

"Emmett puked on the way to the hospital." Rose laughed, sitting in the chair on the other side. "You guys are so ready for this."

"Yeah," She nodded, but I could tell how unsure she still was.

"Alice, you're amazing with my girls and Hunter." I reminded her. "And, I know it's different when you have your own kids, but you're going to be a great mom."

"You really think?" She asked.

"Absolutely." Rose squeezed her hand. "You're a great Mom to our kids already. Now, it's finally your turn."

"I'm having a baby." She smiled. "I'm going to have a son in a few hours."

"You still keeping that name a secret?" I asked and she nodded as the boys came back into the room.

The rest of the night, the four of us spent most of the time in the waiting room. We wanted to be there for her, but we knew that her and Jasper had to do this for themselves. So, we played games on our phones, dozed off on our husbands shoulders, and did anything we could to keep ourselves busy. Once it hit the eleven hour mark, though I was starting to feel bad for her. It'd been a long labor for Ava and Paige, but I knew how hard this was on her.

Alice didn't do well with pain at all and cried when she stubbed her toe sometimes.

But, at seven forty-five, twelve hours after she went into labor, Jasper cam through the doors.

"He's here." He sighed tiredly and I nearly burst into tears. Alice and Jasper were finally parents, and mixed with the exhaustion, it was enough to make me cry.

"How's Alice?" Emmett asked after giving his friend a hug.

"Exhausted." He smiled. "But, she's doing well. They're cleaning him up now and once she's had a little bit of time to recover, you can come see him."

"Congratulations." I whispered as I gave Jasper a big hug. After he disappeared again, we headed to the cafeteria to get something to eat before Jasper texted us, telling us it was okay to come back. When we walked into the room, the baby boy was safely in Alice's arm, wrapped in blue.

"He's beautiful." I gushed as I stared down at him. Seeing him made me miss how small Paige and Ava were.

"Now can we know his name?" Rose asked impatiently. Alice looked up at Jasper and smiled, telling him it was okay to tell us.

"His name is Ryan." He told us. "Ryan Brandon Whitlock."

"Perfect." I assured her, leaning down and giving Ryan a kiss on the top of his head.

"If you guys wash your hands, you can hold him." She yawned.

"Where are your parents, Jazz?" Edward asked as I made my way to the sink.

"They told me they couldn't spend all night in the hospital." He whispered. "They should be here soon." If my parents had waited at home when I was in labor, I would have killed them. Even when Edward was there with me, I would have killed them if they stayed home.

We all took our turns holding the brand new baby and when I looked down at him, I was in awe. He was so small and cute and he made me really miss having a baby this small. I loved Paige and how independent she was getting, but there was something special about having a newborn. When I looked over at Edward who was holding him, I could tell he was thinking the same thing.

"Knock, knock." I heard a familiar voice whisper as the door opened. When I turned around, Jasper's parents were standing in the doorway and his mom put her hand over her mouth as she looked at her first grandchild.

"Mom, Dad." Jasper smiled, grabbing Ryan from Rose's arms. "Meet Ryan. Your grandson."

"He's beautiful." Becky gushed. "Oh, he's so beautiful."

"We'll come back later." I told Alice as I leaned down to give her a hug. "Don't forget to rest while he's sleeping."

"I know," She cried. "Now I get why you were always so damn emotional."

"I told you I wasn't crazy." I gently nudged. The four of us left them alone and we drove Emmett and Rosalie back to their house. When we got home, Mom was in the kitchen feeding Paige and Dad was with Ava watching TV while she read.

"So?" Mom asked as I took Paige out of her high chair.

"They had a healthy, baby boy." I smiled. "They named him Ryan Brandon."

"What a perfect way to incorporate her maiden name." Mom said as she went back to cleaning up the dishes from breakfast. "Why don't you two go take a rest and then we can all go over and see him. I know Ava has been dying to meet him."

"Good idea." I yawned, handing Paige back to my Mom.

* * *

Four days after Ryan was born, we were decorating their living room for his welcome home party. Alice and I had done it with Rosalie, and they'd both done it for me so it was only fitting Ryan got a proper hello. Ava was over the moon excited to have a little baby around again and kept telling Alice that'd she would babysit him for extra cash. It really was incredible watching Alice with her own baby after all of these years.

The three of us were all officially grownups.

"They're here!" Emmett smiled as he walked away from the door. Everyone gathered near the door and it was hard to keep them all quiet when we heard the keys in the lock. When the door swung open, everyone yelled welcome home and Alice burst into tears. She gave the carrier to Jasper and ran into the downstairs bathroom.

"She's emotional today." He laughed, putting the carrier on the couch and picking Ryan up out of it. "Welcome home, buddy." He whispered, kissing the top of his head.

"I'm gonna go check on her." I told everyone as the people who hadn't come to the hospital crowded Jasper to get a look at the baby. I gently knocked on the bathroom door and I heard the click telling me it was okay to go inside. I opened the door and bit my lip to keep from laughing when I saw her sitting on the toilet.

"I...didn't think..." She sobbed. "It'd...be...this bad..."

"It's okay, Alice." I smiled, reaching for the toilet paper and ripping a piece off for her. "Everyone reacts differently."

"Rose...didn't...cry...at all..." She cried, wiping her face with the toilet paper I'd given her. "And...you just got...a little...teary."

"Alice, a lot has happened to your body the last few days." I reminded her, kneeling in front o her and rubbing her arm comfortingly. "And your exhausted."

"I haven't stopped...crying." She told me, looking up at me with her puffy, red eyes. "Every time they took him to the nursery, I started crying." She was calming down.

"I didn't realize you'd be so upset or I would have give you a little bit of a warning." I apologized as she stood up and grabbed another piece of toilet paper.

"It's okay." She sniffed. "No one knew this was going to happen."

"I can tell everyone to go." I said softly as she splashed some cold water on her face.

"That'd probably be best." She nodded as I turned the doorknob. "I'm gonna be upstairs."

"Okay, everything's all ready up there." I assured her as she turned towards the stairs and I went to the living room. When I told Jasper what was going on with her, he was the one to kick everyone out. I apologized and told them they'd have plenty of time to spend with her and Ryan when she wasn't so emotional. Jasper handed Ryan to Edward so he could go check on Alice once everyone had left.

I knew that Edward loved Paige and with his entire heart, but when I looked at him with Ryan, I could tell he wanted a son. I mean, it was kind of every mans dream to have a son to teach to play sports and how to flirt with girls. Yeah, he could do all of that with Paige and was teaching Ava how to play soccer, but I knew having a son would be special. I knew we were still far away from having another kid, but I liked the thought of finally having a boy.

After a few minutes, Alice finally came back downstairs and took Ryan from Edward's hand. When the house was cleaned up, we headed to the airport so Emmett and Rosalie could catch their flight. Since Alice had gone in to labor, they had extended their trip, but they had responsibilities in Seattle and eventually had to leave.

"Wanna stop by my parents house?" Edward asked after we'd dropped them off. Paige was sound asleep in the backseat and Ava was spending some more time with my parents since they were here until Saturday. I knew how much Paige brightened Carlisle's day so I was more than willing to go for a little while.

But, when we pulled onto their street, there was an ambulance in front of their house.

"What the..." Edward trailed off, unbuckling his seatbelt and running towards the house. I got out of the car and pulled Paige out of her carseat before rushing into the house. I heard thumping upstairs but figured with the EMTs along with Esme and Edward, it was a pretty full house up there. So, I stood near the steps, rocking Paige back and forth, waiting for them to come downstairs.

After what seemed like an eternity, the EMTs came down with Carlisle on a gurney with an oxygen mask over his face. Esme followed right behind and just gave me a look of total defeat. They hurriedly ran Carlisle out to the ambulance and closed the doors before Edward had even gotten to the top of the steps. I watched as the ambulance drove away, the sirens piercing through the night.

"He was taking a nap." Edward's quiet voice said as he walked down the steps. "He woke up...unable to breathe so Mom called 911."

"Edward," I cried, wrapping one arm around his neck while keeping my hold on Paige. Last time he couldn't breathe, they found out the cancer had spread to his lungs. This meant that it was only spreading more, despite the chemotherapy treatment.

"Mom told me she'd call me with updates, but she wants me to go home with you guys." He sniffed, pulling back and reaching for Paige. He walked her out to the car without a word and buckled her into her seat. I got in the front seat and we drove home in silence. When we got home, he carried Paige upstairs and closed the bathroom door without grabbing me to help with her bath. Ava was sitting with her grandparents, watching TV when I walked into the living room and the sight made me want to cry.

Paige would never get to do this with Carlisle and it killed me.

"Ava, can you give your grandparents and I a sec?" I asked gently, sitting down in the chair next to the couch. She nodded and got up without hesitation and gave me a tight hug on the way out. She was smart. She knew something was wrong.

"Bells?" Mom asked as tears started streaming down her cheeks.

"Paige is never going to know Carlisle." I cried, moving to sit in between them. "And, I love you Dad and you're a great grandfather, but...Ava never got that chance to know Billy. I really wanted Paige to have that opportunity and now she never will."

"Bella, what happened?" Dad asked as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"We were going to say hi to Edward's parents, and when we got there, the EMTs were there." I explained. "They took him to the hospital because when he woke up from a nap, he couldn't breathe."

"Oh, no." Mom whispered.

"And Edward's been saying this for months, but it hit me tonight." I continued to cry. "It hit me that Paige won't know his other grandpa and...if we have another kid, Carlisle will never get the chance to meet him or her."

"Are you having another kid?" Of course that's what my Dad took from all of this.

"Not anytime soon." I rolled my eyes. "But, that isn't the point."

"Bella?" Edward asked from the doorway. I looked over and he was standing with Paige in her towel with his phone pressed to his ear.

"I got her." Dad grunted, standing up and taking Paige from Edward's grasp. He took her upstairs and I was really thankful my parents were here during all of this. Alice just had a baby and obviously couldn't play babysitter for my girls if something really serious were to happen. I sat with my Mom as Edward paced around in the kitchen, and I hated that all I could do was be patient.

Finally, he emerged from the kitchen and grabbed his keys, telling us he was going for a drive. I wanted to argue with him that he was overly emotional and should be driving, but I didn't. I knew he was dealing with this the best he could and he usually took a drive around the block when he needed space to clear his head.

I went upstairs and smiled when I saw Paige sitting in my Dad's lap in the rocking chair. He was quietly reading her a book and I could tell she was moments away from falling asleep. When I knew she had finally fallen asleep, I took her from my father's lap and gently laid her down in ht crib. I watched her sleeping and thanked God for the time Carlisle did have with her and for the joy that she brought him.

I just really wished I knew what was going on.

When I looked in at Ava, she had fallen asleep overtop of the covers with her book open on her chest. I did my best to quietly grab the book and turn the light off, but she was like me. The smallest thing woke her up and she opened her eyes as I was reaching for the lamp.

"Mom, what's going on?" She asked, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"We went to go see Carlisle after taking Rose and Emmett to the airport." I explained, pushing the hair out of her face. "And he was being taken out in an ambulance because he could't breathe."

"Is he going to die?" She asked, fear in her eyes.

"I don't know, Ava." I couldn't lie to her. I couldn't give her false hope because I didn't know just how bad the situation was. "Try and get some sleep."

"It's still early." She argued.

"But you were passed out." I laughed, leaning over and giving her a kiss on the forehead. I left her room, closing the door behind her and headed to my room to take a shower. For some reason, I just felt dirty and I just wanted to feel clean again...even though I'd taken a shower this morning. But, before I could get in the shower my phone started ringing.

"Hello?" I asked when I answered my phone with an unknown caller on the ID

"Is this Mrs. Masen?" An unfamiliar voice asked on the other line and I sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Yes." I was starting to panic as I looked at the clock. Edward had been gone for over an hour. It never took him this long to take a drive and clear his head.

"I'm afraid there's been a small accident." She said and my breathing started picking up. "Your husband was brought to the hospital a little while ago."

My heart sunk.


	15. Take a Hand

**Chapter Fifteen: Take a Hand**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

"Bella?" I asked, my voice was dry and raspy and I had absolutely no idea where I was. "What's going on?"

"You ran a stop sign." She explained, scooting closer to me. "You were so distracted by what was happening with your Dad, you ran a stop sign and got into a wreck."

"Oh, no." I sighed. "Was anyone..."

"Everyone's alive." She told me. "Thankfully, you weren't going very fast and you hit the girls passenger side and no one was in the car but her."

"Good." I whispered, laying back down.

"No, not good." She hollered, making my head throb even more. "I mean, seriously Edward."

"I'm sorry,"

"Sorry doesn't change anything." She spat. "Edward, I need you alive. I need you to be alive to take care of our daughter and Ava. Your mother needs you alive to help with your Dad and to be there for her once he dies." She said. "And you can't do any of that if you're dead."

"I'll be more careful next time." I shrugged, not knowing what else to do.

"Edward, you could have killed yourself...or someone else." She whispered, sitting back down. "You can't keep doing this to me or our family. You can't go off the rails every time something happens with your Dad. I can't...I can't keep doing this."

"So, are you going to leave me?"

"Of course not." She rolled her eyes. "But...Edward, babe, you need to grow up."

"I am grown up." I argued.

"No, you're not. You're handling this situation like an angsty teenager." She told me. "You're better than this, so please start acting like the man I married and stop acting like an idiot."

"Bella," I heard Mom's voice. I turned my head and she was standing at the door way, her arms crossed. "Can I have a minute with my son."

"I'm going to go call my Mom and tell her you're okay." She told me, leaning down and kissing my forehead. "Don't ever scare me like this again." She whispered darkly before going out into the hallway. Mom came and stood at the end of my bed, her arms still crossed.

She was pissed.

"Edward Anthony Mason." She practically growled. She hadn't used my full name in a long time and suddenly, I was fifteen again. "You're a good driver and you're a smart kid."

"Mom,"

"I'm not finished." She cut me off. "I get it. This is hard on you, it's hard on everyone and tonight was a disaster." She said, coming and sitting in the chair next to my bed. "But, if you go off and do something like this every time your Dad goes into the hospital, you'll be dead before he is."

"I was distracted, but I'm fine." I told her. "I'm okay."

"You got lucky, Edward." she whispered. "I'm already about to lose your father, I can't lose you too."

"Mom, I'm right here." I told her, reaching out and gripping her hand. "I'm fine."

"You're a Dad now." She reminded me. "You aren't just responsible for your own life anymore. You're responsible for those girls and Bella. You need to remember that when things like this happen, because this isn't the last time something like this will happen."

"I'm sorry I scared you." I whispered. "I'll be more careful next time."

"No more driving when you're upset." She cried, tears finally streaming down her cheek.

"Okay," I nodded, reaching over and grabbing the box of tissues from the other bedside table. "So, can you tell me exactly what happened?"

"You ran a stop sign, hit someone else and hit your head pretty hard against the steering wheel before the airbag deployed." she explained. "You're lucky you were smart enough to wear your seatbelt. You have a concussion and the doctor said you'll be sore for a few days."

"Another concussion?" I groaned. Last time I had a concussion I was out of school for way too long.

"It's mild." She smiled. "You'll be good to go back to school soon."

"How's Dad?" I asked, needing to know the information.

"He's doing well." She smiled. "His lungs just needed some help tonight."

"Has it spread anymore?"

"We don't know yet." She shook her head. "They're going to get him to a PET scan soon to see." She looked down. "Don't ever do this again...you're my baby. Losing your Dad will be incredibly difficult, but losing you would be completely unbearable."

"I'm here, Mom." I told her again, squeezing her hand. "I'm here."

When I was discharged from the hospital two days later, my Dad gave me the same speech that my Mom and Bella had. He reminded me that it wasn't just about me anymore and that it was about my girls and my wife. After h'ed lectured me, they told me that the cancer had indeed spread, but not significantly. The chemo was doing its job and it was keeping the cancer at bay for the time being.

When I got home, though, things were different. Bella was still pissed at me for being so careless and was doing everything herself. She was so busy taking care of everything, we didn't have any time to actually talk about what happened. But, I knew my wife and I knew she just needed some time and some space. But, after two days of being at home and being ignored, I called a cab and headed over to Jasper's house to see him and the baby.

"What are you doing?" He asked when he opened the door, Ryan safe in his arms.

"Bella won't speak to me and the silence was deafening." I shrugged. "You okay? You seemed frazzled?"

"I haven't slept since the day he came home from the hospital." He told me as Ryan began stirring. "Oh, no. Please go back to sleep."

"Where's Alice?" I asked, standing up and taking the baby out of his arms. He slumped back in the couch and closed his eyes while I walked Ryan back and forth, trying to get him to go back to sleep.

"Upstairs in bed." He whispered. "She hasn't really been...up for anything."

"Meaning?"

"From what I've read..." He trailed off and closed his eyes tightly. "Edward I think she might be depressed."

"Don't jump to conclusions." I shook my head, looking back down at the sleeping baby in my arms.

"I'm serious." He said. "I called her doctor and told her that she wasn't eating and she isn't sleeping and she can barely look at our son."

"What'd he say?"

"That I'm probably right and that I need to bring her in right away to get this taken care of." He said. "She was so excited about the baby and now..." He trailed off again, burying his face in his hands. "I'm so tired and stinky and I just want my wife to love our son."

"She does love your son." I assured him. "Something just isn't clicking in her head."

"I know what postpartum depression is, Edward." He snapped.

"Look," I tried not getting defensive, knowing it'd been says since he slept. "Why don't you go take a shower and take a nap."

"I can't, I have Ryan and Alice isn't..."

"I'll stay with him." I offered. "It'll give me something to do that doesn't make me feel like an incompetent idiot."

"You sure?"

"You're going to go crazy if you don't sleep and you're right, you stink." I smiled. "Go, he's asleep. I'm fine."

"Okay." He nodded, standing on his feet. "He just had a bottle twenty minutes ago, so he shouldn't need fed anytime soon." He explained. "He should be asleep for a while."

"Go shower and give your wife a kiss." I smiled.

I stayed at Alice and Jasper's until he came back downstairs after napping for an hour. Taking care of Ryan made me realize how much I truly missed having a newborn. And, although Bella and I were nowhere ready to have another baby yet, it made me at least want to have the discussion. After Jasper was rejuvenated, I left him with the baby and headed back home.

"How's Ryan?" Bella asked as I walked into the kitchen, kissing the back of her neck.

"They baby's good." I nodded, sitting down on one of the stools.

"I sense a but coming."

"Alice isn't doing so hot." I explained, grabbing a carrot and taking a bite.

"What do you mean?"

"You know how she was really, really overly emotional when she came home from the hospital?" She nodded. "Well, it's escalated. Jazz said she isn't eating or sleeping and she cries all the time."

"Postpartum?"

"That's what he and her doctor are thinking." I answered. "And she isn't bonding with the baby."

"I should go." She put down her knife. "I should be with her."

"Bells, there isn't anything you can do to help her at this point." I said, grabbing her wrist. "And Jasper told me she didn't want to see anyone right now."

"She's my best friend, Edward and she's hurting."

"And she needs to get help that you can't give her." I reminded her. "Leave her be and when she wants you, she'll come to you."

"She was so excited to be a Mom." She whispered as I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist.

"She still is." I whispered. "She just needs some extra pushes."

* * *

The next day, we had to say goodbye to Charlie and Renee as they headed back to their lives in Seattle. I was so grateful Bella had this time with them, but even more thankful that she was willing to move away from them to be with my family. I would never be able to repay her for this because she was the one giving me more time with my Dad. She was the one making everything work and I would always be grateful.

After we dropped them off at the airport, we headed over to my parents house since my Dad was finally coming home from the hospital. When we got there, we sat around the TV, watching the Bears/Packers game and just enjoyed each other's company. But, as I watched my Dad with Paige in his lap I suddenly got emotional and excused myself to be alone and sit on the balcony.

"I'll never forget the day your mother told me she was pregnant." I heard him saw from the doorway. I turned around to see him smiling at me and I really couldn't understand how he was still smiling at this point.

"Dad,"

"Let me finish." He laughed, sitting down in the chair next to me. "It was the end of November and I had just come home from a long day at the hospital."

"During your residency."

"Yeah, during my forth year of residency." He smiled. "Our little house was dark except for one light on the second floor. When I pulled into the driveway, I was confused since we really only used that room for storage." He told me. "Anway, when I got upstairs and saw what she did to the room, I couldn't believe my eyes. She had moved everything against the wall and a rocking chair sat in the middle of the room.

"She was sitting in the chair, rocking back and forth, reading a case." He told me, looking out to the woods. "When she looked up, she smiled at me and said 'welcome home, Daddy' and handed me the positive pregnancy test. My heart stopped beating."

"You were that scared?" I asked. "You're a doctor, it's kind of your job to take care of other people."

"But even my most loved patients didn't matter compared to taking care of my child." He said, looking at me. "It was the third happiest day of my life and I'll never forget giving your mother a hug and going online to look for a crib."

"What were the first two happiest days of your life?"

"My wedding day and the day you were born." He smiled.

"Why are you telling me this, Dad?"

"Because, I want you to know," He looked out to the woods again. "That you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. You and your mother are my entire world and I will never stop questioning how I got so damn lucky."

"And?"

"And because...I know that you want me to be apart of Paige's life." He whispered. "But don't let what's happening with me ruin your life with your family. Don't let my future affect your time with your kids."

"Dad,"

"This time is precious, Edward." He looked at me. "Don't waste it worrying about me."

"I won't take this time for granted." I promised him, still kind of unsure why he was telling me this story. But, I loved every second of it because he never really talked about the life him and Mom had before I was born. He didn't want to waste time looking back and just wanted to look forward.

"You have a beautiful girl and got so freaking lucky with Ava." He kept going. "I'm really proud of everything you've done, son."

"Thanks, Dad."

"And not just with your family." He shook his head. "With all the work you put into your studies and the amazing jobs you've had. You've earned everything you've gotten."

"Where is this all coming from?"

"I guess I'm just starting to feel sentimental." He shrugged, standing up and walking back inside. I stayed outside for a few more minutes before the sun started to set and the wind started to get colder. We finished watching the game and I helped Mom clean up, but then it was time for us to go home. Paige had fallen asleep on the drive home so I carried her upstairs, changed her into PJs and put her in her crib.

While Bella was in the kitchen, packing Ava's lunch, I stood on the stairs staring at the family portraits we'd gotten after Bella's birthday. I looked at Paige and realized how big she'd gotten in just two months. I looked at how genuinely happy Ava was, even without her Dad being in her life. I looked at Bella and I and just wondered how I did manage to get so lucky.

When I went upstairs into our bedroom, I just sat down on our bed and I just felt numb. I felt numb because I didn't know what was going to happen when my Dad finally did die. I didn't know if I was going to be able to accept it since we knew it was coming or if I'd be in denial. I didn't know how Ava would handle and I didn't know what my Mom was going to do in that big house all by herself.

And when I looked to our wedding picture in a frame on the night stand, I felt a tear running down my cheek.

"So, we definitely gotta go to the store tomorrow while Ava is in school." Bella said as she walked into the room. "She's eating leftovers again and I think she's sick of them."

"Okay," I agreed as she went into our bathroom.

"And then I was thinking we could do something for Alice and Jasper." She continued, oblivious to the fact that I was a crying idiot on the bed. "I was thinking we could make them a few meals to put in the freezer because as much as I love Jasper, he isn't a very good cook. And I know she's not hungry but..." She trailed off when she walked back into our bedroom and saw me siting on the bed. "What's wrong?"

"Dad came out on the porch this afternoon and told me about the day he found out Mom was pregnant." I whispered as she stood in front of me.

"Why?" She laughed.

"He said he...he was feeling sentimental." I shrugged. "He's starting to reminisce about the good times because things are just going to get worse and there isn't anything we can do."

"Being there is the best thing you can do for him." She whispered, sitting down next to me. "Giving him time with Paige is what you can do."

"That doesn't take the physical pain away." I reminded her, looking up and meeting her eyes. "He's putting on a good act, but I know how sick he feels and how much it hurts that he can't breathe."

"The physical pain is something that probably won't go away." She agreed. "But, emotionally being there is what's going to take the pain away."

"What if the next time he can't breathe...what if that's it?" I asked, my eyes filling with tears again. "Damnit, I am so fucking tired of crying."

"Edward,"

"Crying isn't going to do anything and I'm the man I'm supposed to be strong."

"Crying doesn't make you any less manly and it doesn't mean you aren't strong." She rubbed my back. "It means you're human."

"Dad was a healthy guy." I shrugged, changing the subject again. "He ate right and he never smoked or did drugs and he had a drink with dinner and maybe one while he was watching the game..."

"Edward," She cut me off. "I think you need to talk to Jasper about a recommendation."

"For what?"

"For a therapist."

"No." I didn't need someone knowing all of my business.

"I think it would be good for you." She whispered. "Because as much as I love you, I don't know if I can help you like you need."

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not." She argued. "You were so upset about your Dad the other night you ran a stop sign and I just think you would benefit from working this all out in therapy."

"I don't want anyone to know." I told her. "You, me, and Jasper...that's it."

"Deal." She agreed.

"I love you so much," I cried, leaning in and pressing my lips to hers.

"I love you," She smiled, kissing me again.


	16. I Should Have Known

**Chapter Sixteen: I Should Have** **Known**

* * *

 **Bella's POV**

Things were slowly getting back to normal. Well, as normal as things could be. Edward started seeing someone and I could see a major difference in his attitude. He never told me what he talked about in therapy, and out of respect, I never asked but I could tell good things were happening. He was just...happier and he wasn't spending his time going over things in his head.

He was really started to accept Carlisle's illness and what was going to happen within the next year.

Ava was also thriving at her new school and I actually thought she had better friends here than she did in Seattle. Don't get me wrong, the friends she left were great, but the friends here were more intentional. She'd even found a group of girls who wanted to play soccer their freshman year to play with so Edward didn't have to every night. Things with Jake had even improved a little bit. She still wasn't fully ready to forgive him, but there were times where she called him and I heard them having a real conversation.

Things were good.

Alice and Jasper were also doing well with Ryan. Alice had also started talk therapy and it took a little bit, but she finally started to bond with Ryan. I was really happy that the therapy helped because I knew how excited she was for the baby and I knew she wouldn't want to be put on medications. I loved watching them together as she dealt with the postpartum and how good of a team they made. I thought you really didn't see how good a couple was until they had kids, and watching them with Ryan made me see how good they really were together.

"Goodnight air. Goodnight noises everywhere." I closed the book and kissed the top of Paige's head. I couldn't believe that she was turning one in just over a month and I wondered where the time had gone. It seemed like just yesterday she was still inside me and now she was walking around.

"She asleep?" Edward whispered as he walked into the room. If I hadn't known already, her reaching out for Edward would have told me that she definitely wasn't sleeping yet.

"Nope." I laughed as he picked her up. He gently laid her down in her crib and kissed her head as I turned on the baby monitor and her nightlight. "Goodnight, sweetie." I smiled, leaning in and kissing her as well. When we shut her door, we headed downstairs to see what Ava was doing since it was a Friday night. We kept telling her she could do something with her friends, but she insisted she liked being with us on Friday's.

"Can we watch Fixer Upper?" She asked as she flipped through the Netflix menu.

"Yes!" Edward laughed. He told me if he could actually build, he would have been a contractor. Ava pressed play on the remote and I cuddled into Edward's side, enjoying the closeness and the relatively relaxing night. But, just as I thought things were finally okay and we could finally have a quiet night at home...the doorbell rang. I untangled myself from Edward and walked over to the front door.

And nothing could have prepared me for the person standing in front of me.

"Jake?" I asked quietly, not wanting to alarm Ava. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see my daughter." He demanded loudly and I shushed him because if he woke up my sleeping baby, I'd kill him with my bare hands. "Where is she?"

"Dad?" Ava asked from behind me. "What are you doing here?"

"I missed you, baby." She smiled as he pushed passed me and walked over to her.

"You didn't miss me all those nights you were in Florida while Mom and I were in Forks?" She hissed as Edward came into the foyer and leaned up against the wall. "You didn't miss me while you were probably in jail for those six months?"

"You told her?" He glared at me.

"No, Mom didn't have anything to do with me finding out." She huffed. "I'm smart, Dad...I put two and two together and figured it out."

"Ava, why don't you go upstairs." Edward suggested.

"Don't you dare fucking tell my daughter what to do." Jake hollered and I was ready to punch him if I heard Paige crying.

"Ava, go." I pleaded and she only rolled her eyes at Jake before running upstairs. "What is your problem? Cursing in front your fourteen year old daughter?"

"Look, I gave her the space she wanted." He shrugged. "Now, I want to see her."

"That's up to her, Jacob." Edward reminded him and if I weren't standing in front of him, I was sure he'd pounce on Edward.

Jake had learned his lesson though.

"She's fourteen." He reminded me. "She can't be making those decisions."

"If you haven't figured this out yet, Jake then you never will." I sighed. "She isn't like more fourteen year olds. She had to grow up pretty quick because of you."

"I'm not getting into this with you again."

"Then maybe you should leave." Edward seethed, coming up and placing his hands on my shoulder. "As pissed as she is, I don't think Ava wants me sending her Dad to the hospital."

"Ooooo." Jake laughed. "Edward angry, Edward smashed."

"Jacob." I hissed. "You gotta go."

"Not without Ava."

"She's not going with you, Jake." I rolled my eyes.

"I want her to come to Seattle with me for Christmas." He demanded and I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm serious. I haven't had her on a real holiday in her entire life and I want to spend Christmas with just her."

"Have you actually lost your mind?" I laughed. "You think I'm going to let you take my daughter to another state halfway across the country for Christmas?"

"She's my daughter too." He looked down at the floor.

"It takes so much more than sperm to make someone a father." I reminded him. "Jake, you were lucky I let you see her after school when I did. There is no way in hell you're taking her to Washington for Christmas."

"I'm not asking, Bella." He threatened.

"If you think I'm going with you and not being with my family for my favorite holiday, you really are a bag of crazy." Ava said from the top of the steps and I couldn't help but laugh at her choice of words. She'd overheard way too many conversations with my Dad about Jake.

"Ava, baby, it'll be fun." Jake smiled. "We'll make cookies and drink hot coco and decorate the tree."

"Why would I do that with you when I can do it with my family?" She asked and that actually hurt me. If she ever talked about me that way, I'd never recover. I saw all the color drain from Jake's face and I almost felt bad for him. "I'm not going to Seattle with you, Dad. My home is here now."

"Please, Ava." He begged and I could see how much he was hurting. Edward grabbing my hand and I just turned away from him. This was painful to watch.

"You know...you should have thought about not getting Christmas's with me when you got Mom pregnant at seventeen and then broke her heart."

"Ava," I had no idea she knew that. I mean, she could do the math and figure out that I was young when I had her, but I always told her Jake and I just didn't work out. I never told her that he'd broken my heart.

"I...found the journal you wrote in when you got pregnant." She cried, wiping her cheek. "I wanted to know more about where I came from and...sorry."

"Just because things happened with your Mom doesn't mean that I don't love you." Jake fought, but I knew he was losing. He knew it too.

"You never wanted me." She cried and Edward let go of me and went over to where Ava was. "She told you she was having a baby and you ignored her and you...didn't show any interest in me."

"Sweetie, I want you to go upstairs." I whispered and she turned and ran up the steps and I could hear her crying from the bathroom. "I never wanted her to find that journal...I didn't even think I still had it."

"I should go." He said and I could see his eyes welling up with tears. I wanted to go after him, but Edward grabbed my hand before I could. He knew it was pointless to try and talk to him, and so did I. I watched him as he got into his rental car before going upstairs to find Ava.

So much for a nice, relaxing night.

"Ava?" I asked gently, knocking on the bathroom door. I heard a click and then I turned the knob and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. She was sitting on the floor next to the tub and I sat down next to her as she laid her head down in my lap. I gently ran my hand up and down her arm as she cried and my heart was just broken.

"I never wanted you to feel unwanted." I cried, unable to be strong for her. "I always wanted you to know how loved you are."

"Mom, it wasn't a huge surprise when I read that journal a few months ago." She said, sitting back up and leaning against the tub. "I mean, he didn't move to Seattle until I was seven...I wasn't worth him moving to be close to me."

"Him not moving to Seattle sooner didn't mean..."

"Mom," She stopped me. "It's okay. I'm okay."

"You have a broken heart." I pointed out, pushing her hair out of her face.

"I'm okay." She insisted and I believed her. Because no matter what she was going through with Jake, she always seem to come out stronger. I couldn't believe how grown up she was for only being fourteen years old.

* * *

The next couple of days were weird in our house. Ava was trying to pretend that nothing was wrong, but I knew there was. She was strong, but she wasn't okay like she claimed to be the night Jake showed up. I didn't want to press her on it because I knew that she'd come to me if she needed it. But, there wasn't anything in any of the parenting books that told you what to do when your child figured out she was never wanted by her father.

Edward and Jasper both suggested therapy, but I just didn't think she was there yet. I knew she was hurt, but she was always very honest with me when she was hurting and I didn't think there was anything she would say to a therapist that she wouldn't say to me. Mom and Dad were also furious and if he wouldn't go to jail, I was pretty sure this was the last straw for Dad. I was almost certain he wouldn't hesitate before running Jake over with his car.

But, not matter how hurt she was, Ava never really let it get to her. She played soccer with her friends and held Paige whenever she got the chance. She was laughing and smiling and just enjoying her life, no matter what was going on inside. I had never been so thankful that Edward was who he was during this time because I didn't think I would have made it without him.

"Oh it smells, good!" Edward hollered as he walked into his parents kitchen. Ever since moving here, we'd had dinner with them every Wednesday night and Esme was finally letting me cook something.

"Stuffed shells." I laufhed as he turned on the over light.

"You are too good to me." He laughed, kissing my forehead. "You always know my favorites!"

"I wouldn't be married to you if I didn't." I laughed as he walked back into the living room with Ava and his mothers. After checking on the shells again and cutting the green peppers for the salad, I noticed Carlisle sitting on the porch with Paige, despite the freezing temperature. I wiped off my hands, grabbed my sweater, and walked outside with him.

"And over there is where I taught your Daddy to hit a baseball." I could hear him talking to Paige. She was clapping her hands and just loving her time with Grandpa.

"Where'd you teach him to kick a soccer ball?" I asked, making him jump.

"At the soccer field." He laughed. "I know it's cold, I was going to bring her inside soon..."

"She's fine." I nodded, noticing he had her bundled up good. "For a few more minutes." He nodded and turned back to the yard as I came to stand next to him.

"You doing okay?" He asked as Paige sang to us.

"I can't get this Jake thing out of my head." I sighed. Edward had told his parents about what happened the next day and even they were stunned. And they were always relatively patient people. "I just can't get over that she read my journal."

"This isn't your fault, Bella." He said softly. "Jake is not a good guy, and it was only a matter of time before Ava found out the truth."

"She's just a kid." I cried. "She doesn't deserve this kind of pain."

"No one does." He agreed. "Not even guys in their thirties." He was referring to Edward. "But, we live in a broken world where terrible things happen to good people."

"What would you do?" I asked as Paige reached for me. "If Esme didn't want Edward and left you with him."

"I don't know." He shook his head and I was stunned. Carlisle always had an answer for everything and it was shocking that he didn't this time. It made everything else seem so much more confusing. "But, I know that if Jake didn't love Ava, he wouldn't keep coming around."

"He beat your son." I reminded him.

"He's done terrible things and I don't like him at all." He smiled.

"Am I wrong for letting Ava make this decision?" I asked. "I mean, she is fourteen...maybe she shouldn't have a say on whether or not she sees her father."

"Do you want her seeing her father?"

"No," I answered after I thought long and hard as I heard the backdoor open.

"What are you guys doing?" I heard Edward ask as he draped my jacket over my shoulder.

"Can you take her inside?" I asked, handing Paige to him and looking out again. He kissed my cheek and went back inside, leaving just Carlisle and I alone.

"I don't want him seeing her." I told him. "I don't trust him...even after all these years I don't trust that if she pisses him...that he won't snap like he snapped with me." I cried. "What he did was unforgivable and I was a fool for even giving him a second chance after what happened."

"Parenting is hard." He whispered, handing me a clean tissue. "Nothing is easy."

"Says the guys who's had the picture perfect life up until now." I said with more harshness than I intended. "I just mean..."

"I almost lost Edward." He told me. "When he was born, I was just about to my fellowship...I was just getting into a great job." He explained. "I missed his piano recitals and his baseball games...I missed too many."

"Edward's really understanding..."

"He is now." He agreed. "But, when I was spending more time at the hospital than here, he hated me for it. When I missed his big piano recital at a big venue...I thought he'd never speak to me again."

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"I thought good parenting was all about being able to provide for your kid." He told me. "I thought nothing mattered if Edward couldn't go to a great school or if he didn't have the best piano teacher." He explained. "It was when he was saying he'd never forgive me that I realized it wasn't the things I provided for him if I wasn't providing the support he needed."

"And?" I laughed.

"And..." He trailed off. "No one has the concrete right answer when it comes to raising kids." He whispered. "I for sure didn't, and neither do you."

"That...doesn't make me feel better."

"The point is, it's okay to be kind of clueless." He said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "It's okay to not have every answer and it's okay to mess up." He said. "You didn't know what never seeing Jake again would do to a seven year old and that's okay. It's okay that you messed up by giving him a second chance."

"I never wanted her to feel unwanted." I cried.

"She doesn't feel unwanted by you or Edward or your parents or your friends."

"Just by her father." I said.

"Ava has everything she could ever need, Bella." He whispered. "It's because of you that she is growing up in a family as loving as yours. It's because of you she's so smart and so strong and has such a good head on her shoulder."

"Stop." I laughed.

"Don't let Jake ruin what you have." He gave me a tight squeeze. "Because the family you have is pretty remarkable."


	17. Shining Star

**Chapter Seventeen: Shining Star**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

"Wake up!" Ava hollered, slamming our bedroom door open. "Wake up! It's Paige's first Christmas!" Ava was way more excited for Paige's first Christmas than any of the adults were, and it was really sweet. I just wished she would have been excited in her room for a little bit longer.

"Ava, it's seven thirty." Bella groaned. I always got up and got Paige ready while Bella slept until eight usually. It was the least I could do for her since she was home taking care of Paige while I was at work. So seven thirty was quite early for her, and it was kind of funny.

"But it's Paige's first Christmas!" She repeated.

"How about you go see if she's up." Bella sighed, sitting up in bed. "And then take her downstairs and play with her for a while so we can get ready for the morning."

"Okay!" she turned and sped out of the room towards Paige's nursery. She looked at me and laid back down, covering her face with her pillow.

"We haven't been up this early for Christmas in three years." She moaned as I stood up and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and use the bathroom. Once I was finished, Bella was still laying down in bed and I almost got a wet washcloth to ring out on her, but she got up before I had the chance. While Bella got ready, I went down and put the coffee on...desperately needing it.

"So, this nice man in a big red suit came down the chimney last night and left us all these presents." Ava explained to Paige as she sat in her lap with her favorite stuffed bunny. "And we're going to open them and then Grandma and Grandpa have all kinds of presents for you at their house."

I didn't think Paige could have gotten any luckier with how much her big sister loved her.

Once the coffee was ready, I poured myself and Bella a cup and headed into the living room. Bella finally came down the stairs and took her time, sipping on her coffee before getting the camera out. Once she was ready, Ava handed Paige the biggest box with her name on it and helped her open it. Paige clapped and squealed when the paper was off, but instead of looking at what was inside the box, she was more entertained by the wrapping paper.

Bella and I highly anticipated this and it's why we didn't get her too many presents to open this year. She already had more than she ever needed and the paper was clearly what she wanted. Ava was great with her and patiently waited for all of Paige's presents to be opened before she grabbed hers. Ava had figured out Santa wasn't real a few years ago, but Bella insisted all labeling half her presents from Santa. She said she wasn't ready for her little girl not to believe anymore.

After all of the girls presents were opened, Ava gave the two of us her gifts from her and Ava. She was so sweet by putting Paige's name on the label as well as hers, and it was obvious she put a lot of effort into the presents she gave us. Ava had given me a framed picture of me with my parents with Paige in my Dad's lap. It was another candid Alice had managed to get, but I thought that made it even better. And she'd gotten Bella a new copy of her favorite Jane Austin book since her's was so old and falling apart.

They were simple gifts, but they were so perfect and thoughtful.

Bella and I agreed to exchange gifts with each other later in the afternoon so I helped clean up while she went into the kitchen to start breakfast. Paige was already falling asleep in my arms by the time I was putting her in the high chair...Ava had clearly worn her out.

"Best first Christmas...ever." Ava smiled as she took a bite of her chocolate chip pancakes. "What was mine like?"

"Well, you were smaller than Paige is." Bella started. "And Pap told me to just give you boxes with nothing in them because you'd be more interested in the paper than the gifts, just like Paige was their morning." She laughed. "And it was just the four of us in the big house because we hadn't moved into the garage yet."

"Was it this nice?" She asked.

"It was perfect for who our family was at the time." She nodded. "Just like this morning was perfect for our family now."

"When are Grandma and Pap getting here?" She asked. It sucked because Christmas was the busiest time of year for Charlie and he only got Christmas day off. They planned their trip for New Years since it would be easier, but I knew how much my girls were missing them. And, it didn't help that Emmett and Rosalie were staying in Seattle to be with her family.

It didn't feel right not having everyone together since my parents always flew to Seattle for Christmas.

"They'll be here next week and we'll get to do Christmas Day part two." Bella smiled at her. Once breakfast was finished, we put Paige down for her morning nap and got ready to go over to my parents house. Jasper's parents were joining us, and it was so nice to be able to spend some time with them again. Since going to school, I didn't see the Whitlock's very often, and it was nice being all together again. I only wished Emmett could be here with his Grandma...then it'd really be like old times.

"You look very nice." I smiled as Ava came downstairs in her red Christmas dress.

"You too." She nudged me, grabbing her coat off the hook as Bella came downstairs with Paige in her arms.

"Beautiful." I smiled, kissing the top of Paige's head and then pressing my lips against Bella's. I got Paige in her coat while Bella pulled hers on and then the four of us headed to the car. We made our way to my parents house and there was something wonderful being back at your childhood home for Christmas. I grabbed the gifts from the trunk and Ava grabbed Paige, and we headed inside.

"Hi," Dad smiled weakly when he opened the door. Ava pushed passed him, excited to see Ryan and Alice, but I knew something was wrong. But, since it was Christmas, I decided to bite my tongue unless Dad asked me for my help. That was something the therapist I'd been seeing kept telling me. She kept telling me that if Dad needed or wanted help, he'd ask and if I kept pushing him then I'd create more of a problem.

"You okay, Carlisle?" Bella asked, hanging up our coats.

"Yeah," He lied, but again I didn't want to push him on it. We walked into the living room and Mom already had Paige in her arms, feeding her bites of Hershey kisses.

"Bella, where did you find that dress for Paige?" She asked when we sat down.

"Baby Gap." Bella shrugged. "Alice got it for me when she was getting Ryan's Christmas onsie."

"I wish they had cute things like that when you were a baby." Mom laughed, looking at me. When I looked up at my Dad when he sat down in his chair, something really seemed off. He was more pale than usually and he was clutching his stomach. I knew the chemo made him feel sick, but since he'd been doing it for so long, I thought he'd learn to cope with it.

He definitely didn't look good at all.

Before I could say anything though, the doorbell rang and Jasper's parents had finally gotten here. I knew he didn't like talking about the cancer in front of other people unless they were family, so I didn't start anything. But, if I got him alone I did want to ask him about it because even though I'd come to terms with everything, I didn't want him not feeling good. Especially on Christmas.

After the Whitlock's arrived, everything livened up even more. There were more presents going around than I could possibly count and our children were definitely spoiled. I knew that they were special since they were the first, but both my parents and the Whitlock's spoiled Ava as well. I knew her and knew she'd be happy with a few books and some clothes, but she was definitely happy to be getting spoiled like her baby sister.

After all the presents had been open, my Mom as well as Becky went into the kitchen to finish getting dinner ready. But, the more I looked at my Dad, the sicker he looked.

"So," Jasper's Dad, Andrew started. "Carlisle, how have you been feeling lately?" It wasn't like other people didn't know he was sick, he just didn't want to share everything with the entire word.

"Pretty good lately." He lied through his teeth. "There are good days and bad days, but lately they've been pretty good."

"Have you ever read The Book Thief?" Ava asked Andrew and I was grateful for the subject change. I couldn't tell if she was doing it because she knew Dad didn't want to talk about it or if she was genuinely curious since they'd given it to her. But I was thankful she'd asked because I could see the relief of my Dad's face when Andrew was distracted.

After a little bit longer, dinner was finally ready and we crowded around the dining room table. Mom asked me to say a prayer since it was Christmas, and everyone started passing the food around. I noticed Dad didn't put much on his plate, but I just tried to ignore it. No one else seemed to notice it and went about with normal conversations about work and Ryan and just our lives in general.

"Excuse me." Dad whispered, standing up and walking out of the room. I looked over at my Mom who just shrugged and went back to answering Becky's question. But, when Dad didn't come back after ten minutes, excused myself and went to find him. I saw him sitting up against the wall at the top of the stairs and he just looked so weak and small...it was hard to believe that was my Dad.

"Dad?" I asked, walking up the stairs.

"Edward, go back downstairs." He ordered as I reached the top of the stairs. There was vomit all over the wooden floors and there was even some on the front of Dad's shirt. "Please."

"I'll get a rag." I nodded, stepping over the puddle and going towards the hall closet. I got some rags to clean the floor up as well as a wet rag to give my Dad. He tried to take the rags from me, but I insisted that it was okay. I cleaned up what was on the floor and washed my hands before sitting down next to my Dad.

"I tried to hold it in..." He was so embarrassed.

"It's okay." I assured him. "It happens."

"Not to grown men."

"Is everything okay?" I finally asked since we were finally alone.

"They increased my chemo dosage." He whispered. "I just haven't been feeling very well lately."

"We could have hosted Christmas if..."

"I didn't want to worry anyone." He shrugged. "You should go back downstairs and be with your family."

"You're my family, Dad." I reminded him. "I'm good here until you're ready to go downstairs or go to your room and lay down."

"I don't want to ruin tonight."

"You're not ruining anything." I told him.

"I should go change." He said, standing up.

"You sure you don't want to go lay down?" I asked, taking his wet washcloth from him.

"I'm feeling better." He nodded. "I've been wanting to throw up all day and hadn't been able to."

"Sometimes throwing up is the best thing you can do." I smiled, throwing the cloth down the laundry chute. I washed my hands one last time before going back downstairs. I gave my Mom a nod, telling her that Dad was okay and no one asked either of us about what had happened while we were gone.

After everyone else was gone and it was just the six of us, Dad finally went upstairs and got into bed. We all knew what this meant when they increased his chemo dosage. He was starting to rapidly deteriorate and the cancer was stronger than ever. It meant that Dad was actually dying right now and he only had a matter of time. I tried not to let it get to me because I wanted my kids to have the best Christmas ever, but when we got home, Bella wouldn't let it go.

"When he left the table at dinner tonight, he was going to throw up." I explained, pulling the blankets down on our bed. "And he didn't end up reaching the toilet."

"That's why he changed his shirt?" She asked. "How's he feeling now?"

"He said he'd been wanting to throw up all day and when he finally did, he felt a lot better." I explained. "It's time."

"What do you mean?"

"He's actually dying now, Bella." I whispered. "And I haven't been in denial or anything, but he's getting sicker and the chemo is only slowing down the inevitable."

"We knew that." She looked down at her fingers as I crawled into bed next to her.

"Yeah, but it's actually happening now." I said again. "They upped his chemo dosage which is why he was feeling so sick all day. Bells, I think this was his last Christmas."

"It might have been." She sighed, snuggling close to me. There was nothing either of us could say and so we just held each other until I heard her heavy breathing. The next day, I woke up early and got Paige ready before Bella was awake and I just sat with her on the floor while she walked around. It amazed me that eleven months ago, Bella was still pregnant with her. Now...here she was walking around and saying words.

"You are just the cutest baby in the entire world." I smiled at her as she bent down and grabbed one of her toys. "Did you know that?"

"Dada," She giggled, walking over to me and gripping my nose. I reached out and held her close to me, taking advantage of this time I had with her. Because she was so stinking loved, I had to share her with others most of the time. And, although I was so happy that everyone loved her and wanted to hold her, it was nice just having some quiet time with her to myself.

"You hungry, baby?" I asked when she started to get kind of fussy. Since Bella had been up earlier yesterday, I'd turned her alarm off and I was surprised when I heard one of the bedroom doors open. I turned and saw Ava padding into the kitchen as I was putting the cut up bananas on Paige's high chair tray. "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep." she shrugged, sitting down at the island and grabbing her own banana. "Is your Dad okay, Edward?"

"You know he's sick..."

"Yeah, but yesterday seemed...weird." she shrugged. "Different."

"The chemotherapy they're doing with him to try and fight the cancer is making him feel sick to his stomach." I explained. "You know how medicines have different dosages?" I asked and she nodded. "Well, they upped the chemo dosage so he just wasn't feeling good."

"He's dying, isn't she?" She asked with tears in her eyes. "He's gonna die soon...that's why we moved here?"

"Yeah, kiddo." I couldn't lie to her face. She been lied to too many times by Jake. I wasn't going to be another person to do that to her. "We moved here because he didn't have much time left."

"I'm really sorry this is happening." She wiped her cheek as I went over and hugged her. "I really love your Dad."

"Me too." I winked. "But, we didn't move here to be sad that he was dying. We moved her so we could spend as much time with him as possible, and so he could get to know Paige before he...died."

"We should do something special for him." She lit up. "Like a party."

"Oh, I'm not sure he's feeling up to something like that."

"It doesn't have to be huge, but he's a nice guy and I'm sure a lot of people like him." How this girl was so smart, I'd never know. "And he's lived here for a long time."

"I'll talk to your Mom and see what she thinks."

"See what I think about what?" Bella asked, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a mug for her coffee.

"I think we should throw Carlisle a party." Ava smiled. "I think it would be really nice for him to have all the people he loves in one room...celebrating his life."

"When I was thirteen, I was cutting boys pictures out of magazines and taping them to my notebook." Bella laughed, going over to Ava and giving her a hug. "How are you planning parties to celebrate someone's life?"

"It's the right thing to do." Ava shrugged like it was no big deal. "I mean, I'd want to do it for you or Edward so I think it's just a good idea to do it for Carlisle."

"You're so sweet." Bella whispered. "We'll talk to him about it sometime this week, okay?"


	18. So Darling, Darling

**Chapter Eighteen: So Darling, Darling**

* * *

 **Bella's POV**

"I think we may have gone a little over the top." I whispered as I dipped the rice crispy treats in the pink chocolate.

"No," Edward laugh sarcastically. "But, you were right. She's only going to have one first birthday and we should make it special."

"Ava's wasn't very special." I shrugged, starting to feel guilty. Ava was excited to help and told us she wanted this to be special for her, but she'd seen pictures of her first birthday party. I put a lot of thought into her party, but it wasn't anything very extravagant and I felt like this was too much.

"It was special." He leaned in and kissed my cheek. "It just wasn't this detailed. Do not start feeling guilty now...we've already put too much time and money into this party."

"Mom, my first party looked super fun." Ava smiled as she walked into the kitchen and sat down on the stool. "Plus, I'm like you. I don't need a lot to be happy."

It still amazed me how perfect my oldest daughter was.

"Can I help with something?" She asked, reaching over and taking one of the treats that we hadn't dipped in chocolate yet.

"Can you write this on the chalkboard that in the living room?" I asked, pulling up a picture on my phone. She sent the picture to herself and disappeared into the living room. Ava was definitely more crafty than Edward and I, and I had Alice to thank for that. Whenever she'd watch Ava, she always came home with something new she'd made.

After all the treats were dipped in the chocolate and the food was prepped for tomorrow, we decided to call it a night. But after tossing and turning for an hour, I decided to get up and go into her nursery. When I looked down at my sleeping one year old, it was hard to believe a year ago I was in labor with her. A year ago she hadn't even taken her first breath yet, and that thought made me a little teary.

 _"Edward?" I asked softly as he sat at the kitchen table, grading tests._

 _"Yeah?" He didn't turn around...he was like this when he was on a roll._

 _"It's time." I told him, pulling my jacket on._

 _"Can we wait to go to dinner?" He asked. "I gotta get these tests done."_

 _"Edward, my water just broke." I said and that snapped him out of it. He turned around, his smile stretching from ear to ear. "We're having this baby tonight."_

 _"Seriously?" He asked, rushing over and placing his hand on my stomach. "You're sure?"_

 _"Yep." I smiled since I'd been having Braxton Hicks contractions for days now. "It's happening."_

 _"Let's go!" He laughed, kissing me and then taking my bag from me. He helped me out to the car and I made a quick call to my parents not to bring Ava home after dinner. When we got to the hospital and I was admitted, he sat by my bed just smiling._

 _"We need a name." I reminded him after a few hours had passed and I only dilated one more centimeter. "We can't go with Baby Masen."_

 _"I still like Elizabeth." He said._

 _"Too old school." I argued. We had it narrowed down to two names, but he kept coming back to Elizabeth._

 _"Maybe we should wait to meet her then." He shrugged, gripping my hand. "To see if she's an Abigail or a Paige."_

 _"That's a good idea." I smiled as another contraction hit._

"Come on, babe." Edward whispered, kissing my shoulder, breaking me away from my memories.

"Look at her." I whispered, leaning back into his arms. "Look how big she is. Was she this big this morning?"

"I think so." He laughed, and I knew he was feeling the same thing I was. She had him wrapped around his finger since we found out we were having a girl, and the fact that she was already one amazed both of us. "I feel like yesterday she was just a little bit bigger than my forearm."

"I know," I smiled as she jerked in her sleep. "Thanks for giving me one of the best girls."

"I'd do it again." He smiled as I turned around in his arms. I didn't want to get too excited. I knew that we couldn't have another baby anytime soon because changing Paige's diapers was enough and because we just didn't have enough time or energy for a newborn. But, I was still happy that he still wanted another one and I knew we'd eventually have that conversation.

"We should let her sleep." I finally yawned after I started falling asleep in his arms. We took one last look at our baby daughter and headed back to our room. Edward pulled me back into our bedroom, but I didn't sleep well. All I could think about was our daughter and how precious she really was to everyone.

I knew that as much as Carlisle loved his son and wife, it was his granddaughter that gave him a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Paige was so special to him and it pained me that night that she'd never know him. It's the same pain Edward had been feeling since he got the horrible news, but it not just hit me on her first birthday.

When the sun came up, I looked at the clock and it was seven o'clock. Edward was still fast asleep and I got out of bed to turn his alarm off before going into Paige's nursery. She was already awake, sitting up in her crib and playing with her favorite stuffed penguin when I opened the door.

"Mama!" She clapped her hands together, dropping her penguin and lifting her hands up for me. I went over to her and lifted her out of the crib, and hugged her tight.

"Happy birthday, Paigey." I smiled, kissing her chubby cheeks. "Do you know how old you are?" I asked as she played with the hair that had fallen out of my bun. "You're one year old."

"One." She giggled, looking up at me and smiling at me. I looked at the small clock we kept next to her crib and smiled, remembering I was still in labor with her at this point a year ago. It would still be a few more hours until she was officially one. I carried her downstairs and put her into her seat before grabbing a banana and cutting it up for her. I poured some Cheerio's on her tray and she ate them one by one, studying each piece before putting it in her mouth.

"Why'd you shut my alarm off?" Edward asked as he padded into the kitchen and went straight over to Paige. Paige smiled at him and picked up a piece of cereal and offered it to him. He took the Cheerio, making her laugh before standing back up and walking over to me.

"I wanted some extra Paige time this morning." I smiled as he kissed the back of my neck.

"Paige thief." He laughed as he poured the both of us a cup of fresh coffee. We sat with Paige and watched her eat, just amazed at the fact that she was already a year old. After she was finished eating, Edward cleaned her up as I scrambled some eggs for the grownups, but I was interrupted by the doorbell.

"Who the hell is ringing the doorbell at eight in the morning?" I groaned, abandoning my eggs and walking to the door. When I opened the door though, I couldn't help but scream. "What are you doing here?" I asked, hugging my Dad tightly.

"Carlisle paid for us to fly out." Mom told me. They originally told us they wouldn't be able to make it for her party since flights were expensive and money was just a little tight. They continued to apologize, but I told them as long as we could FaceTime with them, Paige would be happy.

"That was...really nice of him." I almost cried as Edward carried Paige into the room. "Your Dad bought them plane tickets."

"Wow," Edward sighed, handing Paige to Mom and wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.

"Why is everyone screaming?" Ava asked, rubbing her eyes as she walked down the steps. "It's Saturday and it's really...Pap!" She exclaimed when she finally saw them standing in front of the door. "Grandma!"

"Hey, sweet pea." Dad smiled, giving her a hug.

I seriously had to thank Carlisle for this.

"Where are your bags?" Edward asked after my Mom had said hello to Ava.

"Emmett's bringing them in." Mom smiled and I just shook my head. "Carlisle."

"We gotta write him the best thank you note ever." Ava laughed as I looked out the door and saw Emmett and Rosalie just standing at the end of the walkway with everyone's luggage. Edward and Dad went outside to help bring the bags in and the first thing I did when I got to Rose was feel her growing baby belly.

"Where's Hunter?" Ava asked after everyone was inside and standing in the kitchen while I cracked some more eggs for breakfast.

"He stayed with my Mom this weekend since we're only here until tomorrow night." Rosalie explained, as she stretched out her back.

"Have you felt any kicks?" I asked, pouring the eggs into a pan.

"Not yet." She shook her head. "But, Hunter didn't start kicking until around twenty-three weeks."

"And, what are you having?" Edward asked eagerly.

"We're having a..." Emmett started before Rosalie slapped his arm.

"We want to wait until Alice and Jasper are here to tell you guys." She said.

"I hope it's a girl." Ava smiled. "I mean, I think girls are pretty cool."

"You'll have to be patient and wait." Emmett laughed as he rubbed the spot where Rosalie had hit him. Once the eggs were finished cooking, I served them to everyone and we enjoyed out breakfast together.

Having them here for Paige's birthday meant so much more to Edward and I than it did to Paige, but I was still so grateful for Carlisle.

When we were finished eating, Mom offered to do the dishes for me so that I could start getting the food ready for the party. While I cooked everything, Edward took Paige upstairs to get her a bath and changed for the party. Once everything and everyone was ready, the doorbell rang when the first guest had arrived. Even though we hadn't lived in Chicago very long, we'd gotten pretty close to a lot of people, and Edward had reconnected with his friends from high school that still lived in the area.

There were more people at Paige's first birthday party than my graduation party.

Rosalie hid in my bedroom until Alice got there, and when she finally did it was hard to keep a straight face. Alice had gone through a lot after Ryan was born, but she was finally back to herself again after two months. But, when Rose tapped her on the shoulder, Alice couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

When Carlisle and Esme got there, I couldn't help myself when I ran and hugged them. They knew how much I missed my parents and they gave Paige one of the best presents ever. Carlisle just told me that's what family did, but I knew it was so much more than that.

Since Paige had everything she could ever need, we told people not to go crazy with gifts and asked for diapers and clothes she could wear when she got bigger. We also asked for money for her big girl bed...even though she wouldn't be in one of those for a little while longer. It was good to be prepared.

After a few hours and after Paige had made mess of herself by destroying her first cake, the last party guest left. After the door shut, the ten of us sat down in the living room while Ava played with Paige on the floor. After Alice fed Ryan, Emmett told everyone that they had an announcement to make.

"We're having..." He trailed off, looking at Rosalie who gave him a small nod. "A girl."

"Eeeek!" Alice squealed, handing Ryan to Jasper so she could get up and hug Rosalie. "One of each! That's so fun!"

"Hunter is going to be a great big brother." I smiled after giving them each a hug.

"Her and Paige can be best friends." Alice cried. Even though she was doing way better than when they brought Ryan home, she was still kind of overly emotional. But, I couldn't tell if that was just Alice being Alice or if it had to do with the baby.

"I think all of our kids are going to be best friends." Jasper laughed, looking down and sticking his tongue out at Ryan. "I mean...we can't be separated for long periods of time."

"Oh, jeeze." Carlisle laughed.

* * *

"I still can't believe your Dad flew them all out here for just a weekend." I told Edward as we pulled the covers on the bed down. Rose and Emmett had gone back with Alice and Jasper, and my parents had gone to be over an hour ago.

"That's my Dad." He smiled, walking over to me and gripping my hips. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips against mine, but within seconds, we both grew needy. "What do you say? Wanna make another baby?"

"Not yet." I moaned as he kissed my neck. "But we can practice."

"Fuck," He muttered against my skin. He reached down to the hem of his old t-shirt, pulling it over my head and leaving me in just my panties. "Fuck." He moaned again as I reached out and grabbed him threw his PJ bottoms. I smiled as he kissed his way down my collarbone, eventually clamping his lips around my nipple.

"Yes," I whispered as he gently bit down, making me impossibly wetter. I shoved his pants down his legs along with his boxers and he stepped back to step out of them, his mouth never leaving my body.

"I've missed this," He said as I walked backwards, falling down onto the bed when we eventually got there. It had been way too long since we'd been together like this.

"Me too." I panted as he put his hands down my panties and thrust two fingers inside of me. "Yes! Edward!" I cried as he drew tiny circles against my clit. I writhed beneath him and came within seconds.

"You're so fucking hot." He mumbled, pulling my panties down and throwing them to the side. "If we didn't have kids, babe I'd fuck you every night."

"Let's give them up for adoption." I joked as he lined himself up. He kissed me passionately as he thrust hard inside me and if his lips hadn't been on mine, I would have screamed. He started moving, fast and hard and it was so much different than the last few times together. It had been a really long time since we'd been so raw and passionate with each other.

"Edward!" I cried as he brought his thumb back to my clit. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" I chanted.

"Let go for me, Bella." He whispered darkly in my ear.

"Oh...god!" I moaned as I came. After a few more thrusts, he stilled and his lips pursed tougher. He fell limp on top of me and I cradled his head in my chest, playing with his hair. He eventually rolled off of me and we were both so exhausted, it was hard to pull our covers on top of us.

"I love you," He whispered right before I was about to fall asleep. I attempted to say it back, but it just came out as a bunch of mumbo-jumbo.

But, he knew. He always knew. No matter what we were going through, we loved each other and that was always going to be enough for us.

The next morning, Carlisle treated everyone to breakfast since the four of them had to go back to Seattle later that night. I begged my Mom to stay, but I knew they couldn't. They had responsibilities at home and so did Rosalie and Emmett. I knew Edward and Jasper were close to cracking Emmett into moving here with Rose, but there was still some time to go. I knew Rosalie wanted her Mom to be there to help with the baby since Emmett didn't have anyone out here.

We obviously wanted to help, but we all had families that we had to take care of.

So we settled for short weekend trips and long phone calls. It was perfect, but this was the real world. Edward and I got lucky when we were in Seattle to have (almost) everyone we loved nearby. But, them leaving got harder and harder and it sucked dropping them off at the airport. I knew Alice and Jasper were planning to go to Seattle sometime during the summer, but the summer was unpredictable for us.

We had no idea how Carlisle would be doing in the summer.

We didn't even know for sure if he would be with us.

But, we continued to be optimistic that the doctor gave him two years. In June, it would have only been a year since he was giving that timeframe and we needed to be hopeful. We had to hope that the radiation was working and was giving us maximum time with Carlisle. If we lost the hope we had, there really wasn't any point to being here with him.

"When do you think we're gonna go home?" Ava asked that night after we'd put the baby to sleep.

"To Seattle?" Edward asked as he muted the TV.

"Yeah," She whispered. "I like it here, but I kinda miss home."

"I know, Ava." Edward sighed, hugging her close to his side.

"And I really miss Grandma and Pap." She said and I saw the tear streaming down her cheek. "I love Carlisle and Esme but...but they aren't my grandparents. And I hate when Grandma and Pap have to leave."

"It sucks for me too, kid." It told her, pushing her curly hair out of her face. "And we don't know when we're going to go back to Seattle. We're here for..."

"Carlisle, I know." She pulled away from me and crossed her arms.

"How about this." Edward said, turning his body to face her. "How about we ask Alice and Jasper if they'll take you with them when they go to Seattle this summer. You can stay with your grandparents and maybe even hang out with your Dad."

"Yeah?" Ava asked, her face lighting up. "Can I do it Mom?"

"Yeah, if Alice and Jasper are okay with taking you." I nodded. "I just don't want you going alone."

"Deal." She smiled, jumping at me and wrapping her arms around my neck. "Thanks, Mom."


	19. Broken Clock

**Chapter Nineteen: Broken Clock**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

 **Six Months Later**

Dad eventually ended treatment. He told everyone he was so tired of feeling sick and he knew the chemo and radiation wouldn't buy him much extra time. He told Mom that he wanted the time he felt left being able to go somewhere without having to worry about where the bathroom was in case he got sick. He wanted to actually have a life for the little time he had left.

We fought a lot about his choice.

But, Bella continued to reminded me it was his choice. It wasn't mine and Mom's choice...it was his. Dad was smart and he knew more about the medical stuff than we did and he knew when enough was enough. I hated that he'd given up, but in a way I was slightly relieved. It meant he would kind of be like Dad again...he wouldn't be so nauseated all the time.

With the stop of the treatment, though, he started to rapidly decline. He was becoming more frail as the cancer took over his body. He wasn't really looking like my Dad anymore and that was frightening. He was having a harder time breathing and I was afraid he was going to go to sleep and stop breathing and never wake up. I sat up for countless hours, just waiting for the phone to ring.

Fortunately, it hadn't rung in the middle of the night so far.

But, even with all the bad going on, there was still so much good. Emmett and Rosalie had welcomed their first baby girl at the end of March. They named her Megan and she was almost as gorgeous as Paige was when she was first born. I knew how much Bella wanted to be there, but with everything going on with Dad, it was impossible for her to get away.

Seeing Megan made me really want another baby, but I knew Bella wasn't quite there yet. I knew she wanted Paige to be potty trained by the time she had the next baby, and I was almost salting to think Paige and Ava were it for her. Of course I would have been happy with just the four of us, but it was nice to think about becoming a Dad again.

But, I also knew with everything going on with Dad, we couldn't have a baby. Not yet anyway. He needed all my extra attention and if I had a pregnant wife and sick Dad, I'd be so torn I wouldn't know what to do. Or who to take care of.

So I settled by constantly badgering Emmett for pictures of Megan and that was okay for now. I knew when the right time came, Bella and I would know.

"Hello?" I called through the house on a hot, June day.

"In here!" Mom called from the direction of my Dad's office and I headed that way. But, nothing could prepare me for what they were doing.

"What's...what's going on?" I asked as I sat down next to my Mom. I looked at the desk and saw _The Last Will and Testament_ printed on top of a piece of paper. I looked up at my Dad who just shrugged. "We're doing this now?"

"We have to do it at some point, Edward." Dad spoke softly. "It won't write itself."

"But...why now?" I asked, trying not to get worked up. The last thing they needed was me to have a meltdown.

"Edward, you know why now." Mom spoke this time...not looking at me.

"You've still got time." I argued.

"I might not." He shook his head. "Edward...I'm dying."

"You've been dying for over a year now." I said, standing up and pacing around the room. "The doctor said you and two years. You've still got a year."

"Son, he said two years was generous." Dad whispered. "I'm dying."

"No, you have time."

"Every single day, it gets harder and harder for me to breathe." He explained. "It's like running a marathon to get up the steps, and...I'm dying."

"Stop saying that!" I snapped, hitting the wall.

"Please, this is hard enough." Mom cried.

"Dad, you're okay. You've got time."

"I've written the girls into my will." He said, ignoring what I was saying. "I want to pay for their college education. Both Ava and Paige should get to go to great colleges."

"That's great, and Bella will be thrilled, but..."

"And then..."

"I'm not doing this." I cut him off, shaking my head. "Not now." I backed up and turned towards the door. I definitely wasn't ready for this yet. I wasn't ready for him to finalize what he wanted done for his funeral and I sure as hell wasn't ready to get half of his money. I'd rather be dirt poor than get his money at this point in my life.

"Edward!" Mom called as I ran out of the room. I got in my car and didn't even know where I was going until I pulled up in front of Jasper's house. When I knocked on the door, her got it immediately and told Alice he'd be back shortly. We got into his car and he drove us to one of the nearby parks.

"He's dying." I cried into my hands as we sat on one of the large rocks near the pond. "He's like actually dying right now."

"This isn't a surprise, Edward." He whispered, sounding like my parents. "He's been sick for a year and a half now."

"Jazz, he's getting his will together and telling me that he's leaving the girls this and Mom gets that and..." I trailed off. "I don't have another year with him Jasper."

"I'm sorry, man." He sighed, looking out at the water again.

"He said going up the stairs is like running a marathon." I explained. "The doctor...he said we had two years left a year ago."

"You know that they can't really accurately predict when someone is going to die." Jasper wasn't making me feel better. "I'm just saying...don't waste the time you have left with him being mad at him for dying."

"I'm not mad at him for dying..."

"Yes, you are." He cut me off. "You're mad that he's dying and that you can't do anything to stop it. You're mad at him for dying before Paige gets to know him. You're mad that he's leave you and your mom way too soon."

"I'm not mad." I lied again.

"You are." He insisted. "And it's okay to be mad. If my Dad were dying way before he should...I'd be pissed too." He admitted. "But, you gotta forgive him or he's going to die and you'll never be able to forgive yourself."

"How?" I asked. "How do I forgive him for something he can't even fucking control? He's a healthy guy so I don't even know how he ended up with cancer to start with. How do I forgive him?"

"I can help you get to the bottom of your anger, but being able to forgive him is something you're going to have to work out for yourself, Edward." He patted me on the back. "Or at least with your therapist."

"He's not as good as you."

"No one is." He laughed. "You'll be okay. You and your mom are going to get through this."

"How?" I asked again. "I just...I don't know if I can live in a world where my Dad doesn't." I've said this before to Bella, and it was true. Even though for a big portion of my adult life I didn't live anywhere near my parents, Dad had always been there for me. He was the first one I called when Tanya walked out and then he was also the first person I call after finding out Bella was pregnant.

He was my best friend and not having him to share my ups and downs made me miserable.

"You'll learn." He sighed. "I don't know how or when...but you'll learn how to live without your Dad."

"What would you want Ryan to do?" I asked. "If you died...young."

"I wouldn't want him to forget me, but I'd also want him to move on with his life." He told me. "I get it...if my Dad were to die tomorrow I'd be a fucking mess. But it's how we choose to live after our loved one dies rather than worrying about the time they have left."

I nodded. There was so much racing through my mind I had no idea what to do.

"The funny thing is, I hated the man until I was twelve."

"I remember." Jasper laughed. "Damn fucking hospital."

"I feel like...I wasted so much time with him before he actually stepped up his game." I told him.

"He knows you loved him, even when you hated him."

"I knew he was always going to be supportive and he'd always encourage me to chase my dreams, but he was never there. And the support and encouragement just wasn't enough." I told him.

"Is that why you're so upset?" He asked. "I mean, it's really awful that he's going to die soon, but are you so upset because you feel guilty?"

"Kind of." I shrugged. "I mean, you were there Jazz. You were there when I punched all the pillows and screamed profanity because he'd missed another game or recital." I wasn't even making sense anymore. "We should get back or Alice is gonna kill you."

"Yeah," He nodded as we stood up. "Somehow, you'll overcome this."

"My Mom won't."

"She's a lot stronger than you think, Edward." He smiled as we walked towards his car.

"And, who knows, maybe things will get better before they get worse." He shrugged, unlocking his car and opening the door.

Maybe they would get better and the worse wouldn't come for a while.

* * *

Jasper was wrong. Things didn't get better before they got worse. Things just got worse and two weeks after our conversation, Dad was in the hospital again. He was barely breathing on his own anymore and he couldn't go home because of it. They were doing everything they possibly could do, but it just wasn't enough. Dad was just too sick at this point.

The doctors told us to prepare ourselves because he probably wasn't going to live for much longer.

I was just thankful school was over or I never would have gotten anything done. I tried to split my time evenly between the hospital and the house, but eventually Bella told me to just be with my Dad. I hated spending so much time away from my girls, but they were healthy and happy. They had the time that Dad didn't.

Because Rosalie had her Mom to help her with Hunter and Megan, Emmett flew out to be with me and my Dad. It killed me watching him grieve over my Dad because I knew how much my Dad meant to him. They had a connection that I never even had with my Dad and Emmett didn't spend the first twelve years of his life hating Dad.

But, Emmett could only stay for a week since he had a newborn and a two year old at home. And when Emmett left, things just continued to get worse. Dad was getting weaker and weaker and it was now hard for him to get up and go to the bathroom. My Mom was slowly starting to lose it, so I ended up just staying with her most nights. I didn't want her to be alone if she got the call and I was dreading that night.

Every night we slept through without a phone call was like winning the lottery.

But, after two weeks of that, Mom insisted that I go home to my wife and kids. She told me that Dad was stable and if anything happened, she'd call me. I went home and showered in my own bathroom and played with Paige on the floor as she sucked on a teething ring. But, I couldn't focus on anything. I kept checking my phone to make sure I hadn't missed a call and watched the clock click by.

"When was the last time you ate?" Bella asked as I pushed my food around on my plate.

"I'm not hungry." I shrugged.

"Babe, please." She begged.

"Tell me if you're hungry when your Dad is dying." I snapped, shoving the plate away from me.

"I get you're hurting," She said calmly. "But don't you dare talk to me like that."

"I'm gonna go read something upstairs." Ava said, scooting her chair out and running upstairs.

"I'm your wife, not your emotional punching bag." She reminded me, standing up and grabbing Paige. "She needs a bath, think you remember how to be a Dad?"

"Don't you dare try to tell me that I'm not a good father." I huffed, grabbing Paige. "I've been busy."

"Being a Dad isn't something that you can just abandon when something more pressing comes up." Now I was just fucking pissed off.

"I'm not abandoning being a Dad or my kids."

"You haven't slept her in almost two weeks." She reminded me. "Ava asked me the other day if you were ever going to come home or if you were turning into Jake."

"I will never be like Jake." I seethed, offended that anyone could even think that. I loved my kids and I would do anything for them. It was just a really bad time and I was only one person.

"Yeah, well leaving your kid behind is sure like him." She huffed, throwing her towel on the counter. "I get it. This is hard, but you still have a responsibility to this family."

"I'll give her a bath later." I said, putting her down in the living room and grabbing my keys.

"Where are you going?"

"Anywhere else but here!" I shouted, slamming the door shut and I immediately regretted it when I heard Paige's cry pierce through the air. I jumped in my car and just started driving. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I eventually pulled into Jasper's driveway. He got it. He'd understand why I had to be with my parents at this point. I pounded on the door and a few seconds later, a very annoyed Jasper opened the door.

"Edward, what's up?" He asked.

"Let's go get drunk." I suggested. I hadn't been drunk in so long and this felt like the perfect night to go to a bar and just drink. "Let's just be irresponsible for once and just get wasted."

"What?"

"Let's go to a bar and just drink." I shrugged. Did he not hear me the first time. "A lot."

"I can't just go and get drunk, and neither can you." He reminded me. "We have responsibilities...you know...our families?"

"Fuck responsibilities." I snapped.

"Edward, you need to leave." I heard Alice as she came up from behind Jasper.

"Shut up, Alice." I barked, and immediately regretted what I'd just said. Alice and Jasper and Bella had nothing to do with this and I was taking everything out on them. Because I couldn't take my anger out on the person I was actually angry at. My Dad couldn't help the fact that he was dying and I couldn't be man at him for it.

So I yelled at the other people that I loved instead, and I hated myself for it.

"Hey, fuck off man." Jasper shoved me, and then it hit me what'd I said to her and how I treated Bella before.

"No. No. No." I cried, pushing my hair back. "No."

"Come on, man." Jasper grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the house to the front porch. We sat down and just let me sit there with my head in my knees.

What had I just done.

"You need to go home to your wife and apologize." He pointed out the obvious. "And then you need to sleep because you're exhausted and when you're tired...you're plain mean, Edward."

"I need to say sorry to Alice."

"She knows your sorry." Jasper grabbed my shirt, pulling me back to sit with him. "Go home and sleep because you aren't foot to anyone when you're tired." I nodded and grabbed my keys from my pocket and walked to my car. I got inside and it took all I had to pay attention to the road so I wouldn't get into another wreck.

When I got home, the house was dark except for the light shining from Paige's nursery. I carefully pushed open our front door and went upstairs where Bella was changing Paige's diaper and putting her PJ's on.

"Where's Ava?" I asked softly, knowing she wouldn't yell at me with Paige in the room.

"She went over a friends house." She mumbled, pulling Paige's shirt over her head. "There's Paige!" She smiled, making our daughter laugh. "You can sleep on the couch tonight."

"Bella, please." I begged. "Can we at least talk?"

"Maybe tomorrow after you've slept on the couch." She seethed, kissing Paige's cheek and putting her in her crib. She stormed out of the room and I cringed when I heard our bedroom door slam. I looked over at Paige who was standing up in her crib, looking at me.

"Daddy really screwed up, baby." I sighed, reaching in and picking her up. "You still love me, don't you?" She only smiled and pinched the bridge of my nose like she always did.

"Daddy." she smiled, squeezing my nose again.

"You'll be okay, right? Without Grandpa?" I asked, sitting down in the rocking chair. "The stories I tell you will be enough, won't they?"

"Grampa." She whispered, making me tear up.

"Yeah, you're strong." I nodded. "You're gonna be okay once he's gone."

* * *

 **AN** _: I usually don't do these, but please bare with me. Everyone deals with grief differently and anger is one of the stages of grief. It's natural for Edward to be man, and lashing out is normal. Don't hate him for the way he's dealing with his father's illness._


	20. Fight When You Feel Like Flying

**Chapter Twenty: Fight When You Feel Like Flying**

* * *

 **Bella's POV**

I had only ever been this angry one other time in my life after Jake had dumped me. At first, I was crying over all the time I'd wasted with him, but then I was just pissed. I was pissed that he so easily threw me away like garbage and pissed that I'd let myself fall for him. And with Edward acting the way he had at dinner, I was absolutely fuming.

He respected me for a little bit, but within an hour of getting home, he was knocking at our bedroom door. He eventually turned the knob and pushed the door open, and I just froze. What did you say to your husband who you kind of hated at the moment?

"Look, I'm really sorry." He sighed, approaching me from behind. "I shouldn't have ran off like that."

"It's so much more than you running off in the middle of a fight!" I barked, hoping I didn't wake Paige up. "And you know that, Edward."

"I know," He nodded, looking down at the ground. "I should have been here with you these last few weeks and I shouldn't have abandoned my kids."

"No, you shouldn't have." I crossed my arms. I knew what he was going though and I didn't want to be mad at him, but I couldn't help it. He'd crossed a line. "You're an amazing father and son...which is why I don't understand what's been going on these last few weeks. Up until now, you've done a pretty good job at balancing everything."

"I just..." He trailed off and I didn't miss his eyes filling with tears. "I don't know what to do, Bella. I don't want my Mom to be alone if that phone rings and I want my Dad to be taken care of. But I also want to be here with your and our daughters...I feel like there should be four of me or something."

"I understand that." I whispered, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I do, but...you made me feel so small and insignificant these past few weeks, Edward." I admitted. "The last person who made me feel this way was...Jake and then he left."

"Did you think I was going to leave you?" He asked, obvious pain in his voice.

"I didn't know what to think, Edward." I shrugged. "I know I was thinking super irrationally because we made vows together and we aren't seventeen, but..."

"I am so sorry, Bella." He cried, sitting down and hugging me tight. "I am so sorry."

"I hate that you're in so much pain and have to choose between us." I sniffed. "I never wanted you to have to do that and..."

"I'll try and be better at splitting my time." He assured me. "Maybe... I don't know, maybe Mom can come stay with us while Dad is in the hospital."

"That's a good idea." I agreed, knowing Esme needed Edward just as much as I did."It'll be good for her to be around the girls and not all by herself." I smiled. "Please don't do this to me ever again." I begged. I never wanted to be this mad at him again in my entire life.

"Pinky promise." He smiled, holding his pinky out. I laughed as I linked my pinky with his and squeezed. "Do I have to sleep on the couch?"

"If you really want to." I laughed, wiping my cheeks. When things were finally good again, we both changed into PJs and cuddled next to each other, knowing Ava was having a sleepover at her friends house. I fell asleep in his strong arms and I felt like I had my husband back. Even if it was just for a little bit.

The next day, Edward insisted that Esme come and stay with us until Carlisle's final passing. She argued a lot at first, but eventually gave into what Edward was asking because we all knew she didn't want to be alone when the inevitable happened. We got her settled into the guest room, and tried to make it as homy as possible for her. Ava was beyond thrilled to have Esme with us because even though they weren't blood related, she was the grandmother Ava never got from Jake's Mom.

It was nice having Esme around the house and I knew that Paige was a great distraction for her. She'd come home from the hospital, looking completely broken, but once she saw Paige, everything changed. I was so happy that my baby girl could change anyone's mood with one smile, no matter what the situation. Ava had done that as well which is partially what made it so easy to stay home from college when she was born.

With Esme staying here, it also allowed me some time to go see Carlisle with Edward. I knew his parents had always wanted another kid, but because of his job never got around to it. So, I knew Carlisle had always seen me as a daughter the second Edward introduced me as his girlfriend, and I loved him almost as much as I loved my own Dad. It broke me to see him like this, so I only imagined what Edward was going through.

I mean, I had a pretty good idea, but I still didn't know one hundred percent.

After coming home from the hospital one day, we walked into the house and it smelled like five different kinds of food. I smelled garlic and cookies and cinnamon and anything else you could think of. When we walked into the kitchen, Paige was sitting in her high chair, watching her Grandmother run around the kitchen like a mad woman.

"Mom?" Edward asked quietly.

"You're home! How is he? Pale? Breathing okay?" She was going a million miles a minute.

"No real change since yesterday when you saw him." He shrugged. "What are you doing?"

"Well I just couldn't sit still anymore so I took Paige here to the farmers market and then realized we didn't have anything for desert and I didn't know what to make for dinner or desert so I have two kinds of cookies and a lasagna in the over and chicken on the grill with mashed potatoes and glazed carrots and..." I couldn't keep up with her she was talking so fast.

"Mom!" Edward eventually cut her off, taking the tongs from her hands. "Are you okay?"

"He called right after you left to go see him." She cried, sitting down on one of the stools. I grabbed Piage and put her in the living room, and gated it off. When I got back to the kitchen, Esme was almost having a hysterical breakdown. "He wants to come home."

"I'm sure he does, but..." Edward started, but Esme wouldn't let anyone else talk.

"He wants to come home because he doesn't want to die in the dreary hospital room alone." She sobbed and I felt my heart break. "They're letting him because there isn't anything they can do for him at the hospital except keep him comfortable."

"But, he needs the oxygen tubes to breathe." I argued.

"They're going to set him up with equipment at home." She said. "He has people coming over tomorrow to turn one of the guest bedrooms into a hospital room for him."

"When's...when's he coming home?" Edward asked, trying to keep it together. This was it. After a year of fighting, Carlisle was finally losing his fight for good.

"As soon as his room is ready." She said as I smelt something burning. I quickly grabbed and oven mitt and took the dish out of the over and the cheese was burned completely. I also turned off the burners so they wouldn't boil over. "He's going to die soon."

"We really can't do anything?"

"He wants family to be there when it happens." She shrugged, finally able to breathe somewhat normal. "And I don't want to be away from him anymore."

"What can we do?" I asked.

"The furniture needs to be moved out of the bedroom, so if you could ask Jasper to help with that, I'd appreciate that." She whispered and Edward nodded. "And just bring Paige by as much as you can over the next few days."

"Have the doctors...said anything about how much time he's got left?" Edward asked since Carlisle had kicked us out of his room before the doctors got there.

"Two weeks if he's lucky." She cried. "He might not make it an entire week though."

"Mom," Edward cried, wrapping his arms around his Mom's neck. I backed up and walked into the living room and smiled down at Paige who was playing with one of her stuffed animals. She didn't know what was happening and I envied her for that.

The next day, Jasper and Edward moved all the furniture except for the bed out of the room while Alice and I helped Esme with other things. I knew she wouldn't be in the mood to cook when Carlisle got home, so we made a bunch of meals to help her get by until we could make more. We also helped her organize their master closet and picked out something for Carlisle to where in his...casket when he finally passed.

There was something very eery about the fact that Carlisle was going to die in this house. IT felt unsettling and kind of creepy. Pretty soon, he was going to stop breathing and he'd be lying in one of the guest beds. How do you continue living in a house where your husband passed away?

Once there wasn't anything left to do, Edward and Esme left to go get Carlisle from the hospital. He'd asked that Jasper stay to help him upstairs, and Jasper couldn't say no to him. Not now. But, I could tell by the way he was pacing around the room and not looking at anyone how hard this was on him. Between the three of them, Jasper had stayed the calmest through Carlisle's illness and I figured it was probably just hitting him that his second Dad was about to die.

"Honey, please sit." Alice pleaded as she put Ryan on the floor to play with Paige.

"I can't just sit, Alice." He sighed. "I need...I need to do something."

"Yo've done everything you can do." I told him.

"Then...why do I feel like I haven't done a thing since moving here?" He asked, sitting down in a chair across from where Alice and I were sitting. "Why do I feel like Carlisle thinks I don't care."

"That's insane." Alice shook her head. "Carlisle knows you love him."

"I should have been there more."

"You're a busy man and Carlisle knows and understands that." Alice whispered.

"I just can't believe this is it." He whispered, his voice cracking. Alice walked over to him and sat down in her lap, hugging him close. I could see his body shaking and decided to give them some space. I went into the kitchen and made sure the oven was set for the meal I'd prepared for tonight and got myself a glass of water, just waiting for the time to pass. Finally, I heard a car door being slammed and saw Jasper get up and go outside.

I grabbed Paige and went to the door, watching as Edward helped Carlisle out of the backseat. He looked even more frail now that he wasn't confined to a bed and I had to keep myself from crying. Edward and Jasper both wrapped their arms around him and slowly walked him up the walkway and into the house. They helped him up the steps, and even with them helping him, it took a solid five minutes to get him upstairs. Just as they'd gotten to the room, I saw an unfamiliar car pull into the driveway.

I noticed Carlisle's doctor step out of it and then went to his trunk and started pulling machines out. I noticed one of them was a heart monitor and then he pulled out what looked like an oxygen tank. Edward came rushing downstairs and took one of the machines and pushed passed me again to go upstairs. Alice and I waited downstairs until his doctor came back downstairs and left.

"We gotta go." Alice sighed after we'd cleaned up from dinner. "We wanna stay, but Ryan desperately needs a bath and then we gotta put him down."

"Thank you so much for all your help." I whispered, hugging her tightly.

"Call if you need anything." She reminded me for the hundredth time that night. I gave her a smile as I watched them walk towards their car.

"Dad wants us to go too." Edward sighed as he came up behind me. "He says that he's fine and wants us to go get some sleep. It's been a long day."

"It sure has." I sighed as I grabbed my purse from the hook. I went upstairs to say goodbye to Carlisle, but he'd already fallen asleep.

I was afraid this was the last time I'd ever see him breathing.

After picking Ava up from her friends house, we headed home and went straight to bed. The day had been emotionally and physically draining and I had a feeling this was going to be our lives for the next week. Both Edward and I had a restless night and we were even more tired the next morning when we got Paige ready. Ava begged us to take her to see Carlisle, but Carlisle refused. He didn't want to worry her and seeing him like this was only going to do just that.

I decided to stay home with the girls that day to give Edward time with his Dad. When I kissed him goodbye, I reminded him to eat and say hello to his Dad for me. I just prayed that when he got home, Carlisle was still alive. I'd been praying that ever since he'd gone into the hospital for good, and it had worked well so far.

Just after I'd put Paige down for her afternoon nap, I decided the best way to distract myself from what was happening was housework. With everything that had been going on, chores had been the last thing on my mind and our house desperately needed a good cleaning. But, when I was hallway done cleaning the downstairs bathroom, there was a knock on the door.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" I asked when I opened the door. This was defiantly not the time for him to be demanding time with Ava.

"I heard Edward's Dad isn't doing so well." He whispered. "Ava told me when we talked the other day."

"You talked to Ava?" I asked since she hadn't mentioned calling Jake at all.

"She wanted to thank me for her birthday gift." He shrugged and I was kind of disappointed in her. Her birthday was in April and it was now the beginning of August. "I sent her the second half to her present just a week ago when it finally got to me." He explained when he noticed my expression.

"So, what are you doing here?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips.

"I thought I could take Ava out for the day and give you some space." He said quietly and I was astounded. Jake was offering to help me out and wanted Ava because that's what I needed at the time. "I won't argue if you don't want me to, but I thought I'd ask."

"You came all the way to Chicago to...take her off my hands for a few hours?"

"I miss her, Bella." He shrugged. "And...I know how much she loves Edward's father...she must be hurting."

"Daddy?" She asked from behind me. She hadn't called him Daddy since she was ten years old and it was kind of heartwarming. "What are you doing here?"

"You wanna get some ice cream and then see a movie?" He asked.

"Mom?" She asked, turning to me.

"Yeah, go see a movie with your Dad." I smiled, giving her a hug.

"Call me if anything happens."

"I promise I will." I assured her as I tried giving her some money, but Jake just swatted my hand away.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning the house and playing with Paige. When Ava got home, she told me everything that Jake had said and that he'd apologized for being such a crap Dad. She said she wasn't ready to forgive him yet, but I knew they were finally on the right path. But, everything good that had happened that day disappeared when Edward got home.

"What's up?" I asked as I closed our bedroom door.

"We think it's going to happen tonight." He cried as he wrapped his arms around my waist and burying his face in my neck. "He's not doing very well at all."

"I'll call Alice and have her take the girls for the night." I whispered as I rubbed his back. I really hoped we wouldn't have to take advantage of their generosity until later, but it was finally time. After Edward had let go of me and went into the bathroom to wash his face, I grabbed my phone and call Alice.

"Bella?" She asked, her voice immediately filled with concern.

"Can you..." I cried. "Can you come take the girls?"

"Of course." She agreed. "What's..."

"They think he's going to...go tonight, Alice." I explained. "He's not breathing well at all...even with the help of the oxygen."

"Okay, I'm going to finish feeding Ryan and then I'll be right over for the girls."

"You have the extra carseat?" I asked from the last time Jasper had taken Paige with him.

"Yeah," She whispered. "Bells?"

"What?"

"I'm so sorry." She cried and I buried my face in my hand...wishing to wake up from this nightmare.


	21. Falling Down on Your Knees

**Chapter Twenty-One: Falling Down on Your Knees**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

"Hi, baby girl." I cried as I went into Paige's nursery before Alice came and picked them up. I reached into her crib and gently lifted her into my arms. She cried in protest, but quickly snuggled close to me. "I love you so much." I told her, tears streaming down my cheek.

"Edward," Bella's soft voice said from the door. "Jasper is here to pick the girls up."

"Okay," I nodded, wiping my cheeks and grabbing her diaper bag from her changing table. I carried her downstairs and buckled her into the carseat in the back of Jasper's car. I gave Ava a big hug and told her to take care of Paige tonight and she promised she would. She knew what was happening, but she decided to just not say anything to us about it. Once they were gone, Bella handed me the keys to my car and we headed over to my parents house.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked softly as she grabbed my hand while we were stopped at a red light.

"That it shouldn't be time yet." I whispered. "He's only sixty-four, Bella. He should have lived until he was ninety-four."

"I so wish that for you, babe." She kissed my hand before the light turned green. We finally pulled up in front of my parents house and somehow...it was different. It was cold and dark and not at all happy like it was when I was growing up here. Instead of the happy memories I used to have here, they were all covered up by the fact that my Dad was dying inside.

Bella got out of the car and just wrapped her arms around my waist as we looked at the house. We moved in to this house when I was five years old, before I started hating Dad for never being around. Dad told me he'd let me do whatever I wanted to my bedroom. He told me tell him a theme and he'd make it happy because I was not happy at all about moving here. I liked our smaller house on the other side of town, but this was better suited for us and closer to where both Mom and Dad worked.

 _"You get to pick whatever you want to do with your room. Any theme you want, Edward." Dad told me as he scooped me into his arms. I was small for five._

 _"Anything?" I giggled as he threw me over his shoulder. "I can pick anything?"_

 _"You sure can, buddy." He laughed. "What do you think?" He asked, setting me down in front of the stairs._

 _"It's too big." I humphed, crossing my arms. "I like our small house better."_

 _"Just wait until all the furniture is here and Mommy decorates some more." Dad assured me, bending down to be at my level. He was still around a lot of the time, this was before he started missing things. We were still good pals at this point. "It won't seem so big then."_

 _"Sports." I laughed as I ran through the empty kitchen and Dad chased me. "All kinds of sports."_

 _"Baseball?"_

 _"Yes!"_

 _"Soccer?"_

 _"Yes!"_

 _"Water polo?"_

 _"Huh?" I asked as he scooped me up in his arms again and threw me over his shoulder. He did that a lot when I was a kid and only stopped when I just got too big. He carried me upstairs and set me down, looking down the long hallway._

 _"Go ahead." He pushed me a little bit. "Pick a room."_

 _"I can pick my room?" I asked, looking up at him._

 _"You can." He smiled._

 _"Which one is yours?" I asked and he grabbed my small hand and pulled me down towards the end of the hallway. He opened the door to a big, empty room and let me step inside. After looking around for a little, I went back into the hallway and walked across the hall._

 _"You want this one?" He asked._

 _"I don't wanna ever be away from you and Mommy." I told him as I stood in the middle of the big room._

 _"There are bigger rooms for more toys." He told me but I shrugged. "Then this will be your room." I ran towards him and hugged his leg tightly, never wanting to let go. "And don't worry."_

 _"About what?" I asked as he knelt down to be at eye level._

 _"Even when you're a big, bad grown up, you'll never have to be away from me and Mommy." He smiled, leaning in and kissing my cheek. "We'll always be here to protect you and love you."_

 _"I love you, Daddy." I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck._

 _"I love you too, son." He cradled my head as he picked me up off the ground._

I made my way upstairs and opened my old bedroom door. I looked around at the dark blue walls with the random posters on the wall. I had changed my room a few times after I grew out of the sports memorabilia, but the color had stayed the same, and so had the furniture. I heard the door open again and my eyes started filling with tears again.

"I kept that sports stuff on my walls until I was ten." I laughed as I looked in at my old room. "I told them I was just too old to have baseballs and soccer balls taped to my wall."

"Your Mom has shown me a lot pictures of that room." Bella whispered, wrapping her hands around my waist from behind. "It was pretty cute. "

"It was." I agreed,

"Maybe we can do that if we ever have a boy." she whispered.

"Maybe," I sighed, looking around at my room. Really, nothing had changed in here since it didn't have to. They had enough spare rooms in the house that there wasn't a need to turn my room into a home gym when I moved out. I hoped one day, when the girls were grown up and moved out, that Bella and I could keep their rooms for them.

"Edward?" Mom's soft voice said from the doorway. We turned around and she didn't even look like my Mom anymore. She was in her PJ's and one of Dad's old Yale tshirts, and her eyes were red and puffy. She looked like a whole new person who I didn't know at all. "He's asking for you."

"Oh," I nodded, removing Bella's arms from my waist and walking down the hall where my Dad was staying. He was definitely different from when I saw him a few hours ago. His skin was even paler and I could tell how much more labored his breathing was. "I was just telling Bella about when we first moved here and you let me do whatever I wanted to my bedroom."

"I loved...that...room." He said as he tried to breathe. "Remember...when I...taught...you how...to throw...a...baseball?"

"How could I forget?" I laughed, sitting down in the chair next to his bed.

 _"I can't believe I get to finally have my own baseball bat and glove." I said as I pulled my Dad through the store. He told me that when I was big enough, he'd teach me everything there was to know bout baseball. I was finally seven and he finally thought I was ready. "This is gonna be so cool."  
_

 _"Which glove looks the best?" Dad asked as we stood in Dicks Sporting Goods in the baseball section. I looked at all my options and pointed to a black and green glove because it honestly looked the coolest._

 _"This one is cool." I smiled up at him with one of my front teeth missing. I was seven now and he was trying to make up lost time with me and decided it was time he teach me how to play his favorite sport...the correct way._

 _"You're gonna buy a glove based on what's cool?" He chuckled, pulling the glove down so I could try it on._

 _"I like it and it fits." I told him, slipping the glove on my hand. "How do I look?"_

 _"Like a professional." He laughed, taking my hand and pulling me down another aisle, grabbing a thing of baseballs, and going to the check out line. We drove home and sang along to Journey like we'd been doing for as long as I could remember, and I bolted to the backdoor once he had his car parked._

 _"Now, teach me how to play!" I laughed as I jumped around to face him again. He just laughed at me, telling me to be patient while he got his glove, and ran inside. I practiced 'warming up' my throwing arm and ended up falling on my butt after using so much force._

 _"That's not bad." Dad laughed as I stood up. "Now, let's try something else."_

 _After two hours outside, we were both exhausted and couldn't bare to do anymore practice. We headed inside and he poured us both glasses of Mom's lemonade and waited excitedly to get home. With Dad's funny work schedule, he was typically home on weekdays while Mom was at work, but no one minded. He'd worked it out so he mostly had dinner with us unless there was an emergency._

 _Lately, there was always an emergency._

 _"So, your birthday is coming up." Dad smiled as he poured himself a second glass. "Any requests for a birthday party theme?"_

 _"Hmmmmm..." I thought long and hard. "Lego!"_

 _"You want a Lego party?" He asked, surprised that my request wasn't music or sports related._

 _"I'm tired of sports ball birthday cakes." I laughed. "Plus, the new Lego set comes out soon and it looks so cool."_

 _"Then a Lego party you shall have." Dad smiled, clinking his glass to mine as a promise._

"I was trying so hard to be good, I fell on my ass about three times that day." I laughed, remembering that my butt had actually hurt for like two days after. "You were a good coach."

"I...should...have been...there...more." He breathed and my eyes filled with tears.

"No, Dad. I get it." I assured him. "You had an important job and people needed you."

"You...needed me..."

"Dad, we don't need to do this." I told him. "Not now. We've already worked this out and you've already apologized too many times. You were a great Dad...I couldn't have asked for a better man to raise me."

"You're...a great...son...Edward." He panted and I could tell how hard it was for him to talk. "And...an amazing... father... to...those...girls."

"Thanks...I learned from the best." I smiled.

"You...taking on...the role...of...Ava's...father..." He trailed off, catching his breath. "I've...never been... so... proud ... before."

"She's my daughter." I shrugged. "Blood or no blood, she's my daughter and I love her."

"Edward..." He whispered. "You...were...always my...biggest..." He trailed off again, trying so hard to catch his breath. "Accomplishment."

"Dad," I cried, letting a tear finally stream down my cheek. "Dad, just...just hold on. Just a little bit longer."

"It's...my time...son." He panted.

"No," I argued.

"You'll...be okay."

"What about Mom?" I asked. "And Paige and Ava?"

"It'll be...okay." He trailed off. "Take...care...of...your Mom...for...me."

"I promise."

"And...always cherish...Bella." He smiled weakly. "Always...tell her...you...love her. Even...when...you're...fighting."

"I will. I promise." I nodded.

"I...love...you...Edward." He gasped.

"I love you too, Dad." I smiled as he shut his eyes. "Dad?" I asked as I heard a flatline coming from his heart monitor. "Dad? No!" I yelled, standing up and placing the palm of my hand over his sternum like he taught me when I was a teenager and started doing compressions.

"Edward," Mom said from behind me.

"Call 911!" I called as I continued to press down. "Come on, Dad."

"Baby, he's gone." Mom cried.

"Call an ambulance!" I told them again as I continued to do compressions. I could hear the heart monitor making slight noises each time I pressed down. He wasn't dead. Not yet. "Dad, please...don't do this. Not yet."

"Edward." Bella cried and I turned to face her. She had tears streaming down her cheeks with a look I'd never forget. "Edward..." My compressions slowed, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't give up on him.

"I can't give up on him." I told her.

"Edward, you're not giving up on him." She whispered. "You've done so much for him over this last year. He knows you'd never give up on him."

"Just call 911!" I told them again.

"Edward, an ambulance isn't coming." I heard Dad's doctor say. He must have been downstais in the kitchen when we got here.

"Shut up!" I barked.

"He's gone, Edward." He whispered. "No amount of CPR is going to bring him back."

"No," I whispered as my compressions slowed and eventually stopped. I heard the flatline again and then heard the doctor call a time of death, but nothing mattered in that moment. I turned to face Bella who had tears in her eyes. "No...no...no." I cried as I ran from the room, and down the steps into the backyard. I ran to the spot where Dad always set up home plate when we played baseball and sat down in the grass.

 _"I can't believe it!" I yelled happily as I bolted into the kitchen, throwing my hat up in the air. "We won the freaking championship!"_

 _"It was a pretty remarkable win." Dad smiled as him and Mom followed me inside. "You threw some amazing pitches."_

 _"Oh, the other team didn't stand a chance." I laughed._

 _"How does it feel to be a champion for your senior year?" Mom asked as she poured us a glass of lemonade. Ever since Dad taught me how to play, it was a tradition to drink her yummy lemonade after each practice and game._

 _"Amazing." I smiled since we'd come to close the last three years but hadn't actually been champions. "Thanks for teaching me how to play the game, Dad."_

 _"Hey, I just bought you the glove." He laughed. "Coach James taught you how to play."_

 _"But you bought me the glove." I repeated. "You started my love for the game."_

 _"I'm so proud of you, Edward." He smiled, clapping me on the back. "Boston University is lucky to have you."_

I was so engrossed in my memory, that I didn't even hear the sliding doors open. I felt someone sit down next to me, but I was so numb I couldn't be bothered to lit my head and look at the person.

"We're gonna be okay, sweetie." I heard my Mom's soft voice say as she sat down next to be, but I refused to look at her.

"Dad just died." I reminded her. "How can you say that it's going to be okay?"

"Because I know your father." She whispered. "Because I know that he'd want us to be happy and...okay."

"I just..." I trailed off. "I just don't know how things will ever be the same."

"Things won't be the same." She told me sadly. "But..."

"We'll be okay?" I asked sarcastically.

"I need to believe that, honey." She said. "I need to believe that things will be okay or I won't make it through this. Your father was the love of my life and...I never imagined myself widowed at sixty-two years old. I imagined us sitting on this porch, sipping lemonade."

"You do make the best lemonade." I smiled.

"I always pictured us dancing together at our grandkids wedding," She sniffed. "So I need to believe things are going to be okay or nothing will ever be okay. All the happy moments won't be happy moments anymore, so I'm choosing to believe everything will be okay."

"I love you, Mom." I whispered as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"I love you too, honey." She spoke softly and I could feel her body shaking ever so slightly. I wrapped my arm around her and just held her tight, afraid that if I let her go, she'd disappear too.

"I need my kids." I said abruptly, standing up and walking through the house. I found Bella sitting in the living room by herself and my heart broke. She was crying all by herself because I was dealing with things my own way. "I'm going to get the girls."

"Edward, just wait." She protested, standing up and walking over to me. "It's three in the morning...don't bother Alice and Jasper."

"I need my kids, Bella." I told her. "I need them right now."

"I'll stay with your Mom." She eventually gave in, knowing how much I need to be with my daughters. I drove over to Alice and Jasper's house, and just sat in the car and cried. I cried for all the memories we'd never make with my Dad. I cried for Paige who would never know just how fantastic her other grandpa was. I cried for my Mom who had to learn how to be by herself for the first time in thirty-eight years. I cried for myself and the fact that I didn't have a Dad anymore.

When I cried all the tears I had left, I unbuckled myself and made my way to the door. I knocked quietly, not wanting to wake everyone in the house up. When no one answered, I pulled my phone out and called Jasper, but he was fast asleep and I didn't want to wake Alice up by calling her phone. I reached into the potted plant and took the key from the dirt and unlocked the front door. They'd told us the key was there in case of emergencies, and this was definitely an emergency.

I quietly walked upstairs and opened Ryan's nursery door, knowing they had Paige set up in here. I turned on the small lamp and looked in at her fast asleep in the pack-n-play. Before I could grab her through, the door slammed open again and the big light turned on.

"Jeeze, I thought you were some creepy kidnapper!" Jasper said when he saw that it was only me. "What are you doing here?"

"Dad died." I whispered and he didn't waste anytime walking over to me and wrapping his arms around me. I didn't want to cry again, but I was powerless against my emotions now that I was with the only brother I'd ever had.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." He cried after he'd let me go. I reached in and picked Paige up and just held her close. This time, she didn't cry in protest and just let me hold her.

"You're Grandpa loved you so much." I whispered as I rocked her back and forth. "He loved all of us."


	22. Not a Cry You Hear at Night

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Not a Cry You Hear at Night**

* * *

 **Bella's POV**

"We booked our flight for tomorrow morning." Rosalie told me on the phone the day after Carlisle passed away. "We're land around noon if everything goes according to plan."

"Great," I whispered. It had been a long day and I had a feeling things were only going to get worse. Edward was slowly starting to shut down and I hated seeing him in so much pain. The only thing that was keeping hims going was the funeral planning, and that was dragging him down. I was really thankful Alice was here helping me take care of the girls.

"How's Edward?"

"Destroyed." I sighed. "He could barely get out of bed this morning...and it's only day one. And on top of that, I haven't been feeling very well the last few days."

"The first few days are always the hardest." She whispered. "He'll get better...things will get back to normal eventually."

"I hope so." I nodded as I heard a baby's screams from the other line.

"Megan's demanding my attention." Rosalie laughed. "I'll talk to you later. Love ya, Bells."

"Love you too." I smiled. "Give Megan a kiss for me."

"I will." And she hung up the phone. After cleaning up the breakfast dishes, I took Ava out so she could get a dress for the funeral. She always refused to wear very dark colors and didn't own any black dresses. It took us five stores, but she was eventually able to find one that she liked and I also grabbed Paige a black dress to wear as well. It was only one by the time we got back home, but I felt like I'd run a marathon earlier.

I was already exhausted and it was only day one.

After I put Paige down for her nap, I distracted myself by ironing the things Edward and I would be wearing for the funereal, even though it wasn't for another few days. But it was good to be prepared and I desperately needed something to do. And then, when those things were ironed, I started ironing our entire closet because I didn't know what else to do. The rest of the house was clean since I'd cleaned it a few days ago when Carlisle came home from the hospital, and not even Paige could really trash the house in a few days.

As I was hanging up the last few shirts, I started feeling sick to my stomach and dropped what was in my hands. I gripped my stomach and bolted for the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before throwing up. When I was done, I flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth just as I heard the front door opening. I went back to finish hanging everything up, not wanting to worry him about my getting sick.

He had enough to deal with right now.

"How'd it go?" I asked as he walked into our bedroom and pulled his polo off.

"It went as okay as it could have." He shrugged, reaching in our dressing and pulling out one of his old Boston University shirts. "We got pretty much everything done."

"That's good." I whispered, turning around to face him. "Rosalie and Emmett should be here around noon tomorrow."

"Okay," He nodded as he released me from his grip. "Did you talk to Emmett?"

"Rosalie." I shook my head. "She said that Emmett's doing as...okay as he can. He's been keeping busy with Hunter."

"I wish he could have been here to say goodbye."

"Carlisle knew that Emmett loved him." I reminded him, and he gave me a distracted nod.

I'm exhausted." He said. "I'm gonna take a nap." He said, laying down o our bed. I finished what I was doing and left him alone in the room for some much needed peace and quiet. When I passed by the main upstairs bathroom, I heard quiet sobs on the other side of the door and I quietly knocked.

"Ava?" I asked softly. "Sweetie, you okay?"

"Fine," Her voice cracked. She obviously wasn't fine so I twisted the doorknob. I pushed open the door and saw her sitting on the floor with her face in her knees. My heart broke at the sight and I immediately felt awful. I was so worried with how Edward was doing, I hadn't really considered how Ava would be feeling after this.

She'd gotten really close with Carlisle over the last year since moving here.

"Ava." I whispered, sitting down next to her and wrapping my arms around her.

"I'm sorry." She cried, laying her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Mom."

"Why?" I asked, pushing her hair out of her face.

"For crying." She sniffed. "I should be strong for Edward...I don't want to make it worse."

"Baby, you grieving isn't going to make it worse for Edward." I assured her. "He knows you loved Carlisle too, and knows that you're upset."

"I should be strong though."

"Who told you that?"

"Dad." She shrugged. Of course Jake had put stupid thoughts in her head.

Stupid Jake.

"Ava, we're all grieving." I assured her. "It's okay to not be strong."

"It's weird, he wasn't my Grandpa...but I already miss him, Mom."

"I miss him too, baby." I whispered, kissing the top of her hair. "I miss him a lot."

* * *

The next few days didn't get any easier, and if at all possible, they got worse. When Edward was physically here with us, his mind was somewhere else and then he was with his Mom most of the days. I knew he didn't want to 'abandon' us again, but I totally understood him being with his Mom now.

Esme needed him more than I did.

And, on top of that, I was feeling so sick every afternoon. I knew what it could be, but I didn't want to take a test yet. I needed these next few weeks to be about Edward and his healing process and I just didn't want to burden him with it. I knew there was no harm to waiting a few weeks to take a test and just prayed Edward wouldn't walk in on me throwing up in the middle of the afternoon.

He'd know I was pregnant before even telling him.

So, I did everything I could to keep myself busy. I cooked some more meals for Esme and dusted every nook and cranny. I played with Paige and went through some baby flashcards with her, just wanting her to be as smart as her big sister. I even kicked a soccer ball around with Ava, something I'd always left Edward to do.

The morning of the viewing crept up on all of us. It had gone as well as it could and Edward only disappeared twice the entire day. There were tons of people who walked in and out of the doors and it surprised me just how many people Carlisle had touched. From old patients to college friends, it felt like the entire city of Chicago came to pay their respects.

"I can't believe how big she is." I whisper as I held a sleeping Megan in my arms after everyone but family had left the funeral home after the funeral. She looked just like Rosalie and it was honestly kind of scary.

"I can't believe Ava is fifteen." She smiled down at her beautiful baby. "Sixteen years ago you were taking that pregnancy test."

"No, sixteen years ago I was getting myself knocked up." I laughed.

"True." She sighed as Emmett and Jasper walked back into the room. Emmett gently took Megan from my arms so he could put her in her carseat and told Rose that Alice had Hunter. I looked at Jasper and he shook his head, saying that he hadn't found Edward yet. Once they were gone, I checked on Ava who was keeping Paige busy in the small toy room and went in search of my husband.

I found him sitting on the ground behind the building, out of sight of anyone who wasn't looking closely. I went over and sat down next to him, immediately smelling brandy on his breath.

"This was my Dad's favorite." He smiled, handing me the bottle. Knowing I was pregnant, I didn't take a drink and told him I couldn't partake in the fun since someone had to drive us home.

"Let's go home, baby." I whispered, putting the cap on the glass bottle and then standing up. I grabbing his hand and helped him to his feet and then steadied him when he began to spin. "You okay?"

"I've been good all week." He reminded me because he was right. I was kind of surprised that he didn't even have his usual glass of wine at dinner this week. "I just needed...I wanted to feel numb."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Edward." I whispered as I walked him to the car. I got him into the front seat before going inside to get Paige and Ava. I told Ava not to say anything to Edward and to just leave him be. She seemed to understand me and agreed not to say anything.

The next morning, the not knowing if I was actually pregnant was getting to me. I knew I had some extra tests from when I found out I was pregnant with Ava, but I just couldn't. Not yet. I had too much to do this morning in order to get ready for the funeral this afternoon.

I went downstairs and made breakfast for everyone since they were all going to the funeral with our family. After I'd set the table, Edward came downstairs in his suit and told me he had to go be with his Mom this morning. I gave him a gentle kiss and reminded him that I loved him before he left.

After everyone arrived, we settled into a earth-shattering quiet breakfast. No one knew what to say and no one really wanted to talk. Everyone at this table had some sort of special connection to Carlisle, and for once even Alice didn't know what to say to make the situation better. Once breakfast was done, Alice told me she'd clean everything up since I still had to get ready.

I got myself showered and put on some sweats and a T-shirt before grabbing one of the tests from the vanity drawers. I was still kind of stumped as to how I'd gotten pregnant since I was on birth control, but that didn't matter. Once I had my hair and make up done, I really had to pee and took this chance to take the test. I set my timer and paced around my bathroom waiting for the ding.

"Bells?" Emmett asked from the other side of the door and without thinking, I told him to come in. "Do you have a tide stick or something? I got orange juice on my shirt."

"Top drawer." I waved him off, too nervous to get it for him.

"Bella?" He asked after I heard the drawer opening. I turned to see him looking at the pregnancy test just as my timer dinged.

"You look." I said, turning around. "I can't. You look."

"Positive." He whispered and I turned to face him, snatching the test out of his hands. I looked down at the screen that read _pregnant_ and burst into tears. I wasn't sure if they were happy or sad tears, but they streaming down my face regardless.

"This was not how this was supposed to happen." I cried. "Carlisle was supposed to be here! He was supposed to hold his second grandchild and spoil them and babysit them when Edward and I wanted a night to ourself." I spat. "He was supposed to be here."

"Oh, Bella." Emmett whispered as he walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. He cradled my head and held me there while I cried like an idiot. Suddenly, everything was hitting me and there wasn't anything I could do to stop the wave of emotion. So I just stood in Emmett's arm and cried.

"Hey..." Edward trailed off when he walked into the bathroom. Emmett quickly shoved the test in his pocket...I was seriously going to have to thank him for that later...and Edward quirked his eyebrow at us. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." I lied as Emmett released me and Edward took his place. He kissed my forehead and gave me a tight squeeze. "What are you doing here? I thought you were with Mom?"

"She wanted some Paige time before this day from hell started." He sighed as he let go of me. "You sure your'e okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be good." I lied. "Can you get Alice or Rosalie for me please?" I asked.

"Sure," He nodded, leaning in and giving me a kiss on the cheek before exiting the bathroom. Emmett came back upstairs and gave me back the test and then went downstairs to be with Jasper.

"What's up?" Alice asked as she popped her head in the bathroom. "Have you been crying?"

"It's just been a long few weeks and...I've been avoiding stuff." I shrugged. "Can you zip my dress?" I asked since I'd changed when Edward left to get Alice. She came over and held the zipper tougher, but halfway up, the zipped stopped zipping.

"Bells, it won't zipped." She sighed as she continued to try and get it to move.

"Shit," I sighed. Of course I'd grown just a little too much. "I don't have another dress."

"Let me see what I can do." She smiled as she walked into my bathroom and grabbed the hand soap. She pumped some into her hand and then gently rubbed it over the zipped. By some miracle, the dress ended up zipping, but it was super uncomfortable. And since it was tight, it showed off the very small bump in my belly.

Hopefully everyone would be too preoccupied today to even notice me or my bump.

"You sure you're okay?" She asked as I put on some nude lipstick. It was bad enough that Emmett knew the truth and I didn't want anyone else knowing before Edward. Of course I was aching to tell my best friends, but I couldn't. Not yet.

"I'm just tired." Which was true. With everything going on, I wasn't sleeping despite how tired I was when we laid down for bed. After I got everything ready in my purse, I headed downstairs and made sure the diaper bag was ready before we could leave. Edward drove his Mom while Alice rode with me to give me a hand once we got to the funeral home.

There wasn't anything I hated more than the scent of death. It was so distinctive and there was no avoiding it at a funeral. We walked into the large room full of flowers where Carlisle was laid for the viewing, and I saw Edward just standing next to his casket. Esme was nowhere in sight, so I handed Paige to Alice so I could go be with him.

"This is it." He whispered as I grabbed his hand in mine. "This is the last time I'll ever see him."

"You have your memories with him." I said as I snuggled close to him. He untangled his hand from mine and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, kissing the top of my head. "You'll be okay, Edward."

"That's what Mom keeps saying." He spoke softly, his eyes never leaving his Dad's body. "And I think...I think it will be okay." And I could have cried hearing those words coming from his mouth. It was like all of a sudden everything hit him and he was finally coming to terms with everything."

After Edward and I had taken our time, we stood back and let everyone else pay their last respects to Carlisle. Jasper was calm like he always was and Emmett had finally started to lose it. He had been so together up until this point and my heart broke for him as he walked away from the casket. Esme finally reappeared and held her husbands hand one last time.

Once she was done, she came over to me and I hugged her tightly as the funeral home director closed the casket. Three other friends of Carlisle's walked into the room and grabbed the casket handles and carried it to the nurse outside. Once everything was taken care of, the family got into the limo and we made our way to the cemetery. The carried his casket to where Carlisle was going to be put to rest and set it onto the lift that was lower him to the groud when we were all gone.

"I would take nothing away from the grief you feel today. I would not say to you that everything is all right. Because it's not and you know it. You hurt." The paster spoke quietly. "God made us so that we can have relationships with one another and when that relationship is lost we feel pain. You have lost a loved one - and it hurts."

I listened to the paster speak of God and heaven and for once, actually wondered if there really was a God. I mean, I wasn't raised in a strict Christian household or anything, but Mom always told me there was something more than this life on earth. She always told me she believed in a God because if she didn't, what was the point of living on earth?

But, as I looked around at my broken husband and grieving mother-in-law, I wondered why a good God would take Carlisle so soon? Why would a God who loves us and wanted the best for us take a man who was still so young? Why?

"Carlisle's asked his son to write his eulogy." The pastor spoke and Edward walked over to where he stood.

"I...loved my Dad. Even when I hated him...I loved him." He started, his voice braking. "Dad was always there for me in both body and spirit, showing me by his living example what it was like to be a father and a husband, that it was possible for a man to show tenderness, to be unafraid of open affection with his children, and to be a loving husband. He was selfless with us all.

"It is impossible to speak of my father without also speaking of my mother, because they were one. Together, they showed me what true love was like, taught me what a marriage should be. Dad loved us all more than he loved himself. When it became too hard for him to live on, the pain that was the greatest for him was never his own, but rather the pain that he saw in us..." He trailed off.

When I listened to Edward speak of his Dad, I couldn't help but smile. Every reason Edward is who he is was because of the way Carlisle and Esme raised him. My husband was probably as close to perfection as could be and I just wished I would have told Carlisle that more often.

"I never doubted my father's is the greatest gift that a father can give to his son. I consider it a miracle that he had the strength of spirit to be able to give to me what he was never given himself." He trailed off, unable to hold in his tears anymore.

"I will always love you and I will always miss you."


	23. A Thousand Times

**Chapter Twenty-Three: A Thousand Times**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

I never imagined what the worst day of my life would be. As a kid, I pictured the best day of my life multiple times and I'd had those days. The day I married Bella and the day Paige was born was tied for the best days of my life. But, no matter how amazing those days were, the day of my Dad's funeral greatly outweighed them.

I hated that the bad outweighed the good and that a single moment could change my entire world. I hated that in one second, I went from being the son of Carlisle and Esme Masen to the son of Esme Masen. I hated that in a single second, I'd gone from having a father to not having a father.

I hated that the worst day of my life had already happened.

Grief sucked. It sucked not knowing what the day was going to be like when you woke up. I didn't like the unknown and grief only left me with a bunch of unknowns. Would I want to go to my house today? Did I want to talk to people today? Was I going to be able to eat anything today?

I just wanted this to be over and honestly, I wasn't sure if it was ever going to be over.

The only thing keeping me together was Paige. She was so precious and innocent and she didn't know what pain was yet. She didn't know anything that had been happening the last few days and I envied her for that. Because my Dad had died, I was wanting to be a one year old again. I wanted to be oblivious to everything because when you're oblivious, you don't feel any pain.

"Your eulogy was beautiful." Bella whispered as I unzipped her dress that night after the wake.

"I'd been working on it for a while." I admitted. I hoped I wouldn't have to use it for a while, but I knew once Dad did die, I wouldn't be able to think clearly. "You think he would have liked it?"

"He would have loved it." She gave me a sad smile as she pulled one of my old t-shirts on and a pair of sleep shorts.

"Bella?" I asked as I pulled my own t-shirt on.

"Yeah, babe?" She turned me and I gently wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Thank you for being my rock." I cried, closing my eyes and letting yet another tear fall. I was so damn tired of crying. It wasn't like I thought crying was unmanly, but it was just getting annoying. I was tired of my eyes hurting and having a headache because I was so dehydrated.

"We made vows to each other." She whispered, reaching up and wiping my cheek. "For better or worse. This is...one of those worse."

"He's not in pain anymore." I nodded my head, reminding that to myself more than to her. That was one of the things I had to keep reminding myself. I knew how much it hurt not being able to breathe and he hadn't been breathing very well towards the end. He was in constant pain and when he died, he was finally released of that feeling.

He could finally breathe again.

"He's not in any pain." She assured me, wrapping her arm around my neck and hugging me tightly.

"I don't think I could have done this without you." I told her as we sat down on the edge of the bed. Since I'd been so busy with funeral arrangements and making sure my Mom was taken care of, I hadn't had time to process this with Bella.

"You did great." She assured me, giving me a sad smile. "Really, you've been so strong these last few days.

"I've been a crying idiot these last few days."

"Crying doesn't make you weak, Edward." She told me. "It means you're human, and you could have avoided everything and denied what happened. But, you didn't. You got out of bed and did what your Dad asked you to do."

"It just...sucks." I almost laughed. "It sucks feeling like this."

"It'll get easier." She told me, but I knew even she didn't know if that was true. "One day...it will."

"Can we just go to bed?" I yawned. "I'm pooped."

"Me too." She smiled, leaning in and gently brushing her lips against mine. We crawled into bed and we fell asleep in each other's arms for the first time in a while.

When we woke up, somehow things felt just a little bit better. The weight on my chest wasn't as strong and my eyes weren't feeling as dry anymore. I knew this was going to be a long road, but it was the small things that were going to get me through this. After I got Paige changed and dressed, I went downstairs and tried to preoccupy myself by cooking breakfast.

I knew Bella had been doing a lot the last week and I wanted to show her that I was going to be okay. I wanted to show her that I was still the man she married and I was still a good Dad. I wanted to show Ava that things were going to be normal eventually.

"Bacon!" Ava laughed as she sat down at the kitchen island. "Can we put cheddar on the eggs?"

"Yeah, can you get it from the fridge, please?" I asked as I pushed the eggs around the pan. Once they were cooked, I sprinkled the cheese on top and let it melt. Bella came downstairs just as I was plating the food and gave me a soft smile.

Things had to be okay...for Dad. They had to be okay and we had to start being normal again.

We spent the day just being tougher. I'd told our friends that we needed some time as a family, and Mom said she just wanted to be alone today. I called her a bunch throughout the day, just to check up on her. But, she was a lot stronger than she looked and threatened to throw my phone in the river if I didn't stop bothering her. It was nice to just spend the day in our PJ's, watching old Disney movies.

Just after lunch through, Bella looked really green and bolted to the downstairs bathroom. I went to check on her, but I heard her throwing up and knew she liked her privacy when she got sick. I smelt the lunch meat we'd used on our sandwiches and it smelled okay, so I just put the turkey away.

"She's been throwing up like everyday." Ava told me as she put the dishes in the dish washer. "Like every afternoon."

"Ava...for how many days?" I asked, realization hitting me.

"Since Carlisle died." She whispered. My eyes went wide and I dropped the dish towel and ran towards the bathroom. I heard the sink running and knocked on the door. She opened it for me and raised her eyebrows.

"Are you pregnant?" I asked, not beating around the bush.

"How did you..."

"The lunch meat smelled fine and Ava said you've been throwing up everyday for a week." I cut her off. "Are you pregnant?" I asked again.

"I am." She smiled and I couldn't help but smiling and wrapping my arms around her waist.

"When did you find out?" I asked as I pulled her upstairs and into our bedroom.

"Yesterday morning."

"Is that what you and Emmett were hiding?" I asked. She nodded and I just rolled my eyes. "Why didn't you say anything?" I asked gently.

"Because you were dealing with stuff and I..." She trailed off and I felt horrible. "I didn't want to add anymore stress."

"Stress?" I asked. "Bella, this is good news...why would you think it would stress me out?"

"Because we haven't talked about it." She whispered. "I mean, we've mentioned it but we never officially said we wanted another baby. And yesterday was just stressful in general and I didn't want you thinking you had to be happy because we're having another baby."

"Honey," I smiled, cradling her head and pulling her into a hug. "Well, thank you for trying to be considerate, but you didn't have to be."

"I'm probably almost three months." She whispered.

"So, another winter birthday." I laughed, placing my hand on her belly. If I hand't been so distracted yesterday, I probably would have noticed how round it was in her tight dress.

"Probably around February."

"Maybe she'll be our little Valentine." I smiled, rubbing her belly.

"She?" Bella giggled.

"Or he." I said. But...I was secretly hoping for another girl. I couldn't imagine having a boy running around our house and I was comfortable with girls.

"I kinda hope it's a boy." she shrugged. "It would be cool to have something other than a girl."

"As long as they're happy and healthy." I nodded. "We should celebrate."

"I don't think anyone is going to..." I cut her off.

"Dad would want us to be happy and celebrate this baby." I spoke softly, trying to be cool and calm about this. I so desperately wanted my Dad right now, but he wasn't here and so I was going to honor his memory. And the best way I thought to do that was getting the entire family together and celebrating the good rather than mourning his loss.

"You sure you're ready for this?" She asked gently, bringing her hand up to cup my cheek. "We can do something else."

"I...I don't even think my Dad would have had a funeral if everyone else didn't need it for him." I looked at the ground. "He told me over and over again that he didn't want everyone grieving his loss...he knew we would but it wasn't what he wanted to happen."

"We'll go out tomorrow." She nodded. "Before Emmett and Rosalie have to leave."

"When are they leaving?" I asked. "Better yet, when are they moving here?"

"Maybe that's something we can ask tomorrow at dinner." Bella laughed, standing up on her tiptoes and gently kissing me.

* * *

The next morning, while Bella was giving Paige a nap, I took Ava out to the store with me. We had told her about Bella's pregnancy last night before she went to bed. She was shocked at first, but thrilled that she got to be a big sister again. I knew she'd want to do something special for her Mom like she'd done when she found out about Paige. So, she instructed me where to go and we parked in front of a small boutique.

"Ava?" I asked as we got out of the car.

"Mom wants a nicer diaper bag." She told me as I opened the store door for her. We walked inside and the strs mostly had different kinds of bags along with other small accessories. "She said she didn't want to get one because there were better things to spend her money on, but she deserves a nice one."

"I agree." I smiled, looking around the store.

"I did some research last night and this place has really nice stuff for not that much." She said. "And I was also thinking it could be like an early birthday present from me."

"You don't have to pay, sweetie."

"I want to help." She smiled.

"Let's find a bag and then we can decide who's paying." I told her as I picked up one of the diaper bags.

"Yuck, that is not Mom's style at all." Ava laughed, making a disgusted look at me.

"Maybe you should pick out the bag." I rolled my eyes, putting the bag back. Ava was really sweet the way she went around the store, picking up different bags. She finally picked one up and showed it to me.

"This one is perfect." She nodded her head and I had to admit, the girl had good taste. It was black with white circles and had some dark blue straps. It really did suit Bella and it was simple, so I knew she'd love it.

"I agree." I looked at the price and it was one of the lesser expensive bags we'd looked at. I knew how much Ava wanted to help, so I told her to give me a quarter of the money and insisted that she could find an even better birthday present for Bella in September.

"She's gonna love it." Ava told me again as we drove home. When we pulled in the driveway and walked inside, our house was already starting to look normal again. I knew Bella had cleaned for the entire week after Dad died and our house was so clean it was starting to weird me out. But, Paige's toys were strewn across the living room floor and our coffee mugs were still on the island.

"Where'd you guys go?" She asked when we walked into the kitchen. She was seated in front of Paige, trying to feed her something other than bananas. The girl was 20 months and she still couldn't get enough of the damn fruit.

"Happy new baby!" Ava laughed as she handed Bella the brown bag.

"Guys," Bella rolled her eyes since she'd told us not to do anything for her. She said the baby was special enough, but there were some instances where Ava just didn't listen. And I was glad this was one of those moments.

"You like it?" I asked softly when Bella pulled her new diaper bag out.

"It's perfect." She smiled, leaning down and kissing the top of Ava's head. "How'd you know?"

"You're always saying how much you love Alice's diaper bag for Ryan because it looks like a purse." She shrugged. "Paige's diaper bag looks like a diaper bag."

"Thank you both." She laughed, leaning in and giving me a kiss. "Oh, Alice called and everyone is set for tonight. You talk to your Mom?"

"She'll be there." I nodded, looking at the clock. "Did you eat yet?"

"No, I've been trying to get this one to eat some of her BBQ pork."

"Can we have grilled cheese?" Ava asked. "We haven't had grilled cheese in forever."

"Three grilled cheeses coming up." I agreed, going to the pantry and grabbing the bread. "Wanna heat up some tomato soup?" I asked Ava, throwing her the cans. She pulled a pot out from under the stove and poured the red liquid in.

It was kind of amazing how yesterday I didn't even think the world was really going to be able to go on. I knew, obviously, life would go on and we would eventually heal. but I never imagined laughing and making lunch with my family just one week after losing my Dad. I guess that's kind of why we had loved ones...so they could pick you up after you fall and make you see the light rather than the dark.

We spent the rest of the afternoon together much like we had yesterday before we started getting ready for dinner. Not wanting to make too big of a fuss over her pregnancy, we decided to just go to a causal Italian place since that's all Bella had been craving for days.

"Bella?" I asked as she put her earrings on. "Are you happy about this?"

"The baby?" She asked and I nodded. "Of course I am. Why?"

"Because you were so worried about how I'd take it and...you never said if this was something you wanted."

"I think I don't want anymore after this one." She laughed, turning me around and wrapping her arms around me. "But, of course I'm happy. Because I get a new baby with you...and that's something to be happy about."

"I love you." I smiled, leaning down and kissing her forehead. Once we were all finished getting ready, we got on the road. We were the first one's there and they had sectioned off part of the restaurant for us. I mean, including everyone's kids, there were twelve of us...and that included three under the age of three.

Once everyone got there, things got kind of chaotic. But, that was typical when we were all together and I had never been this thankful to have the friends that I did. I never pictured Emmett getting married at all, let alone being the godfather to his second child. And after Maria, I didn't think Jasper would even let himself get close enough to another woman.

"Are you two ever going to move here?" Alice laughed as we passed around the bread bowel.

"We don't know what the hell to do." She shook her head. "I mean, it'd be great to be here with you guys but...my Mom loves having her grandkids right down the street."

"And, we don't know what we'd do." Emmett spoke up. "I mean, Rose could take her interior design anywhere, but I've got a good gig in Seattle. As great as Rosalie is at her job, we get all our health benefits from my job."

"We could always use another physical therapist at the practice." Jasper shrugged. "I mean, we have one but he's getting kind of old and we're getting more people who need PT."

"It's something to think about." Rosalie agreed. "But, we know you didn't invite us to dinner to talk about whether or not Emmett are going to move here." She glared at us.

"Well..." I sighed, looking at Bella.

"I'm pregnant." She smiled and Alice almost screamed.

"No way!" She smiled, standing up and rushing over to Bella to give her a big hug. "How far along are you?"

"Almost three months." She beamed. "So, now you guys gotta move here." She laughed, looking at Rosalie and Emmett.

"We really do." Emmett agreed, patting me on the back.

"I'm so happy for you two." Mom cried, but I knew these weren't sad tears. For the first time in months, Mom was crying because she was happy.

We all were happy...even after everything we'd been through.


	24. For One So Small

**Chapter Twenty-Four: For One So Small**

* * *

 **Bella's POV**

I wouldn't have thought it was possible, but we eventually got back to a sense of normalcy after Carlisle's death. Edward's initial grieving process hadn't been easy, but he didn't shut down on us. He was sad and missed his Dad everyday, but he was still with us. Even Esme was doing better than I would have expected. I knew the only real thing keeping them going was the fact that they knew Carlisle wouldn't want them shutting down and they wanted to honor him.

Back right before the holidays, Edward and I had the long conversation about what we were going to do about our address. We had built an amazing life in Chicago, but we also had a good life in Seattle. We talked a lot, made four different Pro/Con lists, and even just tried letting the situation to fate. But, when we went to Seattle for Thanksgiving, something just didn't fee right. The city would always have a special place in our hearts, but when we got there, it just felt like a bunch of great memories. Chicago felt like home now and we decided to stay.

Plus, Ava had built a great community here and ripping her from that didn't seem right.

Since our house in Chicago was rented and we were renting our house out in Seattle, we decided to house hunt for a permanent residence here. We sold our house in Seattle to a beautiful couple who were expecting their first baby and it just felt right. That house had brought us so many great moments and I knew it would do the same for this couple. We stayed in the same neighborhood, but just ended up moving a few streets away from where our rented house was.

The new house was perfect and it was big enough for our newest addition and no one was going to have to share a room. There was even a small room so Edward could have his own office so he wouldn't get distracted while trying to get his work done. We took our time painting all of our rooms again and since we decided to be surprised about what we were having, we painted the newest nursery a seafoam green and yellow.

It was kind of fun not knowing what we were having. We got all this nice gender neutral stuff, but we knew if we had another girl we'd have enough clothes for a lifetime. I knew Edward was rooting for another girl since he would never get enough of Paige, but I was rooting for a boy. I thought it'd be kind of fun to have a boy and watch sports with him and see a mini Edward running around.

Life for us in Chicago was hardly what we'd planned when we initially moved here, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

"Are you sure you want me to go to school?" Edward asked as he buttoned his shirt two days after my due date.

"Babe, I'm surprised you still have a job there." I laughed. "You missed so much when you're Dad was sick. I'll be fine."

"But, what if you go into labor?" He asked as he pulled his sweater on.

"Then I'll call your Mom to drive me to the hospital and call you to meet us there." I told him, just like I'd told him yesterday and the day before.

"But, you need help taking care of Paige." He argued.

"I've been doing a pretty good job these last few weeks, I think I can do it again today." I rolled my eyes. "I'm late, Edward...not crippled."

"I just wanna be here for you." He sighed, sitting down back on the bed.

"You are here for me." I gave him a nudge. "Just be here for me from school so you don't lose that nice job of yours."

"Okay, but if you go into labor..."

"I'll call you!" I laughed, leaning in and pressing my lips to his. He helped me get out of bed and then went to get Paige up like he did every morning. I waddled to the bathroom and got myself ready for the day before heading downstairs. Ava had already made me my oatmeal and had my breakfast all ready.

"Thanks, baby." I smiled, pushing her hair out of her face.

"How are you feeling, Mom?" She asked, taking a bite of her cereal. Edward put Paige in her chair and she was finally eating more than just Cheerio's and bananas for breakfast. It was a big victory in our house that day.

"I'm fine, Ava." I rolled my eyes. "Jeeze, you sound just like Edward."

"Hey, we care." She laughed as she checked the microwave clock. "Gotta go! Love you guys!"

"Love you!" We called after her as she ran out to catch the bus.

"This is your last chance to ask me to stay." Edward said, almost like he was threatening me.

"Freaking go!" I shook my head. He let Paige finish her breakfast before picking her up and setting her in the living room for me. I kissed him goodbye and went to sit with Paige while she watched an episode of Little Einsteins. I knew Edward had to go to work, but I really wished I could have told him to stay with me. I mean, I was fine but it definitely was nice having someone here with me.

Just before lunch, there was a loud knock on the door and I just prayed it wasn't someone coming to check in on me. Because, seriously. I was pregnant, I wasn't dying or anything. When I opened the door, Alice was standing there with Ryan in her arms and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"I know, you're just pregnant and you don't need anyones help." She sighed as we walked inside. "But, I thought I could keep you company and let these lovebirds have a date." She laughed, putting Ryan down next to Paige. Those two along with Hunter and Megan were definitely going to be best friends. I mean, if putting Jasper, Emmett and Edward in a playpen together worked, it would definitely work for our kids.

"The company is nice." I sighed, leaning back on the couch. Suddenly, I felt intense cramping in my stomach and I took a deep breath, surprised by how much it hurt.

"What?" She asked alarmed.

"I think..." I tried talking, but I was so distracted by the pain I could't even think. "I think we're gonna have to cut the playdate short."

"Why?" Her eyes got big. "Oh my god! You're in labor, aren't you?"

"Yep," I nodded as the contraction passed. "We gotta call Esme."

"Don't be an idiot." She laughed. "I can take you to the hospital." She said and I wasn't about to argue her. She got Paige's seat from my car and put it into her car and then we made our way to the hospital. I called Edward on the way and he said 'I told me so' before he said anything else. When we got there, a room was already ready for me and my doctor was on her way.

"How do you feel?" Alice asked as she sat down next to me once I'd gotten settled.

"Not...too bad yet." I breathed as another contraction hit. This one definitely wasn't as intense as the last few, but I still prayed labor wouldn't last forever like it had for my first two kids. Finally, after half an hour, Edward came busting through the door with a big bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"We're having a baby!" She smiled before giving me a big kiss. "Thanks for driving her over here, Alice."

"Well, duh!" Alice laughed as she picked Ryan up again.

"My Mom is going to go to the house to meet Ava." Edward told her. "You can drop Paige off with her."

"What about Ryan?" She asked. "What? You think I'm leaving you here?"

"Alice, I got this." I laughed. "Go home and we'll call you when the baby gets here."

"You were here with me." She wined. "And I've been here the whole time for every baby you've ever had."

"You didn't have your own family the last two times I had a kid." I reminded her. "I really appreciate it, but please. Go home and we'll call you when labor progresses and then you'll be here when he's born."

"Fine!" She sighed dramatically. She grabbed Paige's hand and left our room.

"How are you doing, baby?" Edward asked me as a contraction hit.

"I've been better." I tried laughing. "You call my parents?"

"They're book a flight now." He assured me. Mom wanted to be here all week with me, but I knew Dad didn't have that kind of a luxury. The station was more than wiling to let him take off when the baby was here, but not until then. They said the minute I went into labor they'd be on a plane and would be here before I had to push.

"Edward?" I whispered and he looked at me with his beautiful green eyes. "We're having another baby."

"We're having another baby." He smiled, reaching over and cupping my cheek with his hand.

My parents had booked a flight for three o'clock and did get there in time before I had to start pushing. I was actually kind of confused because I'd already had two kids and they said typically labor progressed quicker after each birth. But, that wasn't the case for me and by the time dinner rolled around, I was only at seven centimeters.

"I'm so tired." I complied after my doctor checked me again and I was only at nine centimeters at two in the morning. "Why don't babies like coming out of me?"

"Because you've created the perfect home for them."

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, you're doing great." He whispered, leaning in and giving me another kiss.

"This baby better be worth it." I joked, knowing that I wouldn't care if I was in labor for a week as long as my baby was healthy.

And then finally, at three in the morning, the doctor told me I was fully dilated and ready to push. I was put in the stirrups and my doctor guided me through the pushing. I screamed bloody murder, just like I had with my first two, and was super relieved when I finally felt relief.

"Dad, you wanna cut the cord?" She asked as my baby cried his or her first cry. Edward nodded and grabbed the scissors from her, and began crying when he got up close.

"It's a girl." He cried, cutting the cord. They took her and wrapped her up in a pink blanket and brought her back to me. They placed her in my arms and I fell in love all over again. It was the most amazing feeling in the world becoming a mother again and I had never loved anyone more than I did in that moment.

"She's beautiful." I cried as she screamed away. "She's opening her eyes." I gushed as I looked down at my baby girl.

"She's perfect." Edward agreed, placing a kiss on her little forehead. The cleaned me up and rolled me back to my room. Since it was so early in the morning, we decided to wait until the sun came up to call everyone. I knew Alice and Ava would be pissed we didn't call immediately, but Edward and I wanted to enjoy this time with our last little girl.

At eight, we began making the phone calls to everyone who wanted to be here. Within a half an hour, our room was filled with our friends and family as they passed around the baby. Everyone took their time, cooing and holding her but after a while, Ava got impatient and demanded to know her name...just like she'd done when Paige was born.

"Really, though." Mom smiled, handing the baby back to us. "What is her name?"

"When we first started thinking about names, we wanted to honor my Dad." Edward explained. "But, then we decided it was time to honor both her grandpa's."

"How the hell did you manage to do that?" Dad asked.

"We played around with different names like Charlotte, but none of them seemed right." I told them. "And then...babe, you wanna tell them her name?"

"Everyone, we would like you to meet Carlie Elizabeth Masen." He whispered, looking back down at our daughter. "'Car' for Carlisle and 'lie' for Charlie."

"That's..." Dad trailed off. "Wonderful."

"You're Dad would have loved that." Esme cried as she looked down at the baby who'd fallen asleep in her arms.

"Where'd Elizabeth come from?" Ava asked, making me laugh. Of course that's the question she'd ask.

"We thought it was pretty." I shrugged, not having a reason behind her middle name. "Plus, Edward wanted to name Paige Elizabeth so I thought I'd give it to him this time."

* * *

After two days in the hospital, it was time for Carlie to go home. We asked Alice to not throw us a party this time since I was just exhausted and just wanted to go home. Edward drove as slow as he did when Paige was born, and I was thankful to have a husband who was as cautious and caring as he was. When we got home, I was super grateful for my Mom who'd cleaned the house and made us a few freezer meals.

We carried Carlie up to her nursery and showed her around before putting her in the bassinet in our bedroom for her nap. We took some time to spend with Paige and Ava since we didn't see them very much these last few days and Paige kept asking for her baby. Paige was amazing the first time she met Carlie and the only thing she kept telling us was that Carlie was her baby.

I was still amazed at how wonderful my daughters were. And now, I had another new perfect daughter.

"Dad would have loved her." Edward whispered as we watched her sleep after we'd put Paige to bed that night.

"He does love her." I reminded him. "Just because you can't see him, doesn't mean he isn't here."

"Right," He nodded, kissing my cheek. "Thanks for giving me the thee best daughters." Even after all this time, it still got to me every time he called Ava his daughter. I knew that Ava knew Edward a lot better than she knew Jake and Edward had always been there for her, but knowing that he loved Ava as much as Paige as Carlie just got to me. He'd been calling her his daughter before we were even married and I just wondered how I got so lucky with him.

"Thanks for being an amazing father." I whispered, leaning back into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. We watched her sleep until she woke up screaming, demanding to be fed and changed and Edward set into our old routine. I still didn't like the fact that Paige wasn't potty trained yet, but she wasn't pooping and peeing in her diapers as much as she did when she was younger.

I was determined to potty train her as soon as possible though.

The next few days seemed to fly by. Edward thankfully had taken paternity leave like he did when Paige was born and I was so freaking grateful. Carlie was definitely calmer than Paige was, but she was still a lot more active than Ava was when she was a baby. We fell into a good routine and it just felt normal for us. I'd feed her and then Edward would take care of the burping and the diapers.

Paige got even better with her new sister and was constantly bringing her new toys to play with. It got to a point where I had to tell Paige to stop because she was bringing her toys that were bigger than the baby, but it was cute knowing she wanted to share with her. I told her that Carlie was just too little for the big toys right now, but she'd need someone to share with her once she got a bit bigger.

"She's asleep." Edward sighed as he came down the stairs and sat down on the couch with Paige and I. I decided I needed to give Paige some extra loving tonight and so I let her fall asleep in my arms, something I never did because I knew they had to be able to sleep in their crib.

"Finally." I laughed. As good of a baby as Carlie was, sleep was not something she liked doing and it was a challenge to get her quietly in her bassinet.

"Jasper has been talking to Emmett a lot lately about taking the PT job at the practice." He said once I put Paige in her crib.

"Yeah?"

"And I think Emmett really wants to take it to help honor my Dad and the practice he built." He told me. "But Rosalie doesn't want to abandon her parents."

"They need to do what's best for them and their family." I reminded him. "If what's best for them is to move to Chicago that that's great. But, if it's best to stay close to Rose's parents, we have to leave them alone at some point."

"I know, but I just want Megan and Hunter to grow up with our kids."

"I do too." I reminded him. "If they're going to move here, then they'll move here. Don't pressure them."

"Fine!" He groaned sarcastically.

"Hey, Edward?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for taking that teaching job at my school." I whispered.

"Hey Bella?" He mocked.

"What?"

"Thanks for marrying me." He whispered and leaned in for a kiss.


	25. Epilogue: The Stories We Will Write

**Epilogue: The Stories We Will Write**

* * *

 **Edward's POV**

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I introduce to you your Valedictorian." The principle spoke into the microphone. "Ava Swan." I looked over at Bella and grabbed her hand in mine, trying to help both of us keep it together.

This was it. Ava was finally graduating high school. And, although I wasn't her biological father, I couldn't help but feel this overwhelming pride for her. She was my oldest and I definitely had a different connection with her than I did with Paige and Carlie. She had been there to witness Bella and I falling in love and that was just special to me.

"Thank you, Principle Wallace." She smiled after the cheers had died down. "Friends, family and fellow graduates. Well, we finally did it. We took our final tests, signed our final yearbooks and said our final goodbyes to the teachers who helped mold us. This is a moment we've been striving for since we started school in the first grade. And yet, as I stand here in front of everybody, I can't help but feel a tiny bit sad. But, I won't go back and reminisce about the last four years. Instead I think it's more important to focus on where we will be in the next four years. Whether it's baking great bread, cooking up laws in the senate, teaching futures generations, or creating new music, all of us must make sure the word success is associated with what we do."

Bella and I were well past tearing up a little bit. She was so poised and well put together up at the podium and was miles ahead of what I was when I stood at that same podium. She grew up to everything Bella and I hoped she would and the odds had been stacked against her. She was the stereotype of everyone you could think of. She was the product of a teenage pregnancy and had a deadbeat Dad.

And yet, she defeated all the odds stacked up against her and was on her way to do great things. Ava had always had big dreams, and she wasn't going to let those dreams just be dreams. She was going to achieve what she'd been wanting since she was sixteen years old and she was going to study prelaw. When she came to me after a fieldtrip to a courthouse, she asked me all sorts of questions about how you knew what you wanted to do with the rest of your life.

I told her she just had to go with her gut.

And she did. She looked into different kinds of law to study and researched a bunch of colleges and law schools. She interned at a few different law firms and spent hours asking my mother questions. And, as senior year approached, she realized that she did want to be a lawyer and wanted to go to law school. She applied to almost a dozen schools, but I knew that Northwestern was her number one choice, and she'd gotten in.

In just three short months, my Ava was going to be attending Northwestern for prelaw. In three months Ava would be moving out, creating a four-person household for the first time since Carlie was born.

"Fellow graduates, it is up to all of you to make a difference, to have people say honorable things about you and leave the impression that you never gave up on yourselves. Society is counting on you. Excellence is never an accident- it's the result of hard work. Go forward, work hard, and attain excellence; the kind of excellence that will make your dreams reality. A secure future can be reality you must visualize tomorrow — a safe, happy, prosperous tomorrow and make it happen. Congratulations everyone…we did it!"

The crowd erupted in applauded and Bella even stood up, completely humiliating Ava. She was a hell of a speechmaker and I had no doubt she'd be an even better lawyer. As I looked down the row of people sitting with us, it amazed me how many people Ava had touched in her short, eighteen years. My parents, Bella's parents, along with our friends and their families were here, cheering her on and it was heartwarming that they all wanted to be here for her.

After the superintendent spoke and the class president gave his speech, it was time for the diplomas to be handed out. They started calling the graduates one by one and when it was Ava's turn, I had to stand up. I stood up and got the closet look I could, and I could tell from where we were sitting she was rolling her eyes at me. I sat back down and started crying again when the principle announced them officially graduated and they stood up to throw their caps in the air.

"Can we go see Ava now?" Paige begged, seconds after they'd thrown their caps.

"Yeah, baby." Bella nodded, wiping her cheeks. I reached down and picked Carlie up into my arms and we headed down to the floor where the graduates were waiting.

"Are you getting a weird sense of deja vu?" Emmett asked as he held Hunter's hand as we walked down the bleacher stairs.

"Oh yeah." I nodded. "The only thing missing is Jasper making out with Maria."

"I can make out with Alice if that'll make you guys feel better?" He laughed, coming up behind us with their two-year-old son, Elliot in his arms.

"No, I think we've embarrassed Ava enough." I told him. I scanned the crowd and finally found Ava in the ocean of caps and gowns talking to a few of her friends. I called her name and she looked over and her face lit up like a Christmas tree. She said goodbye to her friends and ran over towards us.

"Congratulations, baby." Bella gushed as she hugged her tightly. I put Carlie on the ground and hugged her next before she went to hug her sisters.

"Your speech was amazing, Ava." Rosalie smiled, giving her a hug. I saw Jake with his wife Kate, from the corner of my eye and nudged her to go see them. Although their relationship had been rocky and she never fully forgave him, he was around when it mattered. He didn't miss another one of her birthdays and he was making a genuine effort.

After nineteen years, Jake was finally putting something into his relationship with his daughter.

I had a strong feeling a lot of that was to do with Kate. When they met, there was an instant change in his attitude and it only got better as they got more serious. The two of them seemed to just click and she brought out a side in Jake I never thought we'd see. I still didn't like the guy and had no idea who'd want to marry him, but they worked together. And I knew Ava like Kate a lot more than anyone else he'd dated which definitely helped.

Ava spent some time with Jake and Kate before coming back over to us. I looked over and saw how sad he looked as he watched her with our friends, and us and for a split second, I felt kind of bad. If Paige or Carlie ever chose other people over me on their graduation days, I'd be heartbroken. For the first time since I'd ever met him…I had some sympathy for him.

"Ava!" A familiar voice called and I turned to see Riley running through the crowd. "You're speech was awesome!." He smiled, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek. Riley and Ava had been dating since her sixteenth birthday party and I had to admit, they were pretty dang cute together. They almost reminded me of Maria and Jasper, without all the early marriage talk.

"Riley and Ava sitting in a tree…" Paige started mocking before Emmett put his hand over her mouth. "What? I was just kidding." She smiled, punching Emmett in the arm.

"Let's go home and have some cake." I said, clapping my hands together. Bella grabbed the girls hands as Riley promised to be over soon with his family. As I was gathering the rest of our things, I saw Jake standing towards the back with his hands shoved in his pocket. I sighed, thinking long and hard about my next movement and realized this was his daughter's moment too. As much as I couldn't stand him, without him we wouldn't even be here right now and I probably wouldn't have met Bella.

"We're having some cake at my Mom's house." I told him when I got over to him. "You guys wanna come?"

"I don't want to impose." He shrugged, and I noticed Kate nudging him.

"It's fine." I nodded. "Bella got enough cake to feed half an army. I know Ava would like it if you were there…even if it doesn't seem like it." I told him and he nodded sadly. I gave him the address and then went out to the car. We made our way to my Mom's house and the younger girls rushed inside to get a closer look at the cake. After my Dad passed away, Mom decided it was time for a change and she moved into a smaller house. I begged her not to, but she just told me she didn't need all the space and it was hard staying in that house.

After everyone had gotten there, we made Ava give another short speech before cutting the cake. The little kids went into the den and ate their cake while cracking jokes. Elliot walked over to me and climbed into my lap as I sat down on the couch and snuggled close to me. I loved all of my friends kids, but Elliot had always had a special place in my heart, and I think part of that was due to the fact that I was in the room when he was born. Jasper had been at work when Alice went into labor and there was a five-car pileup. Elliot came a lot quicker than Ryan and I was dressed and ready to go with her to the delivery room. Thankfully, Jasper showed up with minutes to spare, but Alice's hand was gripping mine so tightly she wouldn't let go.

"Thanks for inviting my Dad." Ava whispered as she came up to me as I stood in the doorway of the porch. I gave her a smile before wrapping my arm around her shoulder and pulling her close.

"I wouldn't want to miss this for Paige or Carlie." I told her. "It was the right thing to do."

"Edward?" She asked. "Thank you for...being an amazing Dad to me and my sisters. And for making my Mom so happy."

"I have loved these last twelve years with you and your Mom." I told her, kissing the top of her head.

"Do you think Riley and I will make it?" She asked. Riley had decided to go to Indiana University, which was almost five hours away from Northwestern. She had told Bella they wanted it to work out, but she wasn't sure if they could do it.

"I think if you love him...then yeah." I told her. I wasn't sure how real a nineteen year olds love was, but I knew that she did love him. As young as they were, they loved each other. It might have been puppy love and maybe it wasn't a love that would have made it to marriage, but for now...they loved each other.

After everyone had left Mom's house, it was time for our family to head home. I carried Carlie to the car and gently buckled her in while Ava helped drag Paige to the car. I went inside once my kids were in the car and hugged my Mom and thanked her. We made our way home and put the little kids to bed before sitting out on our deck.

"We have some presents for you." Bella smiled after we'd been sitting on the deck for a while.

"You guys already gave me stuff." Ava argued.

"Trust us, you'll love this." Bella nodded as she handed Ava the carefully wrapped presents. The first present she opened was a small, silver necklace that looked like a small compass. On the bottom of the box was printed Oh The Places You'll Go and Bella said this was the book she'd gotten when she graduated. The second present was a box full of small dorm room essentials, including her pink comforter.

"Perfect!" She laughed as she pulled the comforter from the box. "What else could have have possibly gotten me?" She asked, unwrapping the best gift. "Guys," She trailed off when the HP logo was revealed.

"Every college student needs a good laptop." Bella smiled.

"I have a laptop." She shrugged. "This is too much."

"You're using my Dad's old laptop." I reminded her. "It's in good condition, but you deserve the perfect laptop to take all your important law notes."

"Thank you so much." She cried, wrapping her arms around both our necks. "It's perfect."

"And we have a pink case on it's way." Bella told her. After spending a little more time outside, Ava told us she was exhausted from the long day and went upstairs for bed. Bella and I finished our drinks and we headed inside for bed as well. As I watched Ava walk out of the bathroom in her graduation dress, I couldn't help but think back to the day I met her.

 _"Hello" I smiled and then looked down at the little girl. "Who are you?"_

 _"This is Ava." The mother answered as Ava hid her face from me. "It was the same thing last year and she was having fun in an hour so don't worry."_

 _"Hi, Ava." I smiled as I bent down to her level. "We're going to have a lot of fun in the first grade."_

 _"See, sweetie?" The mother asked. "Just because you have a boy for a teacher this year doesn't change anything. He seems just as cool as Mrs. Anderson did last year." She smiled as I stood back up. "I'm Bella."_

 _"Edward." I smiled. "I mean, Mr. Masen." I said and I could feel my cheeks warming up. "I'll give you two a few minutes." I told her and walked over to another couple and their kids. I watched as Ava clung to Bella and really prayed that she was right and that she'd be okay. Once Bella left, Ava cried for a little bit but once Jason introduced himself, she was fine._

 _And she was smart. Damn she was smart for a first grader. Granted, she wasn't going to be skipping classes, but she knew her stuff. And she was an excellent speaker and I understand everything she said. It was incredible watching her with the other kids. She was so kind and willing to share all of her toys and even gave one of the girls her doll when it got snatched from her hand during free time._

 _"What are you drawing, Ava?" I asked when we had some extra time after science._

 _"Me and Mommy." She said. "We live in the garage. I have a princess room!"_

 _"A princess room!"_

 _"Pappy pained it pink for me and I have crown stickers all over the wall." She told me. "Its super pretty."_

 _"It sounds pretty." I smiled as I watched her coloring._

 _"Maybe someday you could come see it!"_

 _"Maybe." I nodded, knowing that definitely wasn't going to happen._

"Earth to Edward." Bella laughed as she threw one of our pillows at me.

"I was just thinking back to my first day at school." I told her as we crawled into bed and pulled her close to me. "And the first time I met Ava."

"She was so nervous to have a boy teacher." She laughed. "And yet, Paige couldn't have been more excited to have a male teacher this year."

"She told me that day that maybe I could come over and see her princess room." I told her. "I didn't even think I'd be able to see that room."

"It's amazing how things work out." She whispered.

Summer past by way too quickly. The five of us did everything we could think of to make Ava's last summer a memorable one. As we ran around Chicago, I couldn't help but think back to my last summer. Jasper and Emmett did everything we could to make sure we'd never forget about the place we grew up. I loved that I could do with Ava along with my other girls.

The day we moved Ava in finally came and none of us were ready. Although Ava had had plenty of rooms, she always considered this to be her favorite...aside from her princess room. When I walked in that morning, it was so strange. She'd taken her posters off her wall and put her trinkets in boxes. She was moving out and if I was feeling this way, I could only imagine how Bella was feeling.

"You ready, kiddo?" I asked after I'd carried the last box to the small UHaul. She turned to me, tears in her eyes and shook her head no.

"I don't wanna do this." She cried, running over to me and throwing her arms around me. "I'm not ready to leave. And my sisters need me."

"Your sisters need you to set an excellent example." I whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"I miss Riley." She cried since Riley had left earlier that week. "I don't wanna go...I'm not ready."

"Ava, you're more than ready." I told her. "You are so ready for Northwestern and what's ahead." I said. "You're ready."

"I can't do it." She argued. "I'm not smart enough."

"Ava, Northwestern wouldn't have accepted you if you weren't smart enough." I told her. "Don't sell yourself short."

"You really think I can do this?" She asked, stepping back and wiping her cheeks.

"I do." I sighed.

"I'm going to miss you guys."

"We're going to miss you too." I assured her. "And we're only a half an hour away...if you need us we'll be right up."

"I don't know how people go any further away from college." She shook her head.

"I don't know." I shrugged, smiling at her. "I liked being away."

"Well, then you didn't have as good of parents as I do." She rolled her eyes.

"Not true." I shook my head. "I have the best parents anyone could ask for."

And I did. I missed my Dad every single day. Every big moment in our lives, like when Carlie was born and when Ava got accepted to Northwestern, I missed him. I hated that he was missing these moments with us, but I guess he wasn't missing anything. He was always with us, even though we couldn't see him.

And I was taking his advice to heart. I was cherishing Bella and loving her with all my might. Even though my Dad was gone, my life was still pretty perfect.


	26. Author's Note!

**Author's Note!**

 _Well everyone, that concludes All This Time along with the Poison and Wine series. Last night when I realized this story was almost over, I got really sad. But I couldn't have written this story and created these characters without you guy. Thank you so much for reading this sequel and supporting it._

 _Thanks again!_

 ** _-SpringHiller09_**


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